SYMPTOM: Pint appears to be crystal clear...
FAULT: It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.
ACTION: Punch him/her.

SYMPTOM: Don't recognise anyone, don't even recognise the room you're in.
FAULT: Don't panic - you've wandered into the wrong party.
ACTION: See if they've any free pints anyhow.

SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.

SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet.
FAULT: Improper bladder control.
ACTION: Stand next to nearest pet dog, complain about how house training has "gone to the dogs nowadays".

SYMPTOM: Pint appears unusually pale and tasteless.
FAULT: Glass empty.
ACTION: Get someone to get you another pint.

SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
FAULT: You've fallen over backwards.
ACTION: Have yourself chained to bar counter.

SYMPTOM: Mouth contains fag-ends.
FAULT: You have fallen forward.
ACTION: See above.

SYMPTOM: Beer tastes tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.
ACTION: Retire to loo, practise in mirror.

SYMPTOM: Floor blurry.
FAULT: You're looking through bottom of empty glass.
ACTION: Get someone to get you another pint.

SYMPTOM: Floor moving.
FAULT: You are being carried out.
ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another pub/party

SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark.
FAULT: Bar has closed, have yez no homes to go to
ACTION: Confirm home address with barman, grab taxi home.

SYMPTOM: Taxi's interior suddenly takes on colourful aspect and textures.
FAULT: Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations.
ACTION: Cover mouth.

SYMPTOM: Everyone looks up to you and smiles.
FAULT: You are dancing on a table.
ACTION: Fall on somebody cushy-looking.

SYMPTOM: Hands hurts, nose hurts, mind unusually clear though.
FAULT: You have been in a fight.
ACTION: Apologise to everyone you see, just in case it was them.

SYMPTOM: Your singing sounds distorted.
FAULT: That lager is too weak.
ACTION: Have more drink until your voice improves.

SYMPTOM: Don't remember the words to song.
FAULT: Beer is just right.
ACTION: Play air guitar.

SYMPTOM: Ugly woman/man in your sights.
FAULT: Insufficient beer intake.
ACTION: Up dosage immediately.

SYMPTOM: Shins and toes hurt.
FAULT: You've been walking into things.
ACTION: Maintain dosage.

SYMPTOM: Squishy feeling in the hands.
FAULT: You have grabbed hold of a woman's breasts.
ACTION: Duck to avoid boyfriend's fist.

SYMPTOM: Bed is bumping around.
FAULT: Taking an ambulance ride.
ACTION: It's too late, you made complete arsehole of urself

1. Who are you?

2. Are we friends?

3. When and How did we meet?

4. Do you have a crush on me?

5. Have you ever wanted to punch me?

6. Give me a nickname and explain why?

7. Describe me in 1 word...

8. What was your first impression of me?

9. Do u still think the same?

10. What reminds you of me?

11. If you could give me anything what would it be?

12. How well do you know me?

13. When was the last time you saw me?

14. Ever wanted to tell me something that you couldn't?

15. Are you going to put this on your blog and see what I say about you

This Will Take U Back I Feel Like Im On My Death Bed lmao 6 days ago

Anybody under the age of 13 should not read this, and if you do, you should not repost this.
Just because you were born in '97 doesn't mean you're a 90's kid.
It's not like you could remember the original Simpsons. I am sorry but three conscious years of the 90's just wont cut it.
You're a 90's kid if:
You remember watching Doug, Ren & Stimpy, Pinky and the Brain , and Two Stupid Dogs.
AAAAAAAH real monsters.
You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!
You just cant resist finishing this... "Iiiiiiin west philladelphia born and raised..."
You remember Dinosaurs, and Boy Meets World.
You remember when, 2Pac and Selena died.
You remember when it was actually worth getting up early
on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
You remember reading "Goosebumps"
You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.
You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence...Not...
You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record "Your FAVORITE song of ALL time"
Captain Planet. He's a Hero.
You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green Ranger were meant to be together.
You remember when super nintendo's and Sega Genisis became popular.
You remember You've been framed ... Before the fat bird of emmerdale took over
You remember watching home alone 1, 2 , and 3........and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"
You remember the premiership being invented
You remember when Yo-Yos were cool.
you could watch are you afraid of the dark!
You remember those Where's Waldo books..
You remember when Mortal Kombat Was "Da Bomb"!
U remember eating tiger tongues.(those sour candys)
You remember watching the 1st Batman, Aladin, Ninja Turtles, and movies.
U remember drinkin' umbongo.
if you rememeber when every thing was "da BOMB"
when they made the new lunchables so that you could make tacos and pizza!!
You remember boom boxes vs. cd players
when ian brown wasnt solo n the stone roses rained supreme
Making those little paper fortune cookie things.. and then predicting your life with them.
You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By The Bell"
You played and/or collected "Pogs"
You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet or Nano and brought it everywhere
You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet.
And Windows 95 was the best.
You watched the original cartoons of Rugrats, Power Rangers,and Ninja Turtles.
Michael Jordan was a king.
when oasis and blur were fighting for number 1
Growing Pains.
Carebears and The Gummy Bear show
you watched Clarissa Explains It All
You collected all the Troll dolls wiht the bright hair
You owned a portable tape player.
If you even know what an original walkman is.
You remember wanting to sit on the orange Nickelodeon couch.
You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"
You know the Macarena by heart.
when we all wanted to live like common people
"Talk to the hand" ... enough said
when bez wasnt a reality tv star
You always said, "Then why don't you marry it!"
You went to McD's to play in the playplace.
You remember playing on merry go rounds...at the play ground.
When we were younger:
Before the MySpace frenzy...
Before the Internet & text messaging...
Before Sidekicks & iPods...
Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX...
Before Sponge Bob
When light up sneakers were cool.
When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.
When we recorded stuff on VCRs .
When we called the radio station to request songs to hear off our walkmans.
When 2Pac and Biggie where alive.
When the Chicago Bulls were the best team ever.
Way back.
when it was all about Nintendo64.
when you had a wind breaker w/bright colored sleeves
when you collected pokemon cards
Before we realized all this would eventually disappear
Who would have thought you'd miss the 90's so much!!!!!