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1 Comment 204 weeks
This reminds me of a joke. This guy comes into a bar, walks up to the bartender. Says, "Bartender, I got me a bet for you. I'm gonna bet you $300 that I can piss into that glass over there and not spill a single, solitary drop." The bartender looks. I mean, we're talking, like, this glass is like a good ten feet away. He says, "Now wait, let me get this strait. You're tryin' to tell me you'll bet me $300 that you can piss, standing over here, way over there into that glass, and not spill a single drop?" Customer looks up and says, "That's right." Bartender says, "Young man, you got a bet." The guy goes, "Okay, here we go. Here we go." Pulls out his thing. He's lookin' at the glass, man. He's thinkin' about the glass. He's thinkin' about the glass. Glass. He's thinkin' about the glass, glass. Thinkin' about his dick. Dick, glass, dick, glass, dick, glass, dick, glass, dick, glass, dick, glass, dick, glass. And then, *foosh*, he lets it rip. And he-he's pisses all over the place, man. He's pissin' on the bar. He pissin' on the stools, on the floor, on the phone, on the bartender! He's pissing everywhere *except* the fucking glass! Right? Okay. So, bartender, he's laughing his fuckin' ass off. He's $300 richer. He's like, "Ha, ha, ha, ha!" Piss dripping off his face. "Ha, ha, ha, ha!" He says, "You fucking idiot, man! You got it in everything except the glass! You owe me $300 punta." Guy goes, "Excuse me just one-one little second." Goes in the back of the bar. In back, there's a couple of guys playing pool. He walks over to them. Comes back to the bar. Goes, "Here you go, Mr. Bartender, 300." And the bartender's like, "What the fuck are you so happy about? You just lost $300, idiot!" The guy says, "Well, see those guys over there? I just bet them $500 a piece that I could piss on your bar, piss on your floor, piss on your phone, and piss on you, and not only would you not be mad about it, you'd be happy."
1 Comment 229 weeks
Its truly a sad moment!
You see people giving each other weary smiles or avoiding eye contact with tent holders beside you who just 24 hours previous you were snorting colombias finest of the top of their jack daniels bottle.
You trudge through and see the same discarded "old lady" basket trolley by the Pole holding up the fairy lights.
You see the toilet roll fluttering in the breeze hanging from the light wires.
You see THAT queue for the shuttle busses back.
You see the "family" who thought taking their kid with them was a good idea, crying because he's tired.
You see the unopened Drink that secretly if this was the friday (or Thursday now) you wouldnt hesitate in grabbing cos "we're at T!!"
You see the plastic bottles that have suspicious yellow liquid inside.
You see that tin of beer you couldnt find last night.
You see you STILL have to take the tent down!
You see your faithful camping seat and think twice about taking him home.
You see an ocean of litter.
You see your dirty wristband and think "Im not gonna take this off EVER"
You see your damp and wrinkled T programme
You see someone with sunburn......even though it has been raining constant!
You see that portaloo inside for the last time.
You see your phone battery is on one remaining bar (or dead).
You see empty carparks where you played football with some strangers.
You see that ferris wheel with a chunk missing from it?!?!?!
You see the tops of the slam tent for the last time.
UNTIL NEXT YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1 Comment 244 weeks
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