REASONS WHY CHOCOLATE IS BETTER THAN SEX

You’re never too old to enjoy chocolate.
It’s safe to have chocolate while you’re driving.
You never feel guilty after chocolate.
You can make chocolate last as long as you want.
You can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting your face slapped.
With chocolate – satisfaction’s guaranteed.

REASONS WHY CHOCOLATE IS BETTER THAN WOMEN

Chocolate never keeps you waiting.
Chocolate doesn’t get jealous when you look at another chocolate bar.
You never have to buy a box of chocolates for a box of chocolates.
Chocolate doesn’t talk incessantly while you’re watching the football.
It doesn’t expect you to remember the anniversary of the first time you met.
Chocolate never tries to chat up your best friend.
Chocolate isn’t looking for a long term commitment.

Iraq TV Guide
MONDAY
8:00 Husseinfeld
8:30 Mad About Everything
9:00 Suddenly Sanctions
9:30 Allah McBeal
TUESDAY
8:00 Wheel of Fortune and Terror
8:30 The Price is Right if Saddam Says its Right
9:00 Children are Forbidden to Say The Darndest Things
9:30 Iraq's Funniest Public Execution Bloopers
WEDNESDAY
8:00 Buffy the Yankee Imperialist Dog Slayer
8:30 Diagnosis: Heresy
9:00 Just Shoot Me
9:30 Veilwatch
THURSDAY
8:00 Mahatma Loves Chachi
8:30 M*U*S*T*A*S*H
9:00 Veronica's Closet Full of Long, Black,Shapeless Dresses
9:30 My Two Baghdads
FRIDAY
8:00 Judge Saddam
8:30 Captured Iranian Soldiers Say The Darndest Things
9:00 Achmed's Creek
9:30 No-witness News

Oxegen 2006


Who is going well I sure fucking am missed out on the last one so there no way im going to miss this one going for the two days and camping going to get shit fased. The line up is

Saturday 8 July
The Who
The Strokes
Arctic Monkeys
James Brown
Richard Ashcroft
Primal Scream
Editors
Eels
The Magic Numbers
The Go! Team
Hard Fi
Damien Dempsey
Erick Morrilo
SUNDAY 9 JULY
Red Hot Chilli Peppers
Kaiser Chiefs
Paul Weller
Franz Ferdinand
Bellx1
Pharrell Williams
Sigur Ros
Manu Chao
Goldfrapp
Placebo
Damian "Jr.Gong" Marley
Ben Harper & The Innocent Criminals
Clap Your Hands Say Yeah
The Kooks
Felix Da Housecat
David Morales
Timo Maas
Errol Alkan


Then there is the electric picnic its in

STRADBALLY HALL
The rolling lawns of Stradbally Hall provides the perfect setting for a feast of eclectic music, entertainment and food. The ancestral home of the Cosby family is a picturesque 600 acre estate with it’s own lake, surrounded by ancient oak and chestnut trees. Situated just an hour from Dublin it is nonetheless in the heart of the country in the quaint little town of Stradbally, Co. Laois.
COMEDY
MC’ed by Des Bishop, the International Comedy Club Stage provides a respite and a touch of surrealism to the festival, curiously Ireland’s favourite comedian and comedy stage Tommy Tiernan always seems quite at home headlining in the middle of a field!
This stage has become a real favourite with festival-goers, tent increased in size last year but still had people craning their necks from outside the tent to get a chuckle in!
Full comedy line-up for 2006 to be announced.
The line up is
Yeah yeah yeahs. Devendra banhart
Basement Jaxx Bloc Party
The Frames Super Furry Animals
Antony AND The Johnsons Elbow
New Order Belle and Sebastian
Saul Williams Groove Armada
Gang of Four Rufus Wainwright
Pet Shop Boys
And a lot more 1st 2nd & 3rd September 2006
Oxegen 2006