Do’s and Don’ts for Magaluf 07.
Yorkshire Girls do it best…

The Definate Do's...

Do join the mile high club
Do sit on the suitcase carousel
Do go skinny dipping
Do get with two Irish brothers
Do have sex on a sun lounger
Do get sand in places you didn’t know existed
Do go back to your own hotel
Do get so drunk you have to be carried home
Do visit a nudist beach
Do get with the Rep
Do use carrot oil
Do try your best on the bar crawl
Do get with hot randomers
Do drink so much you fall asleep on the curb
Do get with a fit guy from Newcastle, and then get with his mate
Do get fit guys to “rub in your sun cream”
Do drink alcohol for breakfast
Do go topless
Do wear your sunglasses like a diva
Do put your alarm on to make sure you turn over for an even tan
Do dance on the bar
Do go out in “dress up” every night
Do hit BCM with a cause
Do play loud music at 10oclock in the morning
Do wear your shorts and bikini on the plane home
Do sing your heart out like your on X factor to “sex on the beach”


And a few Dont’s just to keep us all from foreign drunken sunburnt harm…

Don’t get pregnant
Don’t catch an STD
Don’t get so drunk in the airport that you miss your flight
Don’t lose your passport
Don’t go bowling with a sticky Spanish bloke
Don’t go “back to theirs”
Don’t take random foreign drugs
Don’t spend all your money
Don’t go with any asylum seekers
Don’t get third degree burns
Don’t fall asleep and wake up burnt
Don’t get arrested for being drunk and disorderly
Don’t get alcohol poisoning
Don’t burn your nipples


And a few general rules to keep the party going and in full swing...

No straying away from the group unless authorised to do so…eg FIT GUY.

Get Liz as wrecked as possible, till she cant stand up and declares she loves each*hic* and every one *hic* of us.

Realise that we will see far too much of Adele’s boobs.

Try draw on Lorens face whilst asleep…preferably a mouse face.

Steal Claire’s clothes when she rebels and goes skinny dipping.

Keep Becci in high spirits for fear of emotional tears which are booze influenced.

Always make Adele keep her shoes on. She will get glass in her feet. End of.

When Loren moans like a bitch, Push her in the pool. And if she carries on moanin lyk a bitch push her in again.

Insist that if Liz wont drink, she buys our rounds, seeing as its “only fair.”

Take pictures of Becci asleep and post on the internet.

Realise that when Claire says she NEEDS those 56 lipglosses, she means it.

Sneak into Liz and Becci’s room to steal their shoes/FOOD.


And remember girls.
What goes on in Magaluf…Stays in Magaluf.
Nuff said. Aiiiiightt!! Mwahahaha!!