I once new a girl, called herself Shirleen
livin in a perfect world, even the prom queen
i watched her unfurl into a beatiful teen
she was the pride and joy of her cheerleading team
she had it all at the tender age of eighteen
the life many envied, so many young girls' dream
but she experimented with drugs and became a coke fiend


it started with a needle and ended with a knife
the feeble minded whore who ended her life
hypordonic needles let endorphines shadow the strife
she sold her soul to satan that midsummer night
she knew deep inside that her parents were right
she did need help but she felt it easier to fight


it all started one night when she saw a curious scene
she walked into the toilet of a nightclub thinkin of freein'
her bladder, she only had intentions of peein
but what she saw made her choke on her breath
it was her best friend Hope injecting crystal meth
eyes wide with shock she took a forward step
she walked up to Hope, looked her in the eyes and said
"we stick together through everything, sickness and death
what did u think? that id rat u out to the Feds?
give me some of that shit, this party is dumb"
she pierced her skin and pushed the plunger down with her thumb
and in moments her whole body felt numb
they were both drugged up and looking for fun
her whole world buzzed and continually spun
she couldnt handle it all and she went down like the sun


it started with a needle and ended with a knife
the feeble minded whore who ended her life
hypordonic needles let endorphines shadow the strife
she sold her soul to satan that midsummer night
she knew deep inside that her parents were right
she did need help but she felt it easier to fight


she awoke the next morning not knowing what she had done
she had no idea she had concieved a son
she looked beside her and there lied satan
but in a flash she knew she was mistaken
beside her lay the man who had taken her virginity
she hit him till he awoke and screamed "what did you do to me"
he woke in a rage and beat her savagely
reached in her purse and stole her money
gave her a black eye and threw her ass out on the street
she was lost with no option but to weep
so she found herself a bench and took a seat
with her head in her hands she cryed like a fountain
she looked up at the sky in hope of guidance
but the only thing she saw was a burning trident


it started with a needle and ended with a knife
the feeble minded whore who ended her life
hypordonic needles let endorphines shadow the strife
she sold her soul to satan that midsummer night
she knew deep inside that her parents were right
she did need help but she felt it easier to fight


as the years passed by she proceeded to get high
settling on a drug which put her head up in the sky
but as time went by she soared lower and lower
but she also forgot the feeling of being sober
she fed her addiction by meeting new lovers
and in exchange for cash she gave them pleasures
all her time was consumed in her unlawful leisures
and all the time her forgotten son grew older and older
he had problems as did all drug-childs
he was known for his attitude, his temper was wild
by the time he was sixteen his mother brain was fried
but she turned up to support him on the day he was tried
turned out the boy fought and killed some guy
and by law she was ordered to comply
and act as guardian of this rebellious child
but he already knew that and awaited her with sigh
and he broke free the moment she arrived
he grabbed a pencil, ran up and stabbed her in the eye
"this is what u get for leaving me deprived,
of everything in my life that i ever had the need!"
he stood there watching his mother bleed
and was excecuted on the spot for his unthinkable deed


it started with a needle and ended with a knife
the feeble minded whore who ended her life
hypordonic needles let endorphines shadow the strife
she sold her soul to satan that midsummer night

bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.
j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.
j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They fucking charge your ass.
j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.
bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
j_gurli3: thats it.
bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now.


Bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
MommyMelissa: Sure, you into vegetables?
Bloodninja: What like gardening an ****?
MommyMelissa: Yeah, something like that.
Bloodninja: Nuthin turns me on more, check this out
Bloodninja: You bend over to harvest your radishes.
(pause)
MommyMelissa: is that it?
Bloodninja: You water your tomato patch.
Bloodninja: Are you ready for my fresh produce?
MommyMelissa: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me?
(pause)
Bloodninja: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... Sexily.
Bloodninja: I ride your buttocks, like they were amber waves of grains.
MommyMelissa: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis.
Bloodninja: my zucchinis carresses your carrots.
Bloodninja: Damn baby your right, this shit is HOT.
MommyMelissa: ...
Bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and
sticky cauliflower of love.
MommyMelissa: What the fuck is this madlibs? I'm outta here.
Bloodninja: Yah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't
see. Bitch.


Bloodninja: I lick your earlobe, and undo your watch.
Sarah19fca: mmmm, okay.
Bloodninja: I take yo pants off, grunting like a troll.
Sarah19fca: Yeah I like it rough.
Bloodninja: I smack you thick booty.
Sarah19fca: Oh yeah, that feels good.
Bloodninja: Smack, Smack, yeeeaahhh.
Bloodninja: I make some toast and eat it off your ass. Land O' Lakes butter all in your crack. Mmmm.
Sarah19fca: you like that?
Bloodninja: I peel some bananas.
Sarah19fca: Oh, what are you gonna do with those?
Bloodninja: get me peanuts. Peanuts from the ballpark.
Sarah19fca: Peanuts?
Sarah19fca: What are you talking about?
Bloodninja: I'm spent, I jump down into the alley and smoke a fatty. I throw rocks at the cats.
Sarah19fca: This is stupid.
Bloodninja: Stone Cold Steve Austin gives me some beer.
Bloodninja: Wanna Wrestle Stone Cold?
Bloodninja: Yeeaahhhh.
Sarah19fca: /ignore
Bloodninja: Its cool stone cold she was a bitch anyway.
Bloodninja: We get on harleys and ride into the sunset.



bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey...
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting

Guys' Rules...get it...
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down.
Finally, the guys' side of the story.
(I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear " the rules " from the female side.

>Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!

Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

>1. Men are NOT mind readers.

>1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

>1. Crying is blackmail.

>1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

>1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

>1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

>1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem .
See a doctor.

>1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

>1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

>1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

>1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

>1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it
yourself.

>1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say
during commercials.

>1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. (not true T.K)

>1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We
have no idea what mauve is.

>1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
nothing is wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

>1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

>1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
Really.

>1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

>1. You have enough clothes.

>1. You have too many shoes.

>1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

>1. Thank you for reading this.