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Adam Harvey
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Male, 24,
53
- from Currently in Tuakau, for how long I don't know...until I get stabbed I guess
- I am In a Relationship
- Profile views: 3,270
- Last active: 11/30/10
- www.bebo.com/HardonHarv
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- Me, Myself, and I
- Hi, im Adam, Hardon, Wingut and a flurry of other abusive names.
So time for an update...finished my first year of my degree at Auckland and the sea of Asians. Last semesters exams went well, and the goal of having a trophy wife living on Cliff Road is within my grasp.
I work as a cook on the weekends, and enjoy my job there giving the waitresses shit, and generally being the best thing on two legs to ever grace that place (In know Nic, I know)
I try to be the life of the group, always the one to shock and amaze with my loud mouth and abusive language. I have great mates, all of whom seem for some stupid reason to put up with my shit-you are awesome.
To conclude, I love hanging at the beach on a beautiful summers day publicising the fact that I am an albino, I love hitting the gym every chance I get, and generally getting on it with mates and clubbing it in town. So there you have it. Hi guys Im Adam, and yes I am an alcoholic! - Sounds
- Slipknot, Foo Fighters, Trivium, Marilyn Manson, 3 Days Grace, MCR, Mudvayne, ACDC, Guns and Roses, Techno, Old school shit that everybody knows.
- Films
- Anything aye...i watch far too movies far too often. ummm some like the 40 yr old virgin, the exorcist...(fuck that movies awesome), American pie...loads and loads....to any1 that hasnt seen the Poltergeist...u dont know what ur missing out on...that movie kicks ass so hard. Im also a sucker for war movies. Letters From Iwo Jima is one nasty ma-fucking movie
- Sports
- Ive been into soccer for so many years i cant remember. Im also a member of the Tuakau College chunder run team...look to the left if u dnt get it. I gym it mostly because Im so pushed for time
- Drinks
- Skrewdrivers in a funnel...AJ remembers lol. Im a real coffee fan too, but my heart tends not to like tht...long story. There is this amazing bright blue drink called HYPNOTIC- I urge you to try it..best thing i've ever put in my mouth!
- Happiest When
- Hanging with my mates, lapping up the sun at the beach in a deckchair with a beer and a cigar if its a special occasion (but as i have just realised with AJ every Friday night is a special occasion), Driving, Drinking up a storm in town...anything thats not sitting on the couch. Catching up with my brother Ethan is also a highlight as we don't live together, so a shout out to my lil' bro ET!
- Mates
- Just a quick shout out to all my mates (guys and girls) who have been there for me through the thick and the thin. To my other Mum Susan (Yes you so fucking love me), and my adopted family the McGill-Tobin's (you guys are awesome). To my best mate AJ...we have been friends half my life and I've always looked up to you...I'm gna miss our weekly drinking sessions! The Bros Allan (this guy is the man), Rory, Nathan, Brendan, Warrat, Aiden, Jake, Greg (you abusive little fucker), Mitch, Marleigh, T (Freight train), and all my other ATC mates, and last but not least my Autobahn people- Paul Jnr., Sophie, Anna, Sarah, Shinae, Nicola, Emma, Sammy, Lyd....you guys are all awesome people...for those that don't work there anymore....good on you for getting the fuck out...for those that put up with my smart ass attitude and bad language on a weekly basis...good on ya guys you are all awesome!
- Sayings
- Just a few of my favourite sayings:
'In primus honor'..Honour above all
'Carpe diem'...Sieze the day
Both of which will eventually get inked on my skin...when i get the balls and the cash to do so!
I think another really good one is...'fidelis ut prosapia pro infinito'...Loyal to family forever
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Funnies Drunken Moment- You chose
- Spewing down the side of the old ladies car passenger door
- Falling down a set of stairs...needless to say I have the scars to prove it
- Abusing some homeless bitch in the city and getting chased to the hotel
- New years at Allan Harris's- On the couch
- Or was it Rory's 17th- Fuck that was a mean effort- Sam will remember well
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THE STAGES OF A HANGOVER.....GOD HAVENT WE ALL BEEN THERE
Stage 1:
No pain. No real feeling of illness. You sleep in your own bed and when you wake up, there are no traffic cones in there with you.
You are still able to function relatively well on the energy stored up from all those vodka and Red Bulls. However, you can drink 10 bottles of water and still feel as parched as the Sahara.
Even dirty vegetarians crave a cheeseburger and a basket of fries.
Stage 2:
No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay but you have the attention span and mental capacity of a stapler.
The coffee you chug to try and remain focused is only exacerbating your rumbling gut, which is craving a full English breakfast.
Although you have a nice demeanor at the office, you are costing your employer valuable money because all you really can handle is some light filing, followed by aimlessly surfing the Net and writing junk e-mail.
Stage 3:
Slight headache. Stomach feels like crap.
Anytime someome walks by your desk you gag because the perfume/aftershave reminds you of the random shots you did with your alcoholic friends after the bouncer kicked you out at 4 a.m.
Life would be better right now if you were in your bed with a dozen doughnuts and a two-liter bottle of Coke, watching daytime TV.
You've had four cups of coffee, a 3litres of water, two pies, and a two-liter bottle of Diet Coke, yet you haven't peed once.
Stage 4:
You have lost the will to live. Your head is throbbing and you can't speak too quickly or else you might spew.
Your boss has already yelld at you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze.
You wore nice clothes, but you smell of socks and can't hide the fact that you missed an oh-so crucial spot shaving.
Your teeth have their own individual sweaters. Your eyes look like one big vein and your hairstyle makes you look like a reject from a second-grade class in 1976.
You scare small children in the street just by walking past them.
Stage 5:
You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying the employee sitting next to you.
Vodka vapor is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy.
You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth. At least u brushed your teeth.
Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva, so your tongue is suffocating you.
You'd cry but that would take the last drop of moisture left in your body.
Death seems pretty good right now. Your boss doesn't even get mad at you and your co-workers think that your dog just died because you look so pathetic.
You should have called in sick because, let's face it, all you can manage to do is breathe... very gently.
Stage 6:
You arrive home and collapse into bed.
You get about two hours of sleep until the noises inside your head wake you up.
You snuggle up to something, turns out you've brought home a couple of road cones.
No matter what you do now, you're going to vomit.
You stumble out of bed and now find that your room is in a yacht, fully sailing. After walking along the skirting boards on alternating walls, knocking off all the pictures, you mannage to find the toilet.
If you are lucky, you remember to lift the lid before you spontaneously explode and wake the whole house up with your impersonation of walrus mating calls.
You sit there on the floor in your undies, cuddling the only friend in the world you have left (the toilet), randomly continuing to make the walrus noises, spitting and farting. Help often comes at this stage.. but this is often a one man battle. Good luck0 Comments 278 weeks
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DEAR ALCOHOL
Dear Alcohol,
First & foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours.
As my friend, you always seem to be there when needed
The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around in the holidays, hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings.
However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences:
1. Phone Calls: While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you make me call those ex-boyfriends/girlfriends when I know for a fact they do not want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night?
2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you suggest that I eat a kebab, a butter chicken curry along with a sausage with cheese, onion and mustard (washed down with WINE) & topped off with a Kit Kat after a few sweet chilli and sour cream chips? I'm an eclectic eater, but think you went too far this time.
3.Clumsiness: Unless you're subtly trying to tell me that I need to do more yoga to improve my balance, I see NO need to hammer the issue home by causing me to fall down. It's completely unnecessary, and the black & blue marks that appear on my body mysteriously the next day are beyond me.
Similarly, it should never take me more than 45 seconds to get the front door key into the lock!!
4. Furthermore: The hangovers have GOT to stop. This is getting ridiculous. I know a little penance for our previous evening's debauchery may be in order, but the 3pm hangover immobility is completely unacceptable. My entire day is shot. I ask that, if the proper precautions are taken (water, vitamin B, bread products, aspirin) prior to going to sleep/passing out face down on the kitchen floor with a bag of popcorn, the hangover should be minimal & in no way interfere with my daily activities.
Alcohol, I have enjoyed our friendship for some years now & would like to ensure that we remain on good terms. You've been the invoker of great stories, the provocation for much laughter, and the needed companion when I just don't know what to do with the extra money in my pockets.
In order to continue this friendship, I ask that you carefully review my grievances above & address them immediately. I will look for an answer no later than Thursday 3pm (pre-happy hour) on your possible solutions & hopefully we can continue this fruitful partnership.
Thank you,
Your biggest fan
P.S. Things that are difficult to say when you're drunk...
a) Innovative
b) Preliminary
c) Proliferation
d) Cinnamon
Things that are VERY difficult to say when you're drunk...
a) Specificity
b) British Constitution
c) Passive-aggressive disorder
d) Transubstantiate
Things that are ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE to say when you're drunk...
a) Thanks, but I don't want to sleep with you.
b) Nope, no more booze for me.
c) Sorry, but you're not really my type.
d) No kebab for me, thank you.
e) Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight?
f) I'm not interested in fighting you.
g) Oh, I just couldn't - no one wants to hear me sing.
h) Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no co-ordination. I'd hate to look like a fool.
I) Where is the nearest toilet? I refuse to vomit in the street.
j) I must be going home now as I have work in the morning
2 Comments 302 weeks
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BABY JOKES
Rightfully Stolen off Mitch...Hope you enjoy.....
What's more fun than feeling up a dead baby? Feeling up a dead baby with three nipples
How do you make a dead baby float?
Take your foot off of it's head.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?
When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off
What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag
What's purple, covered in pus and squeals? A peeled baby in a bag of salt.
What's the difference between a bucket of gravel and a bucket of baby guts? You can't gargle gravel.
What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.
Why do you stick a baby in the blender feet first? So you can see the expression on its face!
What's present do you get for a dead baby? A dead puppy.
What is pink and red and sits in a corner?
A baby chewing on razor blades.
What is green and sits in a corner? The same baby, six weeks later.
0 Comments 308 weeks
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My result is: Happily Hammered
Put a little alcohol into you, and suddenly you’re transformed into little miss sunshine! You love everybody, laugh constantly, and become the life of the party. Nothing can bring you down, and while you may seem a little bit silly to the more sober members of the crow, you could care less. Whether it’s breaking it down on the dance floor, kicking butt at Texas Hold’em, or flirting with the person next to you, you emanate fun and lack of inhibition.
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yu so needa get new pictures, and i was not a rude bitch lol
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