How can Beauty be a sin? IS BEAUTY NOT WHAT MAKES LIFE worth living?
I was walking in my garden the other day - actually i was walking on a street in Pensacola Florida - and the day was broght and the air was clear. i had an impulse to say the day was beautiful, but i knew better, for i have known the tricks and masks that beauty wears.
The sunny day, blue sky and the brisk breeze created the illusion that all was well. That the sewage treatment plant was no longer pumping its sludge and toxic wastes into the bay, that the lawyer behind the door of his office was engaged in the pursuit of justice. That the tanker anchored down the street was loading and unloading goods that were honestly made. Beauty masks the Truth of the Matter. The rotting corpse lies waiting under an impressive work of funerary art.
Beauty is deception, falsification and deceit! BUYER BEWARE!

- The New Sins

BEWARE: contains strong language that may confuse you! a lot! lol! but read it neway and leave a comment!

Chapter 1

I, the cabbage man, chose to farm pandas with Max. Max has a ugly willy, which explains why he’s minging! Trudy exploded with gas trapped by a butt plug. Max is dead!

Chapter 2

Edward must fart on Israel joyfully! Debra has spinach on her belly button fluff. Mickey mouse believes that sex can heighten his sperm count. Jam tastes mouldy when rotting!

Chapter 3

Beach time with Jack smells cheesy. He sucks cock because radish isn’t as tasty. BWM wants Kelly. Foil smells metally, however Verity likes eggy penises. Scatter graphs walked around looking retardidly at Simon. He laughs accusingly with BWM.

Chapter 4

Testosterone levels increased Anne’s boner which is small. Claire boogies with leaves. Mike wishes Michelle wanked him. Leaf. Verity gasped BLEH! Chris should take drugs with Ombeline and fuck Mr. Towel in the ear hole, while eating baguettes in H-Amsterdam.

Chapter 5

Dave wrestled Sally whilst masturbating busily a vicar. Fractions contain decimals which annoys really crunchy llamas. I eat frisbees whilst picking Jack-the-rippers nose. Chris has a big ....... conker. Penis smells rankly cheesely gorgeous with red strawberries that expired yonks later when Ombeline ripped a condom accidentally and got pregnant!

Chapter 6

Picasso is spastic compared against leeches. Chrisaline died painfully while chocking on penis which festered with termites. Steve me-an-whore has doughnuts on Kelly's head as his big toe spontaneously combusted! Spinach on the moon floats like "Hannah get on with your work, you'll make yourself ill". BLEH!

Chapter 7

Carpet porn is great to wank over when you have dominatrix sex. Claire is married to a vicar. Sperm flies from clouds when God is feeling horny, because Jesus got naked with mike's mum and verity has a small......... Ego, which portrays verity as a womanising slagy egotistical monk. Snot covered fish tastes like rainbow toop soup. YUMMY!

Chapter 8

DUCK!

Chapter 9

Hairy Pinacoladas are sexy when the muffin merchant uses lubrication to spank Godzilla! Homm/Homophobia causes aids symptoms which morph thoroughly into frogs. Jack's painting muscles which turns verity lesbian. Ockenden loves Ockenden Family Enterprises. Quentin has a retarded foreskin which contracts when he tells Verity to get out of his house. Simon strips every Sunday on a big roundabout in Tottenham, whilst dancing the macarena slowly.

Chapter 10 (it's the last one! wa Wa WA! sniff sniff!)

A miracle happened and resurrected ugly panda farmer Max when Kelly read a book called 'Little Lamb on the Hybrine' which was written in tongues. Tragically Max was alive. But then we all decided that he should be sacrificed for the sake of that cutey wooty, baby waby Chrisaline. Sadly whilst joyriding a big green bus, she crashed and horribly died making the passenger Hannah go flying into a fire hydrant. The fire hydrant exploded and then caused the world to implode, so every single living thing in the whole wide world died. Except Kelly, Mike and Verity who lived to tell this magical story! woo! go us!

THE END! It's over! Done! No more! Bye!

..........BUT WAIT!......... lol Xmas chapter cumin soon! tehe!

By Kelly Wareham, Mike Wyatt and Verity oky-doodle! tehe!

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