well my parents moved to QLD!! in 2007!! and left me here to study yr 12!! and although im grateful they did it im also not!! i learnt a lot of things in that year!! ive realised i couldnt do everything that i wanted to do!! its just to much for one person!! 2008 is a brand new year for me!! ive gotten off my arse and made something of myself!! my VCE results werent what i wanted!! but thats ok!! im doin a tafe couse in horsham!! aged care and community care!! a lot of fun!! im working at the local video shop!! im also working at the hospital up in the kitchen!! ive got my own car lol i just need to get my p's hopefull in the nxt couple of weeks!! and ive just got my own place!!! and i own everything in it!! it may not be brand new!! but it works and is in good nic!! ive done so much for myself since january!! and i am so proud of mysefl!! things are finally looking up and im standing on my own two feet!!! i would have to owe a lot of it to my nan for giving me a hand and getting me off my arse!! i would also have to owe it to my man!! he has shown me so much!! and i lovre him with all my heart!!! if it wasnt for him i would still be jumping to peoples command but because of him i am standing up for myspeft and doing my own things!!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!

i dont know what is goin on wit me?? i have awesome friends awesome boyfriend my parents are back together, we are buying a house and moving! i dont feel right at all!!! it sucks!! i think i might repeat year 11!! and im sayin this myself with noones influence!! ppl will think im crazy!! but i have to think of my future!! with the results i got in my exams this semester i am gonna have no hope they were bad!! and i need good marks for later on!! this is pissin me off!! at leastr i will be with nadie next year!! while dory and tamoza go into year 12!! it scares me but at least wen i get to yr 12 i will have my p's!! i dont know!! im sooo confused!! i feel empty!!l ike nothing is happeneing and im justy doing wat ppl say following orders and living for them and not me!! it frustrates me!! idont know!! im moving to buleah!! my rents brought a house there!! vietnam isnt happening anymore cos they guy went brioke!! so i have to move out on a farm in buleah!! which is gonna suck cos now nadie is livin in warrack and not buleah!! arrggghh!!! my old best friend is tellin me she is in love with me and i dont know what to do?? like she is a friend and i think thats it!! and all it ever will be!! my dad and my nan dont talk at all anymore so now we have to move form our house becasue my nan wants to move back in here!! im soo pissed off cant they see all the feelings that they ar hurting but then again its all about them!! me and mel have lessons with the elders of our church and they want us to get baptised i mean i do but i dont i do becasue it is what my grandad wanted and i dont ecasue of my friends allthough alot of them support it a lot of them dont! and my parents wont let me!! i could only do it if it was me and mel together!! i dont think i could do it on my own!! i just feel like shit right now!! i have to go back to school tomoz!! and i really dont want to!! i wanty to see a lot of ppl but at the same time i dont!! i havent heard from my friends at all!! for the whoole holidays which makes me want to question weather or not they are my friends?? sorry that i dont live in town but you could still include me in stuff!! maybe its better off this way!! i need to focus on my study and not my friends thats if i have any left!! these whole holidays i have been stuck in brim!! babysitting my brothers!! the whole time i was gone for two nights ova the whole two weeks!! i went to mandas party one night got up early the next day to go to melb to see to important ppl in my life right now!! mat and mel!! look guys if you read this i love you both soo much!! they have helped me so much and both know what im goin through cos tehy live wit my nan!! which must be hard!! but last night wen i was lyin in bed trying to go to sleep i had to think to myslef wat am i doin?? i have to forget my plan wen my parents need something done!! like these hols!! i wasnt able to go to melb to see my cousin which i wont ssee till christma now cos she is goin to darwin!! becasue they needed me to babysit!! wen i was friedns wit manique!! and i used to stay at her house which is down the road from mine!! thya used to ring me up and ask me to come home to hang out a load of washing!! wen both my rents were there and i have three younger brothers!! i mean wat type of life is that!!
i think i have made this sufficently long to put you all to sleep my bitching about things will do that to!! love yas all you mean a lot to me to much you will ever know!!!
~*Ezza*~
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well a fear of mine came true about two weeks ago i lost daniel! we broke up!! oh well for now im fine! i wasnt wen it first happened but it doesnt faze me as much now i would rather be friends but i do miss the way he made me smile and the way we could talk for hours and not run out of things to say! but oh well.....and no hobba im not one of those girls that goes to partys and sleeps with all the guys there just thought i would clarify that!
so yea!! anyway im out
luff me<3
~*Ezza*~
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