It never hurts to say you're sorry, even if you don't mean it.

Every woman is self-conscious about her ass. Tell her you love her ass and you’ll see it more often.

On a first date, women never order what they really want to eat.

Gain her trust when you’re out by calling her at 10 P.M. She’ll go to bed content you’re thinking of her, even if you’re slurping Jell-O shots off some skank’s cleavage.

At least one of her friends wants to sleep with you.

If you want more sex, tell your girl an attractive woman hit on you that day.

The more piercings she has, the more places she’ll let you put it.

Any good woman will tell ya, honesty is not always the best policy.

Don't take a woman to a concert you really want to see—she'll just want to leave early.

Ugly girls like to hang out with pretty girls because it makes them feel like they're more attractive. Pretty girls hang out with ugly girls for the same reason.

The minute she decides she’s even mildly interested in you, she starts making mental pictures of what your kids would look like and imagining her first name with your last.

Dated a stripper? Keep your mouth shut, stupid.

Buying a present for your girl? She’ll hate it (and you) if she finds out you took along another woman to help pick it out.

She hates your Xbox more than she lets on. Blow her off for some gaming and she’ll soon stop wasting time on a dork like you.

Women always want to believe what you’re saying is true.

The threesome is not about you; it’s about the two girls. If you’re lucky enough to score one with your girlfriend, enjoy sex with the other one because there’s a good chance it’ll end the relationship.

Most women will not have sex for the first time with a guy unless their legs are shaved. If your date shows up and you spot stubble, she’s trying to keep herself in line.

No matter how much she reassures you, if you can’t get a hard-on she assumes you’re not attracted to her.

The sight of you in your socks and underwear is the biggest turnoff in the world.

Never trust a girl who has no girlfriends. She doesn’t get along with other women because she’s either bat-shit crazy or just plain mean.

Girls who say, “I love sports!” are lying. Girls who ask you what time the game is on, without specifying which game they’re talking about, are not.

She still has all the love letters and cards from her past boyfriends.

Just started dating? Women want you to drive, even if it’s their car.

Laying a towel down over the wet spot is like putting your jacket over a mud puddle for her, you noble bastard.


Never trust the woman who gives you the best blow job you’ve ever had.

Women who are obsessed with their dogs also like to keep their men on a short leash.

Over the course of her life, a woman will use 10 men for every one she loves. If you lent her your car or helped her move and didn't get laid, you're one of the 10.

If you have something to hide, she’ll find it.

Kiss her before two dates have gone by or you’ll be “friended.”

They can't live without tension. Every once in a while she's gonna pick a fight with you for no reason. Accept this as a running, inevitable theme and your relationship will make a lot more sense.

The most painless way to end an argument: Let her win.

When a woman tells you her problems, she does not want you to offer solutions.

Women often cite manhandling of breasts as the biggest foreplay faux pas.

Don’t call her “cute.” In her mind it’s the same as “not vomit-inducing.” “Sexy,” OK. “Hot,” yes. “Fucking awesome,” only if she’s at least slightly buzzed.

Women often buy shoes a size or two small because they’re in denial about the size of their feet—which they can’t stand.

Women know where they stand looks-wise but worry about being considered cool, about which they’re unsure.

add a point for every thing below that u have done!!!

If you go over 45, you're a bad influence.

1. smoked- Yes
2. consumed alcohol- Yes
3. slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex- Yes
4. slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex- Yes
5. kissed someone of the same sex- Yes
6. had sex- Yes
7. had someone in your room other than family- Yes
8. watched porn- Yes
9. bought porn- Yes
10. done drugs- Yes
TOTAL: 10

1. taken painkillers- Yes
2. taken someone else's prescription medicine- Yes
3. lied to your parents- Yes
4. lied to a friend- Yes
5. snuck out of the house- Yes
6. done something illegal - Yes
7. cut yourself- Yes
8. hurt someone- Yes
9. wished someone to die- Yes
10. seen someone die- Yes : (
TOTAL: 10

1. missed curfew- Yes
2. stayed out all night- Yes
3. eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself- Yes
4. been to a therapist- Yes
5. been to rehab- Yes Kinda
6. dyed your hair- Yes
7. received a ticket- Yes
8. been in an accident - Yes : (
9. been to a club- Yes : )
10. been to a bar- Yes
T0TAL: 10

1. been to a wild party- FUK YEAH
2. seen the Mardi Gras- Yes
3. drank more than 10 alcholic drinks in a night- HELL YEAH
4. been to schoolies- YEPP
5. sniffed anything- Yes
6. wore black nail polish- Yes
7. wore arm band- Yes
8. wore t-shirts with band names - Yes
9. listen to rap- Yes
10. own a 50 Cent CD- Yes a few
TOTAL: 10

1. dressed gothic - Yes
2. dressed prep- Yes
3. dressed punk- Yes
4. dressed grunge- Yes
5. stole something- Yes Plenty
6. been too drunk to remember anything- HELL YEH
7. blacked out- Yepp
8. Nearly O.D or did- Yess
9. had a crush on your neighbor - Yeah
10. had someone sneak into your room- haha Yeah
TOTAL: 10

1. snuck into someone else's room- Yes
2. had a crush on your best friend- Mmm Yeh
3. been to a concert - Yes
4. dry-humped someone- Yes lol
5. been called a slut - Yepp
6. called someone a slut- Yes
7. installed speakers in your car- Yes
8. broken a mirror- PLENTY
9. showered at someone of the opposites sex's house- Yes
10. brushed your teeth with someone else's toothbrush - Shame Yes
TOTAL: 10

1. consider/considered Ludacris your favorite rapper- yeahh kinda
2. seen an R-rated movie in theater- yes
3. cruised the mall- yes
4. skipped school- yes of course
5. had surgery- nah
6. had an injury- yepp
7. gone to court- yepp fukin doggs
8. walked out of a restaraunt without paying- haha yeah got chased up the street
9. caught something on fire- yes burnt myself lol
10. lied about your age- haha yeah who doesnt
TOTAL: 9

1. owned an apartment- nope
2. broke the law in the police's presence- yes fuk those piggers
3. cheated with someone- Yeahh regret it though
4. got in trouble with the police- yes
5. talked to a stranger- yes heaps
6. hugged a stranger- haha yeh
7. kissed a stranger- umm yeah
8. rode in the car with a stranger- yeah
9. been harassed- yes
10. been verbally harassed- yepp
TOTAL: 10

1. met face-to-face with someone you met online- yeahh but I knew them through mates
2. stayed online for 12 hours straight- haha yeah
3. talked on the phone for more than 4 hours straight- yepp
4. watched TV for 12 hours straight- ummm dunno
5. been to a fair- yeah
6. been called a bad influence- yepp evry1’s parents called me that
7. drink and drive- yepp I guess that means im a bloddy idiot ayy haha
8. prank-called someone- heaps
9. laid on a couch with someone of the opposite sex- yeahh
10. cheated on a test- YeS
TOTAL: 10

1. cheated on homework- yes
2. held hands with someone of the same sex- yeah all the tym
3. been pushed into a pool- yeah
4. played pool- yeah
5. watched 5 hours of MTV straight- yepp nearly evrydayy had that shit blastin
6. had a crush on someone 5 years older than you- yeahh who hasnt
7. had a crush on someone younger than you- noooo lil boizz Ewww lol
8. worn eyeliner- evry

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