In 2003, a North Carolina State University study of over 15,000 women found that women who performed the act of fellatio and swallowed semen on a regular basis - one to two times a week - reduced their risk of breast cancer by up to 40 percent. No benefit was found for those who did not participate regularly.

In addition to reducing risk of breast cancer, semen was shown to reduce the length and severity of common colds, soothes a sore throat, and even manage depression!

"Only with regular occurrence will your chances be reduced, so I encourage all women out there to make fellatio an important part of their daily routine," said Dr. Helena Shifteer, one of the researchers at the University. "Since the emergence of the research, I try to fellate at least once every other night to reduce my chances."

1, Who are you?
2, Are we friends?
3, When and how did we meet?
4, Do you have a crush on me?
5, Would you kiss me?
6, Give me a nickname and say why u chose it?
7, Describe me in one word?
8, What was your first impressions of me?
10, What reminds you of me?
11, If you could give me anything wot wud it be?
12, How well do you know me?
13, Ever wanted to tell me sumat that you couldnt?
14, If you were asked wud you go out wiv me?
15, wat do u h8 most bou me ?
16, what u like most bout me?
17, best memory u have wit me?

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know
where my watch is pal, where the fuck is yours? Do I point at my Crotch when
I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room
for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the
channel manually.

3. When people say, "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too".
Fucking right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is.
Why the fuck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do
this? Who and where are they?

5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No tosser, I
paid 10 quid to come to the cinema and stare at the fucking floor.

6. People who ask, "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give me a
choice there, did you sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then
there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there
must have been something before it.

8. When people say, "life is short". What the fuck? Life is the longest damn
thing anyone ever fucking does!! What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come
yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, Knob head?

10. People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used to be'. So
what did they used to be? Ears, Wellington boots?

11. When you're eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?' No it's
really revolting - I always eat stuff I hate.

12. People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that's an image
I really didn't need.

13. McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you if you don't
insert the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering... It has to be a McChicken
Burger; just a Chicken Burger gets blank looks. Well I'll have a McStraw and
jam it in your McEyes you McFucking McTosser.

14. When you're involved in a accident and someone asks 'are you all right?'
Yes fine thanks, I'll just pick up my limbs and be off.