there once was a girl called cooper

she was a fucking looper

she lost the plot

and ate her snot

and then it came out in her pooper

with love...

dunner

>
>1. "Sure, there have been deaths in boxing, but none of them
>serious."
>(Alan Minter)
>
>2. "And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch
>this
>morning and it was amazing ! "
>(Pat Glenn - weightlifting commentator)
>
>3. "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Darryl Gibson comes inside
>of
>him."
>(New Zealand rugby commentator Murray Mexted)
>
>4. "This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother."
>(Ted Walsh - horse racing commentator)
>
>5. "I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of
>my body."
>(Winston Bennett)
>
>6. "The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one
>behind it,
>which is identical."
>(Murray Walker - F1 racing commentator)
>
>7. "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my father and
>mother."
>(Greg Norman)
>
>8. "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect
>the same thing again."
>(Terry Venables - Soccer Coach)
>
>9. "I would not say that David Ginola is the best left
>winger in the Premiership, but there are none better."
>(Ron Atkinson - soccer coach)
>
>10. "Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge
>president is kissing the cox of the Oxford crew."
>(Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977)
>
>11. "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got
>eleven Dicks on the field"
>(Metro Radio)
>
>12. "Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seems to
>hang in the air for even longer."
>(David Acfield)
>
>13. "What will you do when you leave football, Jack. Will
>you stay in football?"
>(Stuart Hall Radio 5 live)
>
>14. "And there goes Juantorena down the back straight,
>opening his legs and showing his class."
>(David Coleman at the Montreal Olympics)
>
>15. "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so
>well is that before each tee shot, his wife takes out his
>balls and kisses them....Oh My God! What have I just
>said?!!!"
>(US PGA Commentator)
>
>16. "For those of you who are watching in black and white,
>the blue is behind the brown."
>(Ted Lowe, Snooker commentator)
>
>17. True story... a female news anchor who, the day after it
>was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the
>weatherman and
>asked...
>
>"So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"
>
>... Not only did he have to leave the set, but half the crew
>did too as they were laughing so hard!
>
>18."He's just smashed the world record, this is >unbelievable!!!what is he doing? he's still going. oh wait
> there's still another lap to go."

The following steps are extremly vital for the completion of the ultimate tangle twister - ice-cream to lolly-pop process.

***WARNING*** DO NOT BITE THE PRODUCT AT ANY STAGE
This is the only way tangle twisters should be eaten.

STEP 1. REMOVE THE WRAPPER (OBVIOUSLY)

STEP 2. BEGIN THE LICKING OF THE ICE-CREAM OR WHITE PART PROCESS-STARTING FROM THE TOP AND SLOWLY WORKING YOUR WAY DOWN

STEP 3. ON REACHING THE BOTTOM THE SOFTENING PROCESS HAS BEGUN, IT IS NOW TIME TO REPEAT STEP 2 BUT WORKING FROM THE BOTTOM UP

******REMINDER WARNING - DO NOT BITE THE PRODUCT AT ANY STAGE******

STEP 4. NOW, RETURN TO THE BOTTOM AND BEGIN THE "EXTRACT THE WHITE PART" PHRASE. THIS IS ACHIEVED BY SUCKING THE NOW SOFTENED ICE-CREAM FROM BETWEEN THE GREEN PART.

STEP 5. ENSURE THAT THERE IS ONLY GREEN AND RED ICE POP IS LEFT... WELL DONE!THIS IS THE ICE-POP STAGE!

STEP 6. IT IS NOW TIME TO CONTINUE LICKING IN A CLOCKWISE OR ANTI CLOCKWISE (DEPENDING ON DIRECTION OF THE SWIRL) MOTION, ENSURING THERE IS A DEFINATE SPLIT BETWEEN THE TWO COLOURS.

STEP 7. THE ICE-POP SHOULD NOW BE ALMOST GONE FROM BOTH THE TOP AND BOTTOM OF THE STICK. IT IS NOW TIME TO **SLOWLY** MOVE THE REMAINING ICE-POP TO THE TOP OF THE STICK, IF THIS IS PUSHED TO FAST IT WILL FALL OFF AND THE WHOLE PROCESS WILL BE RUINED.

STEP 8. ONCE THE ICE-POP IS SECURELY IN PLACE AT THE TOP OF THE STICK....PAT YOURSELF ON THE BACK...YOU HAVE ACHIEVED THE THIRD AND FINAL STAGE - THE LOLLY-POP STAGE.

STEP 9. COMPLETE THE LICKING PROCESS OF THE LOLLY-POP UNTIL ALL THAT REMAINS IS THE WOODEN HOLDING STICK.


*****DO NOT BITE THE PRODUCT AT ANY STAGE*****