so, i haven't written in a long tyme.......so much has changed in my life first of all i'm neva well rarley am i eva depressed about anything so that's a good thing........i don't go to faith anymore and i really miss that church to death it seems like we always leave churches just when we get connected so i go to northview now......it's o.k. i guess it could neva be faith........but, i mainly miss all the people like i barley ever talk to my bestest friend in the whole world bekah.....she has no idea what so ever how much i miss her she's like makes me complete i kno that sounds weird but it's true i need jesus, bekah, my mom, and my siblings so it's like 25% of me is missing so yea sometime i feel lost with out her but the farther we are apart that's how close our hearts will always be with eachother o.kaay i kno i'm gettin mushy and i'm writing one big sentance neway that's all i'm going to type.

haven''t written in a while because, I have been so busy.

anyway just decided to write don't really have much to talk about well I do but I really don't so i'll talk to you guys later.

well, I haven't written in here for a while but that's ok.

anyway it seem's like every thing in my life is going wrong i kno it's not true. but, it really does seem like it.

I mean it finally hit me on wensday that pastor al and julie are gone there really living us. I don't know I guess something inside of me kept telling me that maybe God will change his mind about what he wants them to do. And they'll stay with us. but, I was just being selfish. I guess it's because it takes me awhile to get attached to people like emotionally and actually love them. and I really do love pastor al and julie like my own mom and dad. Cause, i never really had a dad but, pastor al showed me that there are good fathers out there. and i looked at him as if he was my own kinda funny hon. but, if it wasn't for him being a good father material i probaly wouldn't love God as much as I do.

anyway I'm kinda over them leaving because, i know that it's just for the best. yea well,

i have to go now not really finished telling all about how my life is falling apart though lol

see ya.