Everybody has sumthin goin on in there lives, but I think I have 2 much goin on and nobody 2 turn 2. I’m so hurt and confused and lost. My family is sooo fucked up right now. My mother is having so many health problems, it’s not funny. Now she’s taking meds for high blood pressure. I think that’s caused by the stress her shitty ass land lord puts her through and my dad. She lives in a VERY bad neighborhood, she doesn’t have the money to pay 4 heating so she sleeps with heaters around her bed, just barely has any food in her house, and she could be bringin in around a thousand dollars every paycheck but only gets around 400$ thnx to the child support check sent here 2 the crib. It’s so amazing, and a blessing from God, that she is still alive living in that area. Did I mention she has mice in her house? Yeah, and she’ll face the devil but she don’t fuck wit mice. My father is such an intelligent man. As of late, however, I’ve been seeing a different side of him. A side I haven’t seen since I as little. He hurt his back a while ago and it’s hard 4 him to work, to do the thing he loves most, fix cars. He’s been doin it since he as 11 and now it’s nothing but a burden. He comes home lookin so disappointed saying,” I just can’t do it anymore.” It hurts to see that look on his face. He is also fightin another battle, that little to my knowledge, has been going on since I was a child. My dad is on drugs. And no he doesn’t sniff it, we found that out when my lil bro. found a burnt spoon in the bathroom. We knew he doing drugs, but not anything that serious. Always asking me 4 hundreds on top of hundreds of dollas, when I was workin, and now I know where it’s all gone. He even used the child support money, which is about 400 dollars every otha week, and spends it. Never any food in the house cause he messes up the money. And if that wasn’t enough, now him and my “step-mom” are fighting. He loves her so much, and I can see it in his eyes, and she loves him back but because of his “addiction” they keep fighting. I say “addiction” because he says it not an addiction but a choice. So he chooses drugs over his family? A bunch of make-ups and break ups. He used to smile and walk with his head up, now he can’t even look me, his son, in the eyes. He is the reason why I take such n interest with Batman, but that’s a different story. And there’s my best friend, Alexzandria. When I met her, she was so beautiful and still is but so much has changed. She used to be full of passion and love. She is a great writer, read her poetry and tell me u didn’t cry. So artistic and caring and determined to live a better life. I don’t know wat happened to all of that. I don’t know wat she wants out of life no. She stays in the street and that’s all ima tell ya cause I don’t want to tell her business. It worries me knowin she out there but apparently she has no problem with it. We were supposed to be hangin out and chillin and makin plans to take over the world. Now I barely hear from her and when I do, we stay on the phone for 5-10 min MAX and then it’s the same thing,” Myles, lemme call you right back.” She doesn’t call back. I don’t know y. So I wonder, y cant she come see me then? Wat could she possibly be doin that’s so important that she cant come see the one person she says is her best friend? Isnt your best friend the one person u hang out wit the most, besides ur bf or gf? Everytime she does call me, she’s either going to or leaving from some club or party or sumones house. So she has no problem making plans wit them, but not with me? I’m not even sure who shes hangin out wit, seeing how everybody she seems to meet either lies to her or tries to hurt her, but apparently that’s not the case if she still talks and hangs wit them. Or maybe I’m the crazy 1 for not trusting lairs. I don’t know, LITERALLY SHIT, about her anymore except the guy she’s dating and I only kn

I don’t know where your heart is now
or if you still feel for me like I do for you
However MY Heart is still in your hands.
And I realized recently that I’m still in love with you.
Every night I would read our poems that we wrote together
and the ones I wrote that you inspired so beautifully.
You always stayed in my mind, my heart and soul.
And I often wonder if you're happy without me
I love you and you don’t have to say it back if you don’t want to
but I’m jus so...
So in love with you I don't know what to do.
And I will never stop loving you.
See I couldn’t allow myself to fall in love with another woman
because I’m still hooked by the heart to you
and I want to be the one to make your wish for happiness come true.
Even if you don’t choose
to be with me in the end,
ma feelings are here, and will never die.
Ma heart has been on fire for you
and the fire never died and never will, girl I ain't neva lie.
I love you that much, that even when I die
my love for you
will carry into
another hundred years of ma next lifetime
I jus... Can’t help how I feel about u.
U make me go crazy in giddiness like a lil 12 yr old kid.
Because whenever you speak to me
I'm imagining butterflies fluttering
in the midst of an immaculate garden
As a harp plays in the background
the theme tune for every fantasy
Because the feeling I get when I talk to you
just seems so unreal to me.
Because you make me so happy
that I feel like superman
emotionally
physically
so much so that nothing of any level of negativity
can affect me.
That's how you make me feel...
And I can't help it.
I'm in love, God is Love
so love is truly real
no matter how UNreal
it may seem.

My Husband= Nigga i'll beat yo azz
My wife= We'll See
My mom= Sharon
My dad= Johnathan
My twin= The Joker
My big sis= Shante' and Jamie
My lil sis= C.R.E.A.M. Numba #1
My big bro= Donny & Brandon
My lil bro= Josh & Jevon
My daughter= funny
My son= funny
My BoyFriend= keep playin
My GirlFriend= gone
My crying buddy= she aint never round
My people that love me= Family,steve,alex,shakina,ashley & fam, etc.
My home dawg= gone
My jackass star= Donny
My biotchys= My lil bros.
My super-tard= My Nephew
My slitch= ?
My drama queen= Ariel
My bodyguard= Me and Alex
My gangsta= Errbody I roll wit
My rapper= Donny
My dance patner= Dont have one, had enough of dancin
My enemy= He know who he is "King" Los, nigga please takin my shit
My sexy= gone
My emo= Alexandria (White gurl)
My hugger= My bed
My goth= Kosei
My gay shopping buddy= uuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhh
My shopping buddy= My bros.
My clubbing buddy= LB AND Jamie!!!!!!
My teacher= 2 Many 2 name
My stuffed animal= Left behind
My pillow= Cold and fluffy
My pet= NEMO!!!!!!
My long lost sis= In Ohio
My long lost bro= None
My othr half= She took me off as her otha half, in half-less

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