So I'm starting this cause so many awesome people are saying so many awesome thing and I want to keep track of all my brilliantly witty or accidentally hilarious peoples

Just so you know the first five was a weekend I spent in Edinburger with my American cousins so the random ones that maybe don't seem funny, say them in your head with an american accent

-----------------------------------------------------

1. TRAIN CONDUCTOR "We are now stopping at Leuchers"
DAVID (My ten year old cousin) "Did he just say drink a lot of liquors?!"

2. LILLY "Butter wouldn't melt in my mouth"
DAVID "Why, cause you're so cold?"

3. DAVID "What's an emo?"
VON "They're kinda like emu's but with three legs"
DAVID "Oh."

4. **Lilly is falling off her bed** "Oh my gawd. I'M GONNA DIE!!"

5. DAVID "You're being a real shit-bitch-wad!"

6. VON "I hope it doesn't rain cause the hair is straight"
MUM "What, unlike it's owner?"

7. VON "Mum, you were flailing around like a tit!"
DAD "Yeh but it wasn't as fannyesque as when you did it"

8. VON "I look like such a dyke with this pint...I'm going home to a woman. I'm allowed to look like a dyke!!"

9. VON "He fucked me and didnt' make me come - He owes me a drink!"

10. LUCY "See, that confuses me - It's a dog... Why is it not human?!"

11. GAV (the bro) "See none of that would've happened if she'd just fucked him at the start"
VON "Yeh but then there wouldn't have been a film"
GAV "Yeh there would! It'd just be called something like Hocus Poke You"

12. KIRSTY "I miss you. Like a fat kid loves cake!"

13. VON "I look like such a gay woman"
GIZMO "You are a gay woman!!"
VON "...Oh yeh"
**Jodie walks away looking scared**

14. VON "You had sex in a closey?!"
FABIO "Yeh but we stopped cause we heard someone coming"
GIZMO "Yeh they probably heard someone coming too"

15. VON "Ach he spent all his money on drunk and drigs!"

16. GIZMO "I'm a humban being. Not a yum-yum!"

17. YOSHI "I like him. He has friendly eye-brows."

18. VON "My sanny does not grow fideways!!"

19. GIZMO "Where's the door handle?!?!"
VON "On the other side of the door dear."

20. VON "I can't even say boo to a goose never mind spread my legs and say 'DO ME' to my girlfriend!!"

21. **Gav flails**
EWAN "What the fuck kind of coconuts are you throwing?!"
GAV "Tinned coconuts."

22. VON "So what did we gain from our experience today? What did we learn?"
MORGAN "Well, we learned that my reactions are shit and that you are a ninja"

23. POCAHONTAS "I'll always be with you. Forever."
GAV "Yes. Everytime you break wind, it'll be my voice going PARP!"

24. VON "Is that the one when the guy gets tortured?"
KIRSTY "No it's the one where the guy gets **Grabs own head** BZZT!"

25. VON "Well done! You're clever"
FUZZ "No, I'm Lilly" (Lilly is two years old [I nicknamed her Fuzz])

26. KIRSTY "Is it okay with you if I put ham in the salad?" (Kirsty is holding chicken)

27. VON "Hmm...Needs more cock, said the lesbian to the gay!"

28. VON "Would you like a muffin?"
KIRSTY "Nah it's too chocolatey" (Kirsty ate a whole chocolate bar just five minutes ago)

29. GIZMO "Ooooh I want that!"
VON "The waitress or the pudding?"
GIZMO "Both. I want some waitress smeared on my pudding!"

30. VON "Wow, I've never seen you wearing all one colour. Especially not a dark one."
KIRSTY "I look like a giant JOBBIE!!"

31. PAULA "Ouch my rib bones hurt!"
CLAIRE "Paula, your ribs are bones."
PAULA "Oh...Why?"

32. VON "So Tiff told me today that I'm too analy retentive."
JENKS "What does that mean?"
LUCAS "Oh it's when you keep re-tenting in your ass."

33. (While watching a hockey match)
VON "Hey what period are we in?"
MUM "This is the third half."

34. ALEX "Hey look! The heat's made my spoon go all culry!" (Alex is holding a fork)

35. (Casually eating on our lunch break)
VON "Paula just gave me a snider"
SUSAN "OH SHE WANTS TAE SPANK YA!!"

36. VON "So

I also pilfered this idea from ruaridhkins so cheers again!
Copy n Paste in into a comment and if you don't answer question 4 with a yes I will be very depressed Don't do that to me! Please!

1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. Do you have a crush on me?
5. Have you ever wanted to punch me?
6. Give me a nickname and explain why?
7. Describe me in one word
8. What was your first impression of me?
9. Do you still think the same?
10. Would you ever kiss me?
11. What reminds you of me?
12. If you could give me anything what would it be?
13. How well do you know me?
14. Whens the last time you saw me?
15. Have you ever wanted to tell me something you couldn't?
16. If you could ask me anything what would you ask?

Woo hoo!!

I got this idea from Ruaridh so cheers matey chum!
Copy and paste it into a comment and fill it in!

I _____ Siobhan.

Siobhan is _____.

If I were alone in a room with Siobhan, I would _____.

I think Siobhan should _____

Siobhan needs _____.

I want to _____ Siobhan.

Someday Siobhan will ___.

Siobhan reminds me of _____.

Without Siobhan _____.

My memories of Siobhan are _____.

Siobhan can be _____.

The worst thing about Siobhan is _____.

The best thing about Siobhan is _____.

I am _____ with Siobhan.

One thing i would like to know about Siobhan is _______.

Siobhan should go and ______.

With all Siobhan's money i would ________.

Yay!!