My whole life came crashing down...so fast I never knew what hit me or how to deal with it. I spent a lot of time sobbing over bullshit, now I am back (BACK IN THE NEW YORK GROOVE) lol and everything is OK! I've thought long and hard about earsing all the memories...I still do but something keeps me there. The good times and the impact thats been made on my life. To experience love, for the first time is unlike anything. Those times you will remember for the rest of your life...unfortunatly shit happens and it ends. But we learn...and we go back in the game again. Although I've moved on to happier times...I think about him. I refuse to hate, I only love. The thoughts will never go away...maybe someday when I'm old and have alzimers (bad speller I know but you get the drift) and even then I have pictures...Oh those camera happy days! Things get easier with time...(They say time heals everything...) I won't finish that quote b/c I don't believe in the next line. I've always believed that time heals everything...It's healed me.

What used to be my world...is over! The things I used to love and spend all my time on are gone. I am alone and I couldn't care less. I've learned it's better to be by yourself, cuz you don't have to depend on anyone, when you do you usually end up disappointment. The disappointment of lies and people being fake. No one in this world cares about anyone anymore...only themselves. When you open up you only get shut down. I don't have to be let down anymore, therfore I am not scared. I miss everything!!...but I live each day like it is...shit

God I am sooo unloved...(U) I've lost the only thing that matters...the one person who gets me though everyday, by just saying those words "I love you," even if they were fake or said out of habit...I still loved it. I will never completly heal, and as of right now I don't want to...imu