its almos 5 years .. 5 years .. to 10th grade .. 5 years to meher .. 5 years to grisha .. 5 years to rosh .. 5 years .. to me actualli bein a kiddo .. n loathin me bein called dat ..

i still remember .. my last exam .. science .. the board exams were over .. n we had our photo session right after the exams .. <wierd timin> .. but yerr .. n widout the obvious; peeps who r too-koo-to-appear-in-class pix !

i was soo not in a hurry .. vacation time had begun ..
n grisha was movin back to goa .. so we weren't very enthusiast abt teh holi .. neva thought i'd never get to say g'bbye to her .. but yea ..

i still rememba daee was standin near the gate .. his neck extended .. n to what seemed to me froma distance .. was - 'bouncin' all oer teh place ! .. n had tis huuuuuge smile on his face ..

theres tis huge field we havta cross oer .. till we reach the front entrance o teh schoo .. n i must admit .. i was kinna embarassed at first .. but then .. wen i voiced it out .. to grisha n rosh .. dun quite rememba who else was wid us .. nasifa i guess .. n sam ?? .. so yea ..

i crossed teh field .. n almos run to dad .. n i smile .. n he n teh girls exchange hi s ..

he smiled so wide to em .. it freaked em out .. ha ha .. i remember .. rosh gigglin .. but yea ..
so we walk out of school together .. n then the obvious question - "ow did the paper go ?" .. he looked like he was so happy dat it cudn't matter if teh response was negative .. < but ow can MY response EVA ba negative .. ha ha ha ..>
- <<got into teh car>>
he smilin to me ..
n i smilin back .. i'm thinkin hes happy i'm done wid my exams..
some news goin on in the car's AM .. yea .. we used to lissen to "AM" .. lol .. n so i'm like .. drop me off at Ceemol's i need to discuss my paper .. n daaee's like ..
"then we'll get late" ...
wid that mysteriously wide smile .. pat came - " late for WHAT !!" ..
we have to leave the country ..
" WAAAHAAAAAAAAAAT ! "
waaa ... seriousli .. WAA !!??!! .. < we had passed ceemol's house by then>
"yea........" - in teh most mellow tone .. more like i know him ..
but that wicked smile still on ..
waaa .. wea are we goin .. !!??!! - Singapore ..
its like .. his words jus passed right oer my head .. n fer some reason .. i joined in wid a stupid smile ..
we had never been on a vacation ..
n this was a surprise .. for me ..
i still cudn't believe it .. even after reachin home .. but i saw mum packin .. n the map laid out fer my refernce ..
n mum walks by wid a smile - it was so hard to keep dat secret .. but we pulled it off ..
it was chaotic .. as every travel is .. fer me n my mum ..
malaysia was brilliant .. n so was singapore .. i got to meet .. Tim n Gracia Wiarda.. Family freinds from Salalah .. got pix o Paul n Liza .. my freinds .. they wer so grown up ..
... n now i luk back on those pix .. wid hardli a few pix of daee.. hes always teh kinna person who's takin pix .. n dun like to be in one .. dats wea i get mine from ..
tis whole thing is so random .. but .. i jus felt like puttin it down ..
cos dis .. i'm never forgettin .. n teh next time i read tis .. i know .. i hav a reason to smile ..

back wid another burden .. back wid another o life's puzzlers .. this time .. it jus is testin my extremes ..

there are two types o people .. people who do not know they are livin in happiness until uncertainities dawn on them .. and theres teh other kind .. who are aware of the fact o their blissful lives .. now jus watchin .. watchin .. watchin close n waitin .. waitin fer somethin to go awfulli wrong ..

what else can be anticipates - c'est la vie !

much of my life was spent like any other person .. 'the first category o persons' .. not knowin dat .. yes .. these are those moments o happiness .. n these are teh moments u are goin to luk back on long long .. long way down teh line ..

life is much o a thrill wid teh ups n teh downs ..

but we can hardli ever anticipate recoverin .. thats wat makes us all anxious .. never ever wantin to take a risk .. never ever livin life at teh edge ..

ease is how we'd like to define our lives ..

ease .. which also takes into consideration o takin things fer granted .. takin life fer granted .. never stoppin to appreciate teh beauty o life .. itself ..

sumthin as mysterious n deep as life .. taken for granted ..

so yea .. i see myself skippin teh topic hea !

so now i find myself in tis mos awkward position .. havin evrythin .. evry frikkin thin i ever wanted ...

lemme spell it out - "HIM" ..

n know i will hav to let go...... sometimes makes u wonder if it wudv better widout havin him at all {!!!}

i doubt !

maybe dats why they say .. big things come in small packages .. okk .. frankli .. i'm goin beserk.. not seemin to make sense .. but yo my blog .. u hav all of me ..

its the hardest wen u KNOW teh worst is gonna happen .. n its like a timebomb tickin away in your head .. tick - tick - tick

u dunno if u'd rather hav it go off .. or let it tick away .. tryin to enjoy those lil moments ... cos u know .. that is all your will .. ever ... ever... ever .. have wid this person ..

tick-tick-tick

the dark starstudded night so beautiful above .. the gentle breeze .. the chirp of crickets..the shady places .. wid no mention o the humans..

it was all calling you .. it was ..

i waited .. my moment o bliss
..childlike admiration toward teh diamonds that set the sky alive .. i blushed at the blow o the gentle breeze ticklin my bare neck.. nature only grew fonder of me .. and i of it .. as we continued to live in the moment ..

the night was with me ..

and i waited .. searching the shadows.. with only one hope .. that i'd hav a glimpse .. o reflection.. o u ..
dats all i needed ..
dat was what i pleaded for ..

hopelessly.. ponderin on all those supernaturnal things .. that happen to a lucky few.. i wished it had happened wid me .. tonight ..

reality crept in .. my fantasies .. bein killed by my own conscience .. what else could i do .. but cry?

i wished you could be there .. to deceive reality..

the shimmering stars .. the breezes whispers.. the crickets playful chirps .. the sway of the plam leaves .. made me sense .. the presence of you ..

then a sense o understandin ..
strange sense o pride shown on me ..
we did make it passed the brutal calculated reality..

the night was with me .. the night was with us ..

this long night was ...