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- Insanity it Seems, Has got me by my Soul to Squeeze!
- Me, Myself, and I
- I've started noticing that the realm of sanity may just be out of reach for me now. Not to worry.
Still got quite alot of shit in my life that needs seen too. My life is all over the place the now. Need to start making more time for old friends, and less time for Dann.... other people....
I'm a bit odd, for the fact I identify the correct or "normal" choices, but choose the opposite one just to spite people. Plan on quiting smoking sometime between now and my smoking related death. Enjoy a good beer with good mates, in a good pub. Was in the merchant navy, travelled around alot, still want to travel, but not as a career. Anything I missed,... well thats your problem, I know the facts.
- The Other Half Of Me
Its just guy love, thats all it is!
- Anything that isnt Neddy, or gets played in O'neils car (They're both about the same(with the execetion of his rock CD's). RHCP, Foo's, Thin Lizzy, AC/DC, Type-O-Negative, anything good by my standards.
- TV, Movies, anything like that....
- Classic, comedy, cheesy, crap good, horror, sci-fi, action, drama.
Alien Movies, Red Dwarf, Family Guy, Simpsons, Band of Brothers, Scubs, all Tarintino Movies, anything.
- Scared Of
- Dying and finding out there is a God, he is gonna be pissssssed!
- Happiest When
- im with mates/beer. chillin with Danny!
- How well do you know Chris? 13 Taken
1. Leave permanent markers by the dry-erase board.
2. Ask whether the first chapter will be on the test. If the professor says no, rip the pages out of your textbook.
3. Hold up a piece of paper that says in large letters "CHECK YOUR FLY". (At Least for the Male profs.)
4. Address the professor as "your excellency".
5. When the professor turns on his laser pointer, scream "AAAGH! MY EYES!"
6. Relive your Junior High days by leaving chalk stuffed in the chalkboard erasers.
7. Sit in the front, sniff suspiciously, and ask the professor if he's been drinking.
8. Correct the professor at least ten times on the pronunciation of your name, even it's Smith. Claim that the i is silent.
9. Sit in the front row reading the professor's graduate thesis and snickering.
10. Feign an unintelligible accent and repeatedly ask, "Vet ozzle haffen dee henvay?" Become agitated when the professor can't understand you.
11. Wink at the professor every few minutes. (Hey you might even get a date if he/she is cute.)
12. Every few minutes, take a sheet of notebook paper, write "Signup Sheet #5" at the top, and start passing it around the room.
13. Start a "wave" in a large lecture hall.
0 Comments 265 weeks
1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female...... Any part under a car's hood.
Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.
2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male.... Playing cricket without a box.
3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.
4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female.... A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.
5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.
6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female.... An embarrassing by product of indigestion.
Male....... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.
7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female...... The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male.. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.
8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male.... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.
0 Comments 298 weeks
Billy Connolly - What pisses him off
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the fuck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Fucking right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the fuck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?
5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No tosser, I paid 10 quid to come to the cinema and stare at the fucking floor.
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give me a choice there, did you sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.
8. When people say "life is short". What the fuck?? Life is the longest
damn thing anyone ever fucking does!! What can you do that's longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come
yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, Knob head?
10. People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used to be'. So what did they used to be? ears, Wellington boots?
11. When you're eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?' No it's
really revolting - I always eat stuff I hate.
12. People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that's an image I really didn't need.
13. McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you if you don't
insert the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering..... It has to be a
McChicken Burger, just a Chicken Burger gets blank looks. Well I'll have a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you fucking McTosser.
14. When your involved in an accident and someone asks 'are you alright?'
Yes fine thanks, I'll just pick up my limbs and be off
0 Comments 322 weeks
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