Introduction

Pedophilia,now theres a cheap hobby! If you want the advanced gear, you need toilet roll and binoculars. I bought a telescope, but all I could see was the moon, no good Poon.

Chinese chocolate
cheese and wheat
the police come knocking
and they dont see me
moving in the shadows
like Buzzs Lightyears

Moving in the shadows, like the devil I creep, smacking babies, making them weep!

Im the bluetooth ninja, dont mess with me, crouching in the darkness, raping a TV

Plank dont go home glue eats my face when I licks it, I gots bills to pay!




Chapter 1

But it was not to last when Gigantor invaded our homes and made the woman and children run and hide in fear. but we were true men, and fought its suffocating blackness! We would grab our sturdy buckets and spades and clear out the mess it left in its wake, crumbling its defences by firing cats at its large blackened crevice. ZZ top came to help as well, Billy Gibbons eventually knocking Gigantor out with his beard.
England came to ruin the city of Gleninch next! We were there, but ZZ top went away to a pie-eating contest sponsored by Oxfam. We enlisted the help of the A-Team.

Ba ba ba baaaa ba ba behh bim boommmm!






Chapter 2

But the A-Team were busy too, so with the cats we had left from firing at Gigantor, we started training an army of Ninja Kittens. Most of them died. So Turbo Ben had to come down with his godly BC Rich and play his sub-sonic super riff to kill England. It almost worked, but with his awesome riffage, the third G String of awesomeness snapped! Thomas came up with the Skull Dragon Riffage destroyer and played it on his funksome 80's Rockster. And the day was saved!

Or was it? I still had to finish doing the horizontal Bop with Nessie, and yet again, another evil had to be vanquished. This time it was the evil forces of Rastafarian Farmfoods Boy. We were standing outside with some Playboy models casually admiring Sheila and spooning, and Rastafarian Farmfoods Boy came at us like a sack of dildos screaming insane insanities. This time Turbo Ben and Thomas were too tired to fight, so throwing a sack of Penguins at Brian, we prepared him for battle as Rastafarian Farmfoods Boy began to slow-motion run towards us. Once he had eaten about forty Penguins (and read all of the jokes) he used his ultra awesome Secret Weapon. Reciting the jokes! After he was on his fifteenth bad joke, we had to wear earplugs, when he was near twenty, we had to bury ourselves in concrete wellies. on thirty, Rastafarian Farmfoods Boy cried for his mother, and on the fortieth joke, Brian kicked him in the nuts! (FATALITY!) and he turned into a steaming pile of green goo.

Baa ba baa bap Baby Bell!





Chapter 3

But the saga that was our life was not over yet. We still had to play the gig. Forgot about that. So after all of us downded a bottle of Jager each, we headed onto the stage and began our first song; "Strong like Hulk". The fans were going wild, so Thomas threw a tear gas grenade into the crowd and soon they were crying in happiness. The wall suddenly burst open, showering Kurt and CJ with bricks. Turbo Ben and Thomas were fine, their musical talent sheilding them from the rubble. As the dust cloud cleared, it soon became apparent that it was Hulk Hogan just popping by for a visit. After the deaths had been counted and Kurt and CJ de-brickified, we decided to head home on Sheila. Using the custom trailer I just made to hold the band, guitars and drum equipment. As we rode down the road listening to All That Remains on my portable handlebar CD player, the road suddenly burst open, revealing a Balrog on fire! As I dramatically screeched to a halt, showering Paris Hilton in gravel, we pulled out our weapons!

Turbo Ben, level 0, BC Rich of Darkness + Drumsticks
Thomas, level 19, Rockster Funkadelic Special
CJ, level 4, Black Dean Doom Dyke
Kurt, level 4.5, BC Rich covered in eyes?!
Brian, level 20, His Might

1.Your Name:

2. Age:

3. Favorite position (s)?

4. Do you think I'm hot?

5. Would you have sex with me?

6. lights on or off?

7. Would you have to be drunk?

8. Would you take a shower with me?

9. Have you ever thought about having sex with me?

10. Would you leave after or stay the night?

11. Do you like cuddling afterwards?

12. Condom or skin?

13. Do you give Oral pleasures?

14. Do you like to receive Oral Pleasures?

15. Have sex on the first date?

16. Would you kiss me during sex?

17. Do you think I would be good in bed?

18. Threesome?

20. How many times would you like to cum?

21. Would you use me as a booty call?

21. Can I use you as a booty call?

22. Do you like foreplay?

23. What is foreplay to you?

24. Will you post this so I can fill it out for you?

My Husband -
My Wife -
My Girlfriend -
My Daughter - Cheryl lol
My Son -
My Mother -
My Father -
My Sister - Sammi
My Brother - Dani H
My Grandma -
My Grandpa -
My Bestest Friend - Dobell
My Hot Friend - Shari
My Stalker - Thomas
My Lesbian Lover - Sarah W
My Lemon Tart -
My Bitch - Stacey S
My Slutty Friend - Stacey G
My Goldfish -
My Pet Rock -
My Fairy Godmother -
My Random Gay Dude -
My Friendly Neighbourhood Spiderman -
My Insane Auntie -
My Dog -
My Cat -
My Crazy Friend - Katy
My Emo - Louise
My Russian Immigrant - Amber
My Bestest Drinking Buddy - Sarah A Of Course
My Mate That Finishes My Vodka - Dobell
My girl to help me stop the chavelry - Kirsty xP
My Russian Spy - Natalia

And Just For Beany...
Fellow DonutMan - Beany


Tell Me What You Wanna Be xP