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Jesus Christ

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  • Male, 110, Luv 30
  • from Bethlehem
  • Profile views: 4,650
  • Last active: 4/4/10
  • www.bebo.com/JoshuaBenMiriam
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About Me

Me, Myself, and I
I apologise for my absence faithfull followers. I was in the future trying to defend our shores from the Sea-dwelling Mammalian uprising of the 4070's.

I danced in the morning when the world was begun, I danced for the moon and the stars and then sun.

My main hobbies include performing various miracles and sacrificing my life for the good of man kind.

This week's words of wisdom : Every home should have a fire blanket.
The heavenly chorus
Passion of the Christ, Jesus Christ Super Star, Life of Brian
The Holy Scriptures
I have the ability to...
Fly, become invisible, eat bullets, breath fire, make women's clothes dissapear, summon ants, out run light, travel time, fire dinosaurs from my eyes, jump downwards, perform atuo-fellatio, run backwards and forwards at the same time, read with eyes closed, breath through mouth and nose simultaneously, count to infinity, moon-walk, x-ray vision, juggle, pee gold, play slap-bass, sing all the notes at once, pick up FM radio, cure gayness... the list goes on.
Happiest When
Telling parables, healing lepers, washing feet, dancing.
Pet Hates
Sinners, Romans, Judas, crucifiction is a bit shit.
Other name
Holy spirit, Lord of the dance, the messiah etc.

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  • Thirty Things You Didn't Know About Jesus

    - He comes from the sun
    - He has no fingerprints
    - He knows all the words
    - He invented dinosaurs simply so he could fight them
    - His limbs are magnetic
    - He wrote Lord of the Rings
    - If you cut off his head, two will grow back
    - He is a professional ski-jumper
    - Without him, gravity wouldn't work
    - He can smell lies
    - He owns all the birds
    - His skin can't be damaged
    - He managed The Beatles
    - Pain only makes him stronger
    - He turned down $2.3bn to endorse Coca-Cola
    - He can transport to any part of the world via elecrtical sockets
    - He's seen all the films and inspired half of them
    - During solar eclipses he grows to 30 feet tall
    - He could beat Bruce Lee
    - China owes him a lot of money
    - He discovered stairs
    - His resting heart rate is two beats per minute
    - He built the pyramids
    - He was a midwife for three years
    - He has a degree in everything
    - He wrote the birthday song
    - He invented lungs
    - His blood is made from lava
    - He hatched from an egg
    - Night-time was his idea

    4 Comments 317 weeks

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