one
If you're ugly,
stop acting like you don't know it.
The captions under you picture that says
"top model pose"
"sexy bitch"
"arnt i hot"
doesn't convince anyone.


two
To the people who have like 25,000 friends,
are you serious?
Nobody in this universe can keep up with that many friends.
You're stupid.
Go play in traffic.


three.
Don't ever post pictures and say
"OMG, I'm so ugly"
"OMG,I'm so fat"
because if really thought you were,
you wouldn't post them.


four.
Nobody cares about threats over the internet.
Don't try to act hardcore with the keyboard.
Fighting online is like racing in the special olympics;
even if you win,
you're still retarded.


five.
Making 20 bulletins a day
about how you have new pictures
and begging people to comment on them is pathetic.
Make the bulletin once if you have to,
and those who actually care about you
will comment on your pics.


six.
If all your pictures look the same,
don't post them all.
Please put some variety in your pics.
Nobody wants to see your face
8 different ways.


seven.
Who really gives a shit if
I don't accept you as a friend?
MOVE ON!!!
Don't send me another request or message asking
"what's up with you not adding me?"
I don't want you as a friend;
that's what's up!


eight.
Little 6th graders who have bebo
and look like sluts,
go somewhere else
because nobody wants you here.


nine.
If you have decided to read this,
you are a true bebo Friend.
Real friends read their bulletins.


ten.
I say you go and pass this on
and maybe it will finally get through people's brains
(if they have them).


eleven.
And if you open a bulletin and it says something like
"repost this in 100 seconds or a ghost will rape your dog tonight,"
IT'S NOT REAL!
QUIT BEING AN IDIOT!!!!!!!!

PRE-BOOTY CALL AGREEMENT

THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES

1. No sleeping over-- unless the sex was so good and we need to repeat it in the morning
2. No meeting in public place?nless getting drinks or sumthin to eat before the nite? events
3. No calls before 7pm dont have shyte to talk about
4. None of that love making? u come to f*** and u f*** to cum
5. No emotional conversations--- love is not a feeling between us
6. No comparisons between previous f***s? dont give a shyte
7. No calling each other friends with benefits were not friends, we just fuck together.....
8. Calling out the wrong name while having sex is ok just dont be offended
9. No excessive clothing! dont want u leaving anything when u leave
10. Do not be offended if I dont ask u how good it was dont give a shyte
11. If someone asks who u are, tell them we just met
12. Try not to make eye contact during sexthe less connection the better
13. Do NOT call me ill call u!!! However if accepted please feel free to call for the Booty call.

A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. Unbeknownst to her, her 9 year old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet. The boy now has company.

Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball."
Man: "That's nice."
Boy: "Want to buy it?"
Man: "No, thanks."
Boy: My dad's outside."
Man: "OK, how much?"
Boy: "$250."

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover are in the closet together.

Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball glove."
Man: "How much?"
Boy: "$750."
Man: "Fine."

A few days later,
the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball."
The boy says, "I can't ! I sold them."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
The son says,"$1,000."
The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."

They go to church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door.

The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that shit again."