Well its been forever since I wrote on this site. I am not sure why I don't get on this site anymore, I think its because I am on myspace more often than here and I don't think anyone uses this site anymore, well none of my friends do anyways. Maybe someday I will meet some people on this site.

Well as I was reading some of the blogs that I had previously written, it surprises me to see that I've liked this certain girl for over 600 days. That seems like a long time to like someone, and not have anything to show for it. I haven't taken her out or anything like that.

I mean I am not really complaining because I've been talking to her since I first found out that I was attracted to this girl. And well I used to spend alot of time with her. A few months ago I used to go over to her house almost everyday and spend at least 2-3 hours at a time just talking to her, and being around her.

And now I don't know. Maybe I am not that attracted to her anymore that much or whatever because right now I don't spend that much time with her anymore. I don't know why. I mean I still like her alot, and I still think about her alot. I don't know. Maybe I am slowing trying to forget about her, and if I spend more time with her I won't be able to do that.

Sometimes I think that I am just telling myself that, so that I won't have to face that fact that "yes I still like her very much, that I still think about her constantly".

I don't know. I mean there are some other things going on. But yeah I told myself a few weeks ago that I wouldn't spend anymore time with her, that I am just going to ignore her and ignore my feelings. But you know what? Its really hard to do that. I mean just two weeks ago or so, I found myself over at her house, chilling and talking and drinking. And I didn't leave her house until about 4:30 in the morning. And even before I left her house, I went up to her and I gave her a hug and a kiss goodbye before I went back to my house. I don't know. If I really wanted to forget about her I wouldn't put myself in that type of situation. I don't know. Maybe I am just a stupid person, and I really don't know what I want.

Well I was looking around on my computer, and one of the files I have saved has all my passwords and whatever, and I saw that I had an account on Bebo which I totally forgot about, so I decided to log on and see if anyone wrote anything or whatever on it.

Well it looks like this site hasn't been touched in a long time or whatever. Well the girl that I "like", I am not even sure if I still like her or whatever. My crush on her seems to have wan a little so, its all good I guess. I don't know. For some reason ever since she came back, I haven't spoken to her at all. I don't know why that is. I guess that I am feeling sort of this weird tension between or something. I don't know. I so want to talk to her, but I want her to come to me, you know?

Well as it is, I was going to walk over to her house a few hours ago, but I decided not to. One I didn't want to go to her house in case her roommates were there too, for some reason I have this weird thing about talking to someone that I like in front of other people even though I have talked to her in front of other people, its just that I haven't said anything really to her, and it would be just to show up at her house and whatnot.

I don't know. I wish that I wasn't feeling this way, and that I could just go up to her and talk with her. I think that I would feel so much better if I did that, because this week I have been sort of out of it, if you know what I mean.

I think that 2morrow, I will go to her and just ask her whats up. I think that it would make me feel much better, knowing that we can still talk you know?

As of right now, I don't want a relationship. Maybe its because of that realization I've been acting so weird and whatever around her. Well now that I have realized that, I hope that I can overcome it so that I can talk with her, even though I don't want a relationship with her, I still want to be able to talk to her, and be content in the fact that I can still she her smiling at me, and laughing too.

Well today I have duty. I just got off my watch, which was alright. The first hour of it was hot, and the sun was just bright and sunny. But I was glad that there was some breeze so it wasn't too bad. And I am glad that I am done with the watch and I can relax for the rest of the day.

I saw her today. I was still debating with myself if I should say hi to her or not because I was going to try to see if I can go a few days or so without speaking with her, but than I thought to myself that I don't want to hurt her even if I am not speaking with her. Because than she would think that I was mad at her or something and I am not. Its just that I don't want to get too attached to her, even though I do feel attracted to her. I don't know, its complicated I guess. But yeah, I eventually did say hi to her, and I talk to her for a little bit. I am glad that I got to see her smile, and she does make me smile even when I stand by her. Just those little things she does, it makes me smile.