Following my visit to my sister in Crete I am now more determined than ever to find a new job. Life in my sister's village was so relaxing and the people so friendly that I have come to resent the job I currently have, and frankly there is more to life than going day in day out to something you hate.

But someone sent me this in work and I just thought "Wouldn't it be lovely if you could actually do this. It is a "Resignation from Adulthood":

My Resignation

I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult. I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an 8 year-old.

I want to go to McDonald's and think that it's a four star restaurant. I want to sail sticks across a fresh rain puddle and make a dam with rocks.
I want to think M&Ms are better than money because you can eat them. I want to lie under a big oak tree and run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer's day.

I want to return to a time when life was simple; When all you knew were colours, multiplication tables, and nursery rhymes, but that didn't bother you, because you didn't know what you didn't know and you didn't care.
All you knew was to be happy because you were blissfully unaware of all the things that should make you worried or upset. I want to think the world is fair. That everyone is honest and good.

I want to believe that anything is possible. I want to be oblivious to the complexities of life and be overly excited by the little things again. I want to live simple again. I don't want my day to consist of computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, how to survive more days in the month than there is money in the bank, doctor bills, gossip, illness, and loss of loved ones.

I want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, justice, peace, dreams, the imagination, mankind, and making angels in the sand. So... here's my cheque book and my car-keys, my credit card bills and all my accounts to pay. I am officially resigning from adulthood.

And if you want to discuss this further, you'll have to catch me first, cause........ ......"Tag! You're it."

Join me down the beach, cuz it is fun down there

I know it has been a while since I have added anything to this site, but it has been because I have been trying to get my head together.

It hasn't been easy.

I have been absent from work now since December 2006 due to me suffering from "Mental and Nervous Exhaustion". Apparently this is the new PC way of saying that you have had a nervous breakdown. Yes, another one.

What triggered this one is completely different to the first one I had in 2003. This was work related. Let me explain.

I have worked as an Administrative Officer (AO) for the Child Support Agency for 13 years now. It was my first job after doing my A-levels. For 10 of those years I have been on "temporary promotion" to Executive Officer (EO), dealing with enquiries from Members of Parliament, dealing with enquiries from HM Forces, compiling responses on behalf of the Chief Executive of the Agency within very tight deadlines and, at times, running a team of 12 staff.

For those of you who have never been a part of the Civil Service maybe I should explain the term "temporary promotion" (TP). When given TP your management recognises the fact that you are able to do the job above that of your substantive grade. You get slightly more pay than your fellow AO but slightly less than the EO level you on TP to. Howvever, the amount of work you take on is at least the same as, but more than likely more than, the grade you are on TP to.

So for the last 10 years, I have been on TP. Not quite an EO and not quite an AO. Yes, I got slightly more pay, but yes I did more work than other EO's. And the point with TP is that you can go in one day to find you are back to your substantive grade.

In those 10 years I have applied 4 times for the Promotion Exercise to obtain the position of a Substantive EO (i.e To continue the job I have been doing for 10 years, on a slightly higher pay, but without the everyday threat that I would have the TP taken from me), and four times I have been refused.

After each time I have been told I am not good enough to be a substantive EO, I am asked to continue being a TP EO. So why, if I am not good enough to be a substantive EO, why am I good enough to be a TP EO?

By the way. Prozac is a very good prescription drug.

OK, I admit I am a very open person. I talk about how I feel and what is going on in my life. Hell!! If you sit still long enough I will talk to you and you will know my life history in about and hour.

So why is it that people don't feel they are able to talk to me? I can keep secrets. I can give advice, it may be crap advice, but I can give it! I can listen, I am very very good at listening. If I wasn't so fucked up myself I think I would make a great shrink!

It is true what they say, "A problem shared is a problem spared". Even if I haven't experienced the problem you are talking about, I can at least give you an unbiased opinion and hopefully help you.

So why is it that certain people cannot or will not discuss their feelings? Does it take a special type of person?

I look at the friends I have and have mixed feelings.

There is a friend who came back to me after almost 18 months of no communication. I fucked up and am so glad to have him back. I missed talking to him but we are getting things back on track. I really hope,despite my fuck-up, we can be friends as we were.

There is a friend who has "lost interest", who thinks I should "stop blaming my depression and grow up"....I wish I could! It would make life so much easier, but for me the medication does that. I miss that friend, despite his attempts to make me hate him. I hope he understands that one day. I can't choose what or who I am.

I also have friends who stand by me no matter the emotion I am going through. I can rant at them. I can insult them and lash out at them....I know I am not easy to get on with and can be a real shit at times...but they understand and they always forgive me. They talk me through things and although they don't and can't understand what I am going through, they give me their opinion and advice. I may not agree with them, but I appreciate completely their loyalty and friendship.

Friends are rare. There is a saying that a man who says he "Has many friends, has few." I agree. I have few friends. But those I do have I cherish and love.

I think that is the most important part of friendship. Understanding. If you don't understand or even try to understand the person you are friends with, then it won't work.

Ignore class. Ignore gender. Ignore sexuality. Ignore intelligence. Basically, if you find a friend in someone you never expected to then work on it. Accept it and grasp it as much as you can.

Wives, husbands, girlfriends, boyfriends, partners come and go. But it is your friends that stay with you. For those in relationships, don't ignore your friends or push them out. You may, and will need them someday.

So why is August not hotter than July like they said?