-You go to the ball with your cousin.
-A nice restaurant is an 'all you can eat' place.
-Someone in your family got pregnant at 15.
-A sleeve is a form of tissue for your nose.
-You have to do dishes more than 3 times a day.
-Breakfast is the left over food from last night.
-Your sent to pick watercress for a funeral, 3 o'clock in the morning.
-You organise for a get together at 2 o'clock, and everyone shows up at 5.
-You get a hiding with a jandal/gumboot/chord/spoon jst 4 larfn.
-You can sprint barefoot on sharp rocks.
-You visit cuzzies, and someone's wearing the clothes you left behind last time.u woz thr.
-You and your cousins sit around, and dis everyone who walks past.
-Your brother is over protective of you
-You have brothers or sisters with different mothers or fathers.
-You give the longest shout outs on the radio.
-You have 6 people in the back seat of the car.
-You go home after school on a Wednesday, and your parents are having a party lyk jak the muss.
-In a photo, someone's pulling some kind of gang related hand signal.
-Your mum cut your hair cos you kept getting kutu's.
-Your at a party, and your aunty turns the stereo off then starts playing the guitar.
-You know all the words to 10 guitars.
-You see someone wearing your shoes that went missing at the marae.
-The words 'ow' 'chur' and 'sweet' are part of your vocabulary.
-you go to school to eat the other kids lunch
-you go to school to watch the teacher teach the other kids
-you give the pakeha kid a hiding for calling you dum
- bullrush was your favourite sport
-You get ur pakeha partner to go rent the flat
-you think ur tribe is the best in the world
-your dad cuts your hair, gets hoha and leaves the other half for the next day after school!!
-your older brother makes you cry and your the one who gets a hiding for crying
-all your marbles are ball bearings and you try to pass them off as steelies
-Hello and goodbye is said by raising your eyebrows.
-your jandals / gumboots are: ur running shoes, ur work shoes, ur flippers and ur going out shoes.
-your swimming togs are shorts and t-shirt. (and ur in Maui, Hawaii, where all they wear is bikinis).
-you do bombs at the public pools where it says no bombing.
-brushing your hair is ... just putting on a beanie.
-you start driving, smoking and drinking when you are in form one
-you're good at touch
-at least one of your relations is a Coconut
-you cant speak Maori but are fluent when you are drunk
-you laugh at everyone who cant sing
-you laugh at everyone who cant dance
-you laugh at everyone who cant do both at the same time
-your at a party with the guitar and everyone only knows half the words to all the songs u sing
-You go to a party and you meet a new cousin
-you go to a party and at least a couple of ur relatives are sleeping on the table
-you go to a party & in three days time, its still going
-you go diving with one flipper
-playing the spoons is right up there for percussion to the guitar.
-gumboots, jandals & a swandri are all considered #1's.
-the whanau hangi sacks and baskets get passed down to you
-rotten foods are a delicacy

I CAN READ IT! CAN YOU

fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too.
Cna yuo raed tihs?

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!


Kool Aye

Dear Girls....

Don't assume that guys won't care where you are, because we do....
It makes us feel secure to know that our girlfriends aren't off flirting with guys we've never heard of....

Also, don't talk about your ex-boyfriends....
We never have, nor ever will respect or like them, nor do we want to hear about them....
When you do, you're asking your boyfriend to be jealous....
You're asking your boyfriend to lose trust....

On that, don't hump everything that walks into the room....
We don't care if you talk to other guys....
We don't care if you're friends with other guys....
But when you're sitting next to us, and some random guy walks into the room and you jump up and tackle him, without even introducing us, yeah, it pisses us off....
It doesn't help if you sit there and talk to him for ten minutes without even acknowledging the fact that we're still there....

Also, when we tell you you're pretty, beautiful, gorgeous, cute, stunning, we freaking mean it....
Don't tell us we're wrong....
We'll stop trying to convince you....
The sexiest thing about a girl is confidence....
Yeah, you can quote me....

Don't be mad when we hold the door open....
Smile and say thank you....
Let us pay for you....
Don't feel bad....
We enjoy doing it....
It's expected....
Smile and say everybody together now thank you....

Kiss us when no one's watching....
If you kiss us when you know nobody's looking we'll be more impressed....

You don't have to get dressed up for us....
If we're going out with you in the first place, you don't have to feel the need to wear the shortest skirt you have, put on every kind of makeup you own....
We like you for WHO you are and not WHAT you are....

Don't flirt with guys when we're not around....
We'll find out. Trust us....
We have eyes everywhere....
And when we find out, we're pissed....
Not necessarily with the guys you flirted with, more-so with you....

Don't take everything we say seriously....
Sarcasm is a beautiful thing. See the beauty in it....
Don't get angry easily....
Stop using magazines,media as your bible....

Don't talk about how hot Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt is in front of us....
It's boring, and we don't care....
You have girlfriends for that....

Whatever happened to the word handsome ....
Why does everything have to be hot,sexy ....
I'd be utterly stunned by a girl who greeted me with Hey handsome instead of Hey baby, stud, cutie, sexy or whatever else you can think of....
Claiming girls or guys to be hot shows immaturity....

Girls, I cannot stress this enough if you aren't being treated right by a guy, don't wait for him to change....
Ditch his sorry, disgrace to the male population ass, and find someone who will treat you with utter respect....
Someone who will honor your morals....
Someone who will make you smile when you're at your lowest....
Yours sincerly the guys....