AT LAST A GUY HAS TAKEN THE TIME TO WRITE THIS ALL DOWN

FINALLY , THE GUYS' SIDE OF THE STORY.
(I MUST ADMIT, IT'S PRETTY GOOD.)
WE ALWAYS HEAR " THE RULES "
FROM THE FEMALE SIDE.


NOW HERE ARE THE RULES FROM THE MALE SIDE.
THESE ARE OUR RULES!

PLEASE NOTE.. THESE ARE ALL NUMBERED "1"
ON PURPOSE!

1. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.

1. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT.
YOU'RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT'S UP, PUT IT DOWN.
WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN.
YOU DON'T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN.

1. SUNDAY SPORTS. IT'S LIKE THE FULL MOON
OR THE CHANGING OF THE TIDES.
LET IT BE.

1. SHOPPING IS NOT A SPORT.
AND NO, WE ARE NEVER GOING TO THINK OF IT THAT WAY.

1 CRYING IS BLACKMAIL.

1. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT.
LET US BE CLEAR ON THIS ONE:
SUBTLE HINTS DO NOT WORK!
STRONG HINTS DO NOT WORK!
OBVIOUS HINTS DO NOT WORK!
JUST SAY IT!

1. YES AND NO ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS TO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION.

1. COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM ONLY IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. THAT'S WHAT WE DO.
SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR.

1. A HEADACHE THAT LASTS FOR 17 MONTHS IS A PROBLEM.

SEE A DOCTOR.

1. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT.
IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS.

1. IF YOU WON'T DRESS LIKE THE VICTORIA 'S SECRET GIRLS, DON'T EXPECT US TO ACT LIKE SOAP OPERA GUYS.

1. IF YOU THINK YOU'RE FAT, YOU PROBABLY ARE.
DON'T ASK US.

1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE other one

1. YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO SOMETHING
OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE.
NOT BOTH.
IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO DO IT, JUST DO IT YOURSELF.

1. WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY DURING COMMERCIALS.

1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE.

1. ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLORS, LIKE WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS.
PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT, NOT A COLOR. PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT. WE HAVE no IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.

1. IF IT ITCHES, IT WILL BE SCRATCHED.
WE DO THAT.

1. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY "NOTHING," WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING'S WRONG.
WE KNOW YOU ARE LYING, BUT IT IS JUST NOT WOR TH THE HASSLE.

1. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON'T WANT AN ANSWER TO, EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR.

1. WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS FINE. REALLY .

1. DON'T ASK US WHAT WE'RE THINKING ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DISCUSS SUCH TOPICS AS BASEBALL, THE SHOTGUN FORMATION,
OR GOLF.

1. YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES.

1. YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES.

1. I AM IN SHAPE. ROUND IS A SHAPE!

1. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS.
YES, I KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH TONIGHT;


BUT DID YOU KNOW MEN REALLY DON'T MIND THAT? IT'S LIKE CAMPING.

1. Full Name: Mark David Roberts
2. Nicknames: Markus, Marko, Markus Aeralius, Alonso (football lads)
3. Birthday: 4th April
4. Place of Birth: Dundee
5. Zodiac Sign: Aries
6. Male or Female: Male
7. Grade: A
8. School: Carnoustie high school
9. Occupation: Co-op till july!
10. Residence: Carnousite
11. MSN Screen Name: Mark- Every Minute from this minute now, we can do what we like, anywhere.
12. Hair Color: Brown
13. Hair Length: erm, long enough to need cut
14. Eye color: blue, unlike louise who's not special, she just cant decide
15. Weight: 10 stone
16. Height: 6ft
17. Braces?: nah man
18. Glasses?: nah man
19. Piercings: nah man
20. Tattoos: see last three answers
21. Righty or Lefty: righty

___Your 'Firsts'___

22. First best friend: Gordan/Neal MacDonald
23. First Important Award: pppf can't remember,had too many
24. First Sport You Joined: Rugby, what a team we had by the way!
25. First pet: Cat, Bagiera
26. First Real Vacation: Magaluf 06, best holiday ever, until Magaluf 07 haha
27. First Concert: Bowling for Soup
28. First Real Love: myself, gotta look out for number 1

___ Favorites___

29. Movie: Napoleon Dynamite hahaha different class!
30. TV programme: Friends/top gear, its too difficult to decide.
31. Colour: blue
32. Rapper: Eminem
33. Band: of all time - Blink 182, at the moment - Rise Against
34. Song Right Now: Snow Patrol - Open Your Eyes
35. closest friends: Goggs Neal Nik Beattie Tom Jamie Elder Addy Beaton Angela Caroline (happy now? )Kirsty Kate Louise (even tho she didn't say me, prick!) Katy Lisa Ami Helen John Grant Keir ahh there's not enough room for everyone!
36. Sweet: Twix
37. Sport to do: Football
38. Restaurant: That pizza take-a-way in Magaluf, MEATFEAST!!!
39. Favorite brand: Nike
40. Store: Burton/Topman
41. School Subject: Maths
42. Animal: Both my cats died when they were 21 (different times obviously, and also it was 21 in human years )
43. Book: The Books of the Belgariad by David Eddings
44. Magazine: FHM (don't really buy magazines but bought that a couple of times)
45. Shoes: Converse
___Currently___

46. Feeling: outstandin, off for the weekend haha
47. Single or Taken?: single
48. Have a crush: possibly
49. Eating: Crisps, Shock!
50. Drinking: just a quiet bottle of millar in the house
51. Typing: this and writing my ucas application
52. Online?: No shit Shezz
53. Listening To: Snow Patrol
54. Thinking About: Getting more food
55. Wanting To: Get More Food
56. Watching: The Screen
57. Wearing: jeans, cons and a stripy top

___Your Future___

58. Want Kids?: yup
59. Want to be Married?:yup
60. Careers in Mind: Actor
61. Where do you want to live: In a house preferably
62. Car: ooooh, don't get me started haha

__Which is Better With The Opposite Sex___

63. Hair color: "not fussed"
64. Hair length: Longish I suppose
65. Eye color: "not fussy" (I'm quoting louise cus its a good answer)
66. Measurements: Not really bothered, just not too tall or too small haha
67. Cute or Sexy: both
68: eyes or lips: eyes
69. Hugs or Kisses: both
70. Short or Tall: Louise is right, we've been here before.
71. Easygoing or serious: Easy going
72. Romantic or Spontaneous: both
73. Fatty or Skinny: in the middle
74. Sensitive or Loud: a bit of both always gd combination
75. Hook-up or Relationship: depends on the day of the week... haha just kiddin, Relationship
76. Sweet or Caring: Both
77. Trouble Maker or Hesitant One: bit of both

___Have you ever______

78. Kissed a Stranger:yes
79. Had Alcohol: probably too often for my own good
80. Smoked: pppffff nah man
81. Ran Away From Home: yeah ran round the block thn came home haha I did that too Louise!
82. Broken a bone:nah but cracked one in my foot haha, lets not get into that story
83. Got an X-ray: many a time
84. Performed in front of an audience: yeh, its amazin
85. Broken Someones Heart: Not that I know of, but my bad if I di

can't really be bothered with this...