POSITION :

Mum, Mummy / Dad, Daddy,



JOB DESCRIPTION :
Long term, team players needed, for challenging, permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication skills and organisational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.

Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away towns, cities or mountains.

Extensive courier duties are also required for which travel expenses will not be reimbursed.

RESPONSIBILITIES :
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs £100 or more.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the garden are not someone just crying wolf.

Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zips.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organise social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.

Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :

None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :

None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
None - You pay them!
Offering frequent increases and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that leaving school will help them become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you will actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS :
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no share options are offered, this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.



FOOTNOTE:

THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER

001: Name – Kathryn
002. Nickname - Kathy
003. Single or taken - taken
004. Zodiac Sign - Tauras
005. Male or Female - FEMALE
006. high School - SHIMNA
007. iPod – Yep . . . a black 1
008. How many buddies on your list – No Idea
009. Screenname -ehhh . . . xprincess_kathyx
010. Hair Color – DIRTY BLONDE/ BROWN
012. Hair Long or Short – Long
014. Eye Color – BLUE
015. Are you health freak – Nope
016. Height – 5ft something lol
017. Do you have a crush on someone-Yep
018. Do you like yourself - Sometimes
019. Braces? – No, but used to
020. Think your awesome? – No
022. Tattoo – NO
023. Righty or Lefty - Righty
___Your 'Firsts'___
024. Surgery - Nope
025. First piercing - Ears
026. First best friend – Lauren
027. First Award – Champion in a eveing performance on ma 1st pony Cheery
028. First Sport You Joined – Horse or Irish Dancing (hated Irish Dancing )
029. First pet – A Cat
030. First vacation – mmm ?
031. First Concert – mm Blue i tink
032. First love – Don't no
___Favorites___
033. Movie – Harry Potter and Pirates of the Carribean
034. Favorite tv show – Not Sure
036. Music – R&B
039. Drink - Coke
040. Body part (on a Gal/guy) – Eyes
041. Sport To Play – Horse Ridding
042. Favorite piece of clothing – My HOYS Hoddy
043. Brand Of Clothing? – Joules
044. What/Who do you sleep with? – !!!!!!!!!!!!!
045. Favorite School Subject – prob IT
046.favourite animal- Horse/Pony
047. Favorite Books – HARRY POTTER BOOKS

___Currently___
049. I'm eating - Nothing
050. I'm drinking - Nothing
052. I'm about to – watch harry potter (mab)
053. Listening to – my computer
055. Waiting For – nothing
056. Watching – Da Computer Screen
057. Wearing – a blue t-shirt and jeans
___Your Future___
058. Want Kids? – Yip
059. Want to Get Married? - Yip
060. Careers in Mind – mmm !!!
068. Lips or Eyes - Both
069. Hugs or Kisses - Both
070. Shorter or taller? taller
072. Romantic, Spontaneous or larma - WTF !!!
073. nice stomach or nice arms - Both
074. Sensitive or Loud - Both
075. Hook-up or relationship - Relationship
077. Trouble Maker or Hesitant? – DUNO
___Have you ever___
078. Kissed a Stranger - no
079. Drank bubbles – NO
080. Lost glasses/contacts – no
081. Ran Away From Home - no
082. Broken a bone – no ( I'll prob will now)
083. Got an X-ray - YIP
084. Broken Someone's Heart – YIP
085. Turned Someone Down - YIP
087. Cried When Someone Died - YEA

___Do You Believe In___
089. God - mmm
090. Miracles - YIP
093. Aliens - no
094. Magic - no but i wish there was
095. Heaven - Don't no yet
096. Santa Claus - HAHAHA
097. Sex on the first date – NO
098. Kissing on the First Date - YEA
099. Angels - YIP

___Answer Truthfully___
100 -is there someone you want to be with right now?- YIP

heya! pwease do dis!

WOULD YOU?
go out with me?
give me your number?
kiss me?
let me kiss you?
watch a movie with me
be my bf?
have a fling with me?
Would you let me sleep in your bed?
have a relationship with me?
Dance with me?
Say yes if i asked you out?
Get wasted with me?
Hang out with me?
Bring me around your friends?
DO Y0U.
think im cute?
think im hot?
want to kiss me?
want to cuddle with me?
AM i...
smart?
cute?
funny?
cool?
loveable?
adorable?
compassionate?
annoying?
great to be with?
HAVE Y0U EVER
thought about me?
thought there might be an "us"?
found yourself wanting a kiss from me?
had a crush on me?
wanted my number?
thinking bout me?