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Melissa

The motherfucken world is a ghetto.

12/31/08 Updated through Bebo Mobile | me too! | Reply

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  • Female, 26, Luv 249
  • from Kickin in Belfast
  • Profile views: 6,818
  • Last active: 2/8/11
  • www.bebo.com/Meet_Me_In_Montauk
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Tagline
Thank God you're here - Grandma's been raped.
Me, Myself, and I
Some people are intimidated when talking to large numbers of people in an entertaining way. Not me.

People see me, and they see the suit, and they go: "you're not fooling anyone", they know I'm rock and roll through and through. But you know that old thing, live fast, die young? Not my way. Live fast, sure, live too bloody fast sometimes, but die young? Die old. That's the way- not orthodox, I don't live by "the rules" you know.

You've seen how I react to people, make them feel good, make them think that anything's possible. If I make them laugh along the way, sue me. And I don't do it so they turn round and go 'Thank you Melissa for the opportunity, thank you for the wisdom, thank you for the laughs.' I do it so, one day, someone will go 'There goes Melissa Smith. I must remember to thank her.'
Don't even worry about it mate ...
What is the single most important thing for a friendship? Is it the laughing? Is it the fun? Is it the memories? It’s the bebo, investment in bebo.

My proudest moment here wasn’t when I increased friend requests by 17%, or cut expenditure without losing a single profile comment. No. It was a young Greek guy, first bebo friend on the network, hardly spoke a word of English, but he came to me and he went ‘Miss Smith, will you be my "other half"?’.
Didn’t happen in the end. I had to let him go, he was rubbish. He was rubbish.
All the Big Names
T(I)NC, Action Action, Rancid, At the Drive-In, Blood Brothers, Battles, Bloc Party, The Bronx, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, The Cure, CSS, City & Colour, Leftover Crack, Dustin Kensrue, Dizzee Rascal, Hot Chip, Ian Brown, Interpol, Jimmy Eat World, Joy Division, J5, Kasabian, Lupe Fiasco, Mos Def, Mint Chicks, Modest Mouse, Transplants, MUSE, Oh No! Oh My!, Biffy Clyro, The Presets, Polyphonic Spree, The Postal Service, Refused, The Rapture, Robots in Disguise, Reggie & the Full Effect, Rise Against, Thrice, Talib Kweli, The Veils, Anti-Flag, Die! Die! Die!, The Hives, Morrissey, Oasis, The Cribs, The Shins, The Smiths, She Wants Revenge, Dangerdoom, White Birds & Lemons, Lootpack, MF Doom, The Gossip, Elbow, Arcade Fire, Shy Child, Beirut, Art Brut, Architecture in Helsinki, TV on the Radio, Sigur Ros, Klaxons, Does It Offend You, Yeah?, Radio 4, !!!, Justice, Late of the Pier, Bad Religion, Crystal Castles ...
Oh, did you see that film last night?
300, 24 Hour Party People, American Psycho, Adaptation, Blood Diamond, Bottle Rocket, The Big Lebowski, Bully, Boondock Saints, Basketball Diaries, Being John Malkovich, A Clockwork Orange, Children of Men, Colour Me Kubrick, CONTROL, Dazed & Confused, Donnie Darko, The Departed, The Aviator, The Dreamers, EAGLE VS. SHARK, Eternal Sunshine, Elephant, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Fight Club, Fear & Loathing, Fargo, Gerry, Gummo, Garden State, Ghost World, Goodfellas, Human Traffic, The Heart is Deceitful Above All Things, I ♥ Huckabees, Ichi the Killer, I Love Your Work, The Jacket, Kill Bill, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, THE LIFE AQUATIC, La Science Des Rêves, Lock Stock, Mysterious Skin, Office Space, Pulp Fiction, Pan's Labyrinth, Party Monster, The Prestige, Perfume, Reservoir Dogs, Rocky Horror, Rushmore, Royal Tenenbaums, Snatch, SubUrbia, Shaun of the Dead, Sunshine, Sin City, Stranger than Fiction, Taxi Driver, Trainspotting, Un chien andalou, V for Vendetta ...
The Bleedin' Telly
Garth Margenghi's Darkplace, The Mighty Boosh, Spaced, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Reno 911, Extras, The Office (UK), We Can Be Heroes, Arrested Development, The Young Ones, Teachers, I'm Alan Partridge, Shameless, Stella, Never Mind the Buzzcocks, Neighbours at War, Clark and Michael, Flight of the Conchords, Summer Heights High ...
I Read a Book a Week so ...
Chuck Palahniuk: Choke, Survivor, Fight Club, Diary, Lullaby, Haunted / Douglas Coupland: Generation X: Tales for an Accelerated Culture / Irvine Welsh: Glue, Porno, Ecstacy, Filth, Trainspotting, The Acid House / Bret Easton Ellis: Lunar Park, Less Than Zero, American Psycho, Rules of Attraction, Glamorama / Hubert Selby Jr: Last Exit to Brooklyn, Requiem for a Dream / JT Leroy: The Heart is Deceitful Above All Things
The Other Half Of Me
Benjamin Coley

Benjamin Coley

Ben (You Chew My Mind Up)

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VETO at Roskilde Festival '06

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  • Fear and Some Loathings in Sans Souci

    "Excuse me, Sir. I didn't mean to trouble you, but may I have three of your finest acids please?" spoke Dermot, timidly, to the purveyor of psychadellia standing before him.
    "Yes squire, you may," boomed the raven-haired fellow. He delved into his scraggly beard and produced the three cardboard treats - each doused in a wonderful chemical that was sure to produce a magical euphoric adventure.

    Dermot skipped merrily to his friend Melissa's house and knocked on her door. She answered. "Hey Dermot! How's it going today?" she yelled, almost too excitedly.
    "Aw not too bad eh! Here, I've got three acids for us. Let's take them by way of mouth and see what kind of adventure we can have!"
    "That sounds amazing, Furious D! Let's take them immediately and listen to some musics on my digital musics player!"

    The two placed the acidic delights on their tongue and sucked at them like a boiled sweet. When they were satisfied that the chemical was extracted from the cardboard, they swallowed the treats and waited for it to absorb into their system and dispense with the magic.

    They sat in Melissa's lounge, and supped on some alcoholic beverages, bobbing their heads to the Leftover Crack that was booming on the musicmaker. "These are some nice musics, alcohols and acids, eh?" she asked Dermot.
    "Oh aye," he responded, as his pupils dilated rapidly.

    Twenty minutes passed, and their head bobbing quickly turned to mad gyrating. Thrashing about to ca-razy ska beats, the duo realised the drugs had indeed taken hold and were eager to see what adventures it had in store for them.

    First, they were overcome by fits of laughter. The tears rolled down their cheeks and their stomachs cramped as they seized about on the furniture. "Hey ... HEY!" Dermot screamed, causing a double fetal weep on the floor.

    Soon they were grooving to some hippity-hop, and Melissa did a merry wee jig whilst Dermot gleefully sung along to some Ludakris. "Move! Bitch! Get Out The Way!" he sung excitedly through the laughter.

    Shortly after, Dermot received a wee phone call from their faun-like friend Donal. He, at that very moment, was feasting on some of them magical mushrooms the hippy folk are so fond of. "Here, Donal is on them magical mushrooms, shall we rendezvous with his crew? Dermot enquired.
    "Oh, the magical fungus eh? Yes, let's do that," she responded. "I'll just change out of these rags," she added, and trekked to the bedroom.

    She had a feeling Dermot would pull some sweet shapes, and she decided to sneak back for a wee peek. As she meerkat-ed around the door frame, she found him smack bang in the middle of an epic dance manouvre and blew her cover letting out a tremendous, "PAH!"

    The D-Man froze, mid-manouvre and made a face reminiscent of a deer in headlights. Melissa hit the floor, spewing laughter into the hallway. "Oh, you saw that did you?" he asked, casually. Her unrelenting laughter was all the confirmation he needed and he too collapsed, clutching at his sides and begging for air.
    "Oh aye," Melissa chuckled, "I seen it."

    After what seemed like an eternity, the laughter subsided, and the pair were ready to meet up with the whimsical Donal and friends. They stole into the night, admiring the stars and fluorescent shrubbery, as it morphed into a fuzzy haze around them. Strolling down the Malone, Dermot's hand gave way, falling limply at his side and releasing his cigarillo onto the tarmac. Oh dear, my hand seems to be failing me ... it's alright ..."

    Quite soon, they located young Donal and after some brief introductions, began following the woodland folk to the Lagan Meadows. They walked for ages, swapping stories and hearing about the mysterious meadows. Indeed the pair were intrigued!

    After an epic walk and a near mishap with their bamboo friend Stick Norris, they came across a glorious field. The group entered, and although Melissa was somewhat terrified, she tried to keep the bad

    2 Comments 250 weeks

  • Fun Times With Animals! (Slash, Melissa Gets Bored and Destroys The English Language)

    So I started a new game. It may have gotten a little out of hand.

    Jennifer Antelopez
    Spaniel L Jackson
    Moose Willis
    Puma Thurman
    Charlize Heron
    Owl Pacino
    Bull Murray
    Courtney Dove
    Beaver Green
    Zebra Messing
    Gerard Leopardieu
    Lionel Richie
    Heniffer Aniston
    Judge Rhinohold
    Gnu-Pac Shakur
    Squid Barrett
    Leonardo Dicatrio
    Impala Abdul
    Bat Damon
    Ethan Hawke (har har)
    Weasley Snipes
    Russell Crow
    Elkon John
    Mel Gibbon
    Mia Sparrow
    Ermine Granger (yeah, I'm allowed to use a fictional character)
    Michael J FOX
    Matthew Beary
    Britney Steers
    Robert Cowney Jr
    Christina Aguilemur (thunk up by Carl)
    Narwhalter Matthau (thunk up by Snorkill)
    Eel McPherson
    Beeyonce Moles
    Ant-thony Anderson
    John Stamoth
    Scott Bayleen
    Jason Bear
    Gazelle Bündchen
    Gnat Bellamy
    Ewean McGregor
    Llama Goatcroft (My personal favourite)
    Mare-iah Carey
    Walrussel Crowe
    Fawn Penn
    Jackal O
    Shrew Barrymore
    Woodchuck Norris
    Sarah Michelle Gullar

    It's pretty easy to pick up if you wanna play. Just combine a famous person's name with an animal that rhymes or is similar sounding. Do it.

    15 Comments 310 weeks

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  • Brad Mills
    Brad Mills

    I just snagged $801 in 4 days at home on the computer! Made it with - http://x.co/KTIp Your going to be so happy!

    11/21/10
  • Zara Richards
    Zara Richards

    IM CHILLING BY THE POOL 10 POUNDS SLIMMER! I JUST GAVE THIS NEW REVITILIZER PILL A TRY AND I LOST TEN POUNDS IN JUST 12 DAYS! GO TO WeightGreat.com TO GET YOUR SAMPLE PACK TOO!! kassem

    7/1/09 via Mobile
  • Aine L
    luv Aine L

    hey ho!!! so im of to new zealand soon, any pointers?? im out 2moro ill give u a shout!! btw. hpw u change ur bebo modules like that??

    4/12/09
  • Rachel Mcmullan
    luv Rachel Mcmullan

    hi how is ur job going miss ya loads xx

    4/10/09
  • Kane
    Kane

    I CANT BELIEVE WHAT I READ ABOUT YOU IN HIS BLOG! GO TO JASONSBEBOBLOG.COM TO SEE IT. IS IT TRUE??rous

    4/2/09 via Mobile
  • Emma Kate
    luv Emma Kate

    yea babe sure am....ive added you accept me Haha.....How are you??? Im doing design at massey in albany so living at the beach alone with my two pups haha still havnt met your cousins haha havnt seen harry or seb yet....horid ae i shud go c them....defs have too!!!! xx facebook next time haha xx

    3/2/09
  • Jamie Strange
    luv Jamie Strange

    Just deleted my bebo band site because the powers that be won't let me upload new songs... say I undermine the regime, cause their scared... doesn't bother me, it's like water off a ducks back. I will be uploading a new band site, and will send you a link... so... ah? I see you have a new profile photo.. black and white eh.. I used black and white once, but I have moved on to colour now so.. well done though, keep up the doodley.

    1/21/09
  • Eryn
    luv Eryn

    Hey plum! Ive just been in europe for a short excersion to see my whanau! It was AWESOME. Went to Berlin and Paris. (My Famms from Paris). Anyway, i have itchy feet now, so who knows maybe ill be seeing your ass over the other side of the world in the not tooo distant future. How _ARE_ you? Where you at? Etc Etc? Much love. Eryn

    1/13/09