"Will protect her family with tooth and nail."
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|my odd sayings||286 weeks ago|
|6675000000 people in this world and yet i ended up with your crazy ass as a friend. god damn im lucky!|
never take some one for granted... hold special people close to your heart.. because you might wake up oneday and realise that you've lost a dimond while you were too busy collecting stones.
if your heart is broken tell me, i'll get the glue! if your lost call me and i'll come find you! if your sad text me, its my job to make you smile! and if your happy let me know we'll celebrate vodka style!
Every time i see you.. i smile! when i see you walk.. i Laugh! when you speak.. i get excited! for some reason retarded people amuse the fuck out of me!
In my dream world.. wrinkles would be banished and choclate would be free, and every wealthy play boy would be in love with me, Household chores would disapear leaving time to natter. kids would simply raise them selfs and models would be fatter! but in my perfect fantasy wherefun would never end. id make sure that one thing stayed the same..... you'd always be my friend xx
Hi its me your mobile you havent got a message, i just wanted you to take me out of your pocket because your muff stinks.
One for us girls!..
I look at my friends
Then i look at me,
without my buddies where would i be?
where would i be without the girls?
Giggles and Tears,
Smiles and laughs,
Late night text and photographs.
We'll be there together until our last day,
Best girlies forever just wont fade away.
you like fuck dumb a is who person retarded another to send it now, this read to trying time a sweet your took you. ( now read it backwards)
|posted by Morgan.|
|friendship none of that sissy crap-|
1. when you are sad i willhelp you get drunk and plot revenge on the bastard who made you sad.
2. when your blue i will try to dislodge what is choking you.
3. when you smile i will know you are thinking somehting evil that i would want to be involved in.
4. when your sick stay the fuck away from me until your well again. i dont want it.
5. when you fall i will laugh at your clumsy arse but i'll help you up when i can laugh no more.
6. this is my oath... 'why?' because your my mate,
|Angels saw you getting tired & a cure was not to be, so they put their arms around you & whispered 'come to me!' With tearful eyes I watched you, & saw you pass away! Although i loved you dearly, i couldn't make you stay! A golden heart stopped beating, hard working hands at rest! They broke our hearts to prove to us, that they only take the best . Put this status if there is someone in Heaven you miss every day|
|paddy gets a letter in the post this morning, it says on the envelope DO NOT BEND. hes still wondering how hes going to pick it up!!|
|the lone ranger and tonto went camping in the desert. after they got their tent allset up, both men fell sound asleep, some hours later. tonto wakes the lone ranger and says " look towards the sky, what do you see?" the lone ranger replys " i see millions of stars" whats that tell you?" asked tonto. the lone ranger ponders for a minute then says " astronomically speaking it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. astrologically it tells me that saturn is in leo, time wise it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. theologically the lord is all powerful and we are small and insignificant, meteoroglically it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow" what does it tell you Tonto?" " your dumber than buffalo shit it means someone stole our tent"|
|to maintain a healthy level of insanity |
1. at lunch time sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars see if they slow down.
2. order a diet water whenever you go out to eat with a serious face.
3.when the money comes our the ATM scream 'I won!! I won!!'
4.when leaving the zoo, start running towards teh car park yelling ' run for your lives they're loose!!'
5. tell your childring over dinner, 'due to the ecomony, we are going to have to let one of you go'
And the best till last.
6. pick up a box of condoms at the pharmact go to the counter and ask where the fitting room is.
Send this to someone to make them smile.
its called therapy
|chirstmas is comin and my arse is getting fat, i hate fuckin chirstmas and santa is a twat. the credit crunch is on and times are really hard, so you can consider this your chirstmas card. |
scroll down and you'll see santas willy!!!
Act your fucking age
" there is no santa"
and what you want to see his cock for? WEIRDO!!!!
|police man pulls over Paddy for speeding, " have you been drnking sir?" |
Paddy replies " yes officer ive hd about 18 pints, 2 bottles of hooch and 6 bacardi and cokes"
Police man says " whatare you doing driving? "
Paddy replies " i couldnt walk"
|leaflet came through the door today, it said " if you are an Alcoholic, call this number"? |
So i did it was the fucking off licence!!!!
|A man goes into a library and assks for a book on suicide. the librarian says; " Fuck off, you won't bring it back."|
|Paddy the irishman, a scottish man and a english man died and went to heaven. St Peter told them they could not ge in unless they had something on them that represented xmas. the english mn produced a lighter and lit it and said a candle, St Peter let him in.|
the Scotchman produced a bnch of keys, shook them an said jingle bells, St Peter let him in.
Paddy dropped his trousers showing a 14inch dick, St Peter said what has that got to do with xmas to which Paddy replied is a fucking Cracker. :$
|things you can get away with saying Only when its chirstmas.|
1. tying the legs together so the insides stay moist
2. smother the butter all over the breasts
3.if i dont undo my trousers ill burst
4. its a little dry do you still want to eat it?
5.stuff it up between the legs as far as it will go
6. do you think you'll be able to handle alll these people at once
7.i didnt expect everyone to come at the same time
8. you still have a little bit on your chin
9.you'll know when its ready wen it pops up
10. im so full ive been gobbling nuts all morning
The girl reading this is beautifu,l amazing and strong and i love her. help her live her life to the fullest, protect her when she needs you the most an let her know that when she walks with you she will always be safe
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