Jordan Lee <MANCHESTER_UNITED_18>

"MUFC THE RELIGION"

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MANCHESTER UNITED235 weeks ago
 
You Scouse B*stard! (chant)
You scouse b*stard!

You scouse b*stard!...


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We Won It Three Times....
We won it three times,
We won it three ti-i-imes,
Without killing anyone,
We won it three times!


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In The Liverpool Slums
In the Liverpool slums,
They knock on the door when they want something to eat,
They find a dead rat and they think it's a treat,
In the Liverpool slums...

In the Liverpool slums,
Your Mum's on the beat and your Dad's in the nick,
You can't find a job 'coz you're too f*ckin' thick,
In the Liverpool slums...


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Build A Bonfire....Scousers On The Top - (to the tune of 'Oh My Darling Clementine')
Build a bonfire, build a bonfire
Put the scousers on the top.
Put the city in the middle
And burn the f*ckin lot...


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If You All Hate Scousers - (to the tune of 'If You're Happy and You Know It')
If you all hate scousers clap your hands [clap, clap, clap]
If you all hate scousers clap your hands [clap, clap, clap]
If you all hate scousers, all hate scousers,
all hate scousers, clap your hands...
[clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap,- continue clappiing for as long as possible, after clapping has stopped, start clapping again louder].


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If You Wanna Go To Heaven When You Die
If you want to go to heaven when you die,
You should keep the red flag flying high.
You should wear a red bonnet,
With f*ck the scousers on it.,
If you want to go to heaven when you die.


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Oh Merseyside Is Full of Sh*t - (to the tune of 'When The Saints Go Marching In')
Oh Merseyside! (Oh Merseyside!),
Is full of sh*t, (is full of sh*t),
Oh Merseyside is full of sh*t.
It's full of sh*t, sh*t, and more sh*t,
Oh Merseyside is full of sh*t...


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You Are A Scouser - (to the tune of 'You Are My Sunshine')
You're a scouser,
A ugly* scouser,
You're only happy on giro day.
When your dad's out stealing,
Your mum's drug-dealing,
But please don't take my scouser away. (* = 'ugly' also sang as 'thieving' or 'lonely')


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Are You Havin' A Laugh?
The city of culture?
Are you havin' a laugh?
City of Culture? Are you havin' a laugh!?


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Feed The Scousers - (to the tune of 'Do They Know It's Christmas?')
Feed the scousers,
Let them know it's Christmas time...
Feed the scousers,
Let them know it's Christmas time...


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He's Only A Poor Little Scouser
He's only a poor little scouser,
His face is all tattered and torn,
He made me feel sick,
So I hit him with a brick,
And now he don't sing anymore.


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Are You Watching Merseyside? - (to the tune of 'Oh Suzannah')
Are you watching?
Are you watching?
Are you watching Merseyside? -
Are you watching Mer-sey-side?


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Where's Your Famous Munich Song?
Where's your famous Munich song?
Where's your famous Munich song?
(In the days gone by, songs about the Munich Air Crash ('Who's that dying on the runway...?') were sang tastelessly with responses aimed at Shankly's death ('Who's that dying on the carpet...?') After the Hillsborough Disaster, Liverpool fans stopped singing about Munich, so United fans chanted, 'Where's Your Famous Munich Song?'. Singing about disasters/deaths in the football world have generally stopped now.)


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Hark Now Hear - (to the tune of 'Mary's Boy Child')
Hark now hear, United sing,
The scousers run away,
And we will fight for evermore,
Because of Boxing Day (Utd lost 3-0 at home to Liverpool on December 26th in 1978)


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If I Had The Wings Of A Sparrow....
If I had the wings of a sparrow,
The f*ckin' big a*se of a crow,
I'd fly over Anfield tomorrow,
And sh*t on the b*stards below!


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You'll Never Get A Job... - (to the tune of 'You'll Never Walk Alone')
Sign on, sign on, with hope in your heart,
cause you'll never get a job, you'll
never get a job, sign on, sign on, with hope in your heart....


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Get To Work You Lazy Tw*ts
Get to work you lazy tw*ts!,
Get - to - wor-k - you lazy tw*ts!


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Have You Ever Won The Treble?
Have you ever won the treble?
Have you f*ck!
Have you ever won the treble?
Have you f*ck!
Have you ever won the treble?
Ever won the treble?
Ever won the treble? Have you f*ck!


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Gary Neville Is A Red (to the tune of 'London Bridge Is Falling Down')
Gary Neville is a red, is a red, is a red,
Gary Neville is a red...
He hates Scousers!


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He Made The Scousers Cry!
Diego - woo oh oh oh
Diego - woo oh oh oh
He came from Uruguay
He made the Scousers cry!


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Who put the ball in the Scousers' net? (to the tune of 'Skip To My Lou')
Who put the ball in the Scousers' net?
Who put the ball in the Scousers' net?
Who put the ball in the Scousers' net?
Ole Gunnar Solskjaer...


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Who put the ball in the Scousers' net? - Version 2 (to the tune of 'Skip To My Lou')
Who put the ball in the Scousers' net?
Who put the ball in the Scousers' net?
Who put the ball in the Scousers' net?
Jerzy F*ckin' Dudek! (also sang about Jamie Carragher when putting in two own goals at Anfield!)


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He's Crackin' Up (to the tune of 'Football's Coming Home'')
He's crackin' up,
He's crackin' up,
He's crackin'
Rafa's crackin' up..


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Fat Spanish Waiter
Fat Spanish waiter
He's just a fat spanish waiter
Fat Spanish waiter
He's just a fat spanish waiter...


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Steve Gerrard, Gerrard (to the tune of 'Que Sera Sera')
Steeeeeve Gerrard, Gerrard,
He kisses the badge on his chest,
Then hands in a transfer request,
Steve Gerrard, Gerrard...


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Blame it on Traore (to the tune of 'Blame It On The Boogie')
Don't blame it on Hamann, Don't blame it on Biscan,
Don't blame it on Finnan, Blame it on Traore.
He just can't, he just can't, he just can't control his feet!
(sang after Traore's cock-up at Burnley that lead to Liverpool being knocked out of the FA Cup!)


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Phil Thompson chants
Sit down Pinocchio, sit down Pinocchio
Sit down Pinocchio, sit down Pinocchio

Get your nostrils off the pitch, get your nostrils off the pitch!


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F*ck McManaman, F*ck McAteer chant
Fuck McManaman, fuck McAteer,
Fuck McManaman, fuck McAteer,
Fuck McManaman, fuck McAteer,
They're f*cking queer! (When Paul Ince joined it became "F*ck McManaman, Ince, McAteer!)


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Jan Molby chant
You fat b*stard!

You fat b*stard!...


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Bruce Grobbelaar chant
Oh, Brucie, Brucie,
Brucie, Brucie, Brucie, Brucie,
Gobble shit.


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Ian Rush chant
Ian Rush, Ian Rush,
Ian, Ian, Rush,
He gets the ball,
And does f*ck all,
Ian, Ian, Rush.


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Sammy Lee chant
He's fat,
He's round,
He bounces on the ground,
Sammy Lee, Sammy Lee. (another version - "He's fat, he's bent, his arse is up for rent....")


If you know of any other songs or chants about Liverpool, contact us and we'll update our listings.

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Songs and Chants aimed at Manchester City
Manchester City are the most annoying of United's rivals. Don't believe their hype... Manchester is probably 90% red! In fact, you'll only find large numbers of blues in the suburbs of Stockport, Burnage, Macclesfield, Blackley and Didsbury. Not that any of them ever go to the games - their new ground, just like Maine Road, is often half empty. With Mark Hughes taking over as City's latest boss, there will be mixed feelings when it's derby day as Hughes will always be a United hero. City have failed to win anything for over 30 years, which always seems to give United fans a laugh. Even with the billionaire, Dr Sulaiman al-Fahim pumping his money into the club, it has seemed to make no difference.



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With A Billion In The Bank - (to the tune of 'Yellow Submarine')
City's going down with a billion in the bank,
A billion in the bank, a billion in the bank,
City's going down with a billion in the bank,
A billion in the bank, a billion in the bank
They're going down, they're going down
They're going down, they're going down
They're going down, they're going down
They're going down, they're going down.... (repeat but louder and clapping)


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Inside The Council House
We won the football league again, inside the council house
inside the council house, inside the council house,
We won the football league again, inside the council house
inside the council house...


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We Paid For Their Home
We paid for their home,
We paid for their home,
What a waste in council tax
We paid for their home.


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The Council House, Is Never Full
The council house is never full,
the council house is never full...
unless your playing Man United,
the council house is never full.


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This Is How It Feels To Be City - (tune of 'This Is How It Feels' by Inspiral Carpets)
This is how it feels to be city
This is how it feels to be small
This is how it feels when your team wins nothing at all
Nothing at all....


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My Old Man Said By A City Fan - (tune of 'Don't Dilly Dally On The Way')
My old man, said "be a city fan",
I said "f*ck off, you're a c*nt!",
"I'd rather shag a bucket with a big hole in it,
Than be a city fan for just one minute".

With hatchets and hammers,
Stanley knives and spanners,
We'll show those city b*stards how to fight (how to fight),
"I'd rather shag a bucket with a big hole in it,
Than be a city fan! (all together now)".


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U-N-I, T-E-D - (to the tune of 'Nick Nack Paddywack')
U-N-I, T-E-D
United are the team for me,
With a nick nack paddywack, give a dog a bone,
Why don't city f*ck off home.


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Lee Bummed Bell - (to the tune of 'Nick Nack Paddywack')
Lee bummed Bell, Bell bummed Lee,
Lee and Bell bummed Summerbee,
With a nick nack paddywack, give a dog a bone,
Why don't city f*ck off home.


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If I Die On The Kippax Street - (to the tune of 'Yankee Doodle')
If I die on the Kippax Street
Woo oh, woo oh.
If I die on the Kippax Street
Woo oh, woo oh.
If I die on the Kippax Street
There will be ten blue b*stards at my feet,
Woo oh, woo oh oh oh!

Use your head and use your feet
Woo oh, woo oh.
Use your head and use your feet
Woo oh, woo oh.
Use your head and use your feet
There will be ten blue b*stards at your feet,
Woo oh, woo oh oh oh!

If my bones do not mend
Woo oh, woo oh.
If my bones do not mend
Woo oh, woo oh.
If my bones do not bend
Will you carry me back to the Stretford End,
Woo oh, woo oh oh oh!"


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F*ck Off Back To Stockport - (to the tune of 'Let's All Do The Conga!')
F*ck off back to Stockport!
F*ck off back to Stockport!
la la la la, la la la la....


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Build A Bonfire... City In The Middle - (to the tune of 'Oh My Darling Clementine')
Build a bonfire, build a bonfire
Put the scousers on the top.
Put the city in the middle
And burn the f*ckin lot...


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Nobody Knows Your Name - (tune of 'Rupert The Bear - Everyone Knows His Name')
City -
Manchester City
Nobody knows your name....


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33 Years And Won F*ck All - (to the tune of 'The Camptown Races')
City is their name,
City is their name,
33 years and won f*ck all
City is their name. (obviously the number of years they haven't won anything changes each season!)


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Are You City In Disguise?
Are you City?
Are you City?
Are you City in disguise? (sang to poor opposition and City themselves!)


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City Are A Massive Club! - (to the tune of 'He's Got The Whole World In His Hands')
They've got the tallest floodlights in the Football League,
They've got the tallest floodlights in the Football League.
They've got the tallest floodlights in the Football League
Oh city are a massive club!

Other verses include...
They've got the widest pitch, in the land.
They take 15,000 to every away.
They've got 54 players but they're no f*cking good.
They've got Curly Watts as a celebrity fan.
They had the future England captain, but his cruciate went.
They won the Shamrock Trophy in '92.
They've got 3 stars on their new club badge.
They take 30,000 to every away.
They have a civic reception when they've won f*ck all.
They had a continental lazer blue Kappa kit.
They signed Spencer Prior on deadline day.
They've got the tallest corner flags in the world.
They had Ryan Giggs on schoolboy forms.
They take 60,000 to every away.
They've got a dirty old slapper with a rusty bell.
They empty Stockport when they play at home.
They've got the biggest bananas in the land.
They had a derby match with Macclesfield.
Their best ever player played for Ajax reserves.
They took quarter of a million to Ewood Park.
They tried to sign Geoff Thomas and he turned 'em down.
They've got salt and pepper on their hot dog stands.
They've got the greenest grass in the whole of the world.
They had a chairman and a manager that wore a wig.
They've got the Gallagher brothers in the Govenors.
They've got three million fans in Manchester.
They're the only team to come from Manchester.
They bought Steve Daly for a million quid.
They signed George Weah but he thought they played in red.
They had Colin Bell who was better than Best.
They sing racist chants cos they've got no class.
At last count, there was over 2,000 verses...


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City's Going Up But They're Going Straight Back Down - (to 'Yellow Submarine')
City's going up but they're going straight back down,
Going straight back down, going straight back down.
City's going up but they're going straight back down,
Going straight back down, going straight back down...
They're going up! but straight back down!
They're going u-uuup, but straight back down,
They're going up! but straight back down!
They're going u-uuup, but straight back down.... (repeat but louder and clapping)


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City's Going Down With A Russian On The Wing - (to 'Yellow Submarine')
City's going down with a Russian on the wing,
A Russian on the wing, a Russian on the wing,
City's going down with a Russian on the wing,
A Russian on the wing, a Russian on the wing...
(Originally the line was, "City's going down like a Russian Submarine'". The line being produced after a Russian submarine sank in August 2000. United fans soon decided to change it due to it's bad taste, and fittingly with Andrei Kanchelskis moving to City just afterwards in 2001 on a loan spell from Rangers, the United supporters had the perfect replacement for the lyrics of this song.)


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Cheer Up Kevin Keegan - (to the tune of 'Daydream Believer' by the Monkees)
Cheer up Kevin Keegan
Oh, what can it mean...
To a... Sad Geordie b*stard and a...
Sh*te football team....


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Can He Fix It? - (to the tune of 'Bob The Builder - Can He Fix It?')
Kevin Keegan,
Can he fix it?
Kevin Keegan,
Can he fuck!?


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5-0
One-two,
One,two, three,
One,two,three,four,
FIVE-NIL !


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Two Nil Up and F*cked It Up - (to the tune of 'The Camptown Races')
Two - nil up and f*cked it up,
City, City,
Two - nil up and f*cked it up,
City is our name.
City is our name,
City is our name,
Two - nil up and f*cked it up,
City is our name.


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You Thought You'd Beat Us 3-1 - (to the tune of 'Blue Moon')
Blue Moon, you started singing too soon,
You thought you'd beat us three - one,
And now Howard Kendall has gone.


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More chants aimed at City
We're the pride,
We're the pride,
We're the pride of manchester!
We're the pride of man-chest-errr.

Stockports, Stockports, what's the score?

Stockports, Stockports, give us a song.

Let's all laugh at city
ha ha ha ha

We f*ckin' hate city,
We f*ckin' hate city,
We f*ckin' hate...
We f*ckin' hate city!


If you know of any other songs or chants about Manchester City, contact us and we'll update our listings.

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Songs and Chants aimed at Chelsea
United and Chelsea fans have never got on. From the hooligan days of the 60's and 70's, the 80's skin-heads and the likes of Dennis Wise pissing the United fans off in the 1990's, it is fair to say, there is a clear North and South divide between the two clubs. Saying all that, the rivalry is more on the pitch nowadays as both teams fight for the Premiership each year. There was no trouble between the fans in Moscow which is of course is now famous for the penalty shoot out. The hatred between the two sets of supporters isn't there like it is with United and Liverpool, but no love is lost when the two top teams meet.


Viva John Terry... United fans singing in Moscow
Viva John Terry
Viva John Terry
Could've won the cup
but he f*cked it up
Viva John Terry

Where's The Special One? - (to the tune of 'Where's your mamma gone?')
Where's the special one?
Where's the special one...
Where's the special one?
Where's the special one...

Mourinho You Were Listening - (to the tune of 'Winter Wonderland')
Mourinho you were listening,
You'd kept our trophy glistening,
Coz we won it back and you got the sack
Walking in a Fergie Wonderland!

Mourinho Are You Listening? - (to the tune of 'Winter Wonderland')
Mourinho are you listening,
You'd better keep our trophy glistening,
Coz we'll be back in May to take it away,
Walking in a Fergie Wonderland!


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Sign On Mourinho - (to the tune of 'La Donna E Mobile from Verdi's Rigoletto')
Sign On Mourinho
Sign On Mourinho,
Sign On Mourinho
Sign On Mourinho!


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Chin Up Mourinho - (to the tune of 'La Donna E Mobile from Verdi's Rigoletto')
Chin Up Mourinho
Chin Up Mourinho,
Chin Up Mourinho
Chin Up Mourinho! (also sang as 'Cheer Up Mourinho')


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Sit Down Mourinho - (to the tune of 'La Donna E Mobile from Verdi's Rigoletto')
Sit down Mourinho
Sit down Mourinho,
Sit down Mourinho
Sit down Mourinho!


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F*ck Off Mourinho - (to the tune of 'La Donna E Mobile from Verdi's Rigoletto')
F*ck Off Mourinho
F*ck Off Mourinho,
F*ck Off Mourinho
F*ck Off Mourinho!


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Chelsea Rent Boys
(chant)
Chelsea rent boys!
Chelsea rent boys!
Hello! Hello...


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Where Were You On Tuesday night?
(sang at Old Trafford during the 2-0 win on Sunday 23rd September 2007, with reference to Chelsea's poor Champions League attendance at home to Rosenborg (29,973 - worst in 4 years) in what turned out to be Mourinho's last game)
Where were you on Tuesday night?
Where were you on Tuesday night?

(more ribbing from the United fans....)
Shall we fill a ground for you?
Shall we fill a ground for you?

(and even more piss-taking!)
Stamford Bridge, is never full,
Oh Stamford Bridge is never full,
unless your playing, Man United,
Oh Stamford Bridge is never full


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Where Were You When You Were Shit?
(chant)
Where were you when you were shit?
Where were you,
when you were shit?


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Peter Kenyon, You're A W*nker (chant)
Peter Kenyon,
You're A W*nker, you're a w*nker,
Peter Kenyon... (feel free to replace the name Peter Kenyon with Ashley Cole!)


If you know of any other songs or chants about Chelsea, contact us and we'll update our listings.

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Songs and Chants aimed at Arsenal
Depending on how close United and Arsenal are in the league has determined the rivalry between United and Arsenal. The focus has shifted from Wenger and his men to Chelsea in more recent years. Obviously, when Arsenal pipped United to the Premiership a number of times, the two sets of fans didn't get on. Things have got spicy due to the mad moments on and off the pitch with a number of famous clashes over the years like the Old Trafford brawl in October 1990, the after match battle between most of the Arsenal team and Van Nistelrooy, and the amusing verbals at Highbury between Keane and Vieria. The two teams met in the 2005 FA Cup Final where United outplayed the Gunners but got robbed on penalties, a game United fans will always want payback for. It is still regarded as one of the biggest games in the fixture calendar when the clubs meet, but generally, the two teams don't have the strongest of rivalries.


Packet of Sweets and A Cheeky Smile - (to the tune of 'Winter Wonderland')
One Arsene Wenger -
There's only one Arsene Wenger,
With a packet of sweets and a cheeky smile,
Wenger is a f*ckin' paedophile. (still sang but rather tasteless and uncalled for whatever we think of him)


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Sit Down You Paedophile - (to the tune of 'La Donna E Mobile from Verdi's Rigoletto')
Sit down you paedophile
Sit down you paedophile,
Sit down you paedophile
Sit down you paedophile!


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He Gave Giggsy The Ball
Viera - oh, oh, oh, oh-
Viera - oh, oh, oh, oh-
He gave Giggsy the ball
And Arsenal won f*ck all...


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Who Put The Ball In The Arsenal Net? - (to the tune of 'Skip To My Lou')
Who put the ball in the Arsenal net?
Who put the ball in the Arsenal net?
Who put the ball in the Arsenal net?
Half of f*cking Europe! (this song is a bit dated now but basically mocked Arsenal's European efforts!)


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Bertie Mee said to Matt Busby
Bertie Mee said to Matt Busby
"Have you heard of the North Bank Highbury?"
"No", said Matt,
"You cockney tw*t,
But I've heard of the Stretford - Enders!"


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You Only Sing Our Songs - (chant)
You only sing our songs,
You only sing our songs,
You only sing our songs!
Our songs!
You only sing our songs!..


If you know of any other songs or chants about Arsenal, contact us and we'll update our listings.

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Songs and Chants aimed at Leeds United
Out of all the rivalries, perhaps the one with Leeds United is probably the most violent. Leeds fans have always had a reputation for fighting and its no surprise that they treat matches with United as a derby match. Perhaps it's because there's so many reds living in Yorkshire, or the fact they don't have a more credible local rival that makes them so hostile to United. Whatever the reason, their singing of sick Munich songs and lack of respect during the minute silence following Sir Matt Busby's death, ensures the Yorkshire-Lancashire rivalry is a two way thing. Even though Leeds no longer play United as they are now two leagues from the Reds, as they currently scrap away in Division 1, you will still hear anti-leeds songs being sang at Old Trafford. Below you'll find the best of the songs about the 'Leeds scum'....


We All Hate Leeds
We all hate Leeds (Scum!)
We all hate Leeds (Scum!)
We a-ll hate Leeds (Scum!)
We all hate Leeds! (Scum!)


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Brian Kidd is still a Manc - (to the tune of 'London Bridge is Falling Down')
Oh Brian Kidd (oh Brian Kidd),
Is still a Manc, (is still a Manc).
Oh Brian Kidd is still a Manc,
He f*cked up Leeds United,
Oh Brian Kidd is still a Manc.


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Leeds Are Going Down - (to the tune of 'Yellow Submarine')
Leeds are goin' down and they're goin' f*ckin bust,
Goin f*ckin bust,
Goin f*ckin bust.
Leeds are goin' down and they're goin' f*ckin bust,
Goin f*ckin bust,
Goin f*ckin bust.

They're goin' bust,
They're goin' bust,
They're goin' bu-huh-ust,
They're going bust.
Leeds are goin' down and they're goin' f*ckin bust,
Goin f*ckin bust,
Goin f*ckin bust...


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Leeds Are Our Feeder Club - (to the tune of 'La Donna E Mobile from Verdi's Rigoletto')
Leeds are our feeder club,
Leeds are our feeder club.
Leeds are our feeder club.
Leeds are our feeder club!


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If You Follow Leeds United... - (to tune of the Jacob's Club advert)
If you follow Leeds United
Then you must be f*ckin' scum...


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You're Not Going Home - (to the tune of 'Knees Up Mother Brown')
You're not going home,
You're not going home.
You're not going,
You're not going,
You're not going home. (sang in response to Leeds' "You're Going Home in a St John's ambulance!")


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Chants about Leeds United
Sheep! Sheep! Sheepshaggers!...

Baa!.. Baa!... Baa!

You're scum, and you know you are...

Scum! Scum! Scum! Scum!


If you know of any other songs or chants about Arsenal, contact us and we'll update our listings.

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Songs and Chants aimed at England
The hatred between Manchester United and England fans is an unusual one that isn't often reported. Despite the fact over half of the national team also play for the reds, England fans still barrack and abuse them. Fans with those appalling St.George's Cross Man 'U' flags at Old Trafford are frowned upon with die-hard Reds and anti-England songs are heard at most games. The reason for this rivalry is unclear - sure, United fans have never been patriotic (hence The Republic Of Mancunia), and United away trips to Europe often involve parties with the opposition's fans (especially with the Germans - although this goes unreported). England fans, over the years, however prefer to riot and fight their way around Europe which has resulted in the English getting a name for themselves, so when United do travel to the likes of Roma, the dodgy Italian police think, "here's another English hooligan, let's give them a good belting!" Yes, United fans aren't all angels but the majority are there for the game. England fans have a hardcore of nutters who either boo or slag their team off when times are tough, throw tables and chairs in the town squares, and generally give the English, a nasty reputation. The fact that England are followed by the likes Manchester City and Bolton fans (fans from clubs who never win anything), fuels the hatred towards the national team from a large section of Reds. The away teams who come to Old Trafford have been quick to sing anti-Beckham and anti-Rooney songs, even though when they play for England, they suddenly become heroes. Beckham got death threats when he got sent off in the World Cup for England, whereas United fans stood by him. Obviously the most recent United player to get the abuse is Ronaldo after his incident with Rooney in the World Cup - the cheeky wink and winning penalty. Although Rooney and Ronaldo are close pals, England fans and United's rivals will always use that incident against Ronaldo, whereas United fans adore him even more due to the Portugal v England game. With Carlos Tevez playing in the United shirt, it's another opportunity for United fans to sing anti-England songs, as the forward from Argentina is a new hero at the club, and obviously, England fans hate Argentina as they continue to sing about the Faulklands.


Stick Your F*ckin England Up Your A*se - (to the tune of 'She'll Be Coming Round The Mountain')
You can stick your f*ckin England up your a*se!
You can stick your f*ckin England up your a*se!
You can stick your f*ckin England,
Stick your f*ckin England,
Stick your f*ckin England up your a*se (sideways)...


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United are better than England -
We all agree -
United are better than England...

We all agree -
[opposition's name] are better than England...

We all agree -
city are better than England...


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Heskey For England - (chant)
Heskey for England!

(United fans sarcastically sing about a player from the opposition, such as Emile Heskey and suggest he is so shit, he should be playing for England).


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England's Number 1 - (chant)
England's Number 1, England's, England's Number 1...

(United fans sarcastically sing about an England goalkeeper who is playing so poor, he should be wearing the number one jersey for his country).


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Let's All Laugh At England... - (to tune of the 'Let's all do the Conga!")
Let's all laugh at England -
Let's all laugh at England -
Ha, ha, ha,ha!
Ha, ha, ha,ha...


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We hate England! - (chant)
We hate Eng-er-land!
We are Manchester!...


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Argentina
AR-GEN-TINA!
AR-GEN-TINA!
(This chant was used for Gabriel Heinze but now he's left for Real Madrid, the United fans have kept the chant for the new Argentina star, Carlos Tevez. This chant winds up the rival fans who are big England lovers!)


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That Boy Ronaldo...
He plays on the left,
He plays on the right.
That Boy Ronaldo,
Makes England look shite! (originally, 'England' was 'Beckham' but after Portugal knocked out England in the World Cup, the lyrics were altered pleasing many United fans as Beckham was a United legend!)


If you know of any other songs or chants about England, contact us and we'll update our listings.

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Songs and Chants aimed at Other Teams
United fans can also dish it out to other clubs, aswell as their main rivals. We have added a few songs the Red Army sings to their opposition...


In Your Cup Final - (to the tune of 'Go West')
2-0 in your cup final,
2-0 in your cup final,
2-0 in your cup final,
2-0 in your cup final!
(when United are leading, the song gets dished out as a double insult - they are losing and in their biggest game of the season, their 'cup final')


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One Stand Bigger Than Your Ground - (to the tune of 'She'll Be Coming Round The Mountain')
We've got one stand bigger than your ground,
We've got one stand bigger than your ground,
We've got one stand bigger,
We've got one stand bigger,
We've got one stand bigger than your ground!


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You Support A Load of Sh*t - (chant)
You support a load of sh*t,
You support, a load of sh*t...

(This is the common response to the rival fans singing, "Do you come from Manchester?").


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Can You Hear? ...
Can you hear the (opposition name) sing?
noooooooooo, noooooooooooo
Can you hear the (opposition name) sing?
noooooooooo, noooooooooooo
Can you hear the (opposition name) sing
I can't hear a f*ckin' thing (Waooo aoooo (argh!))


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F*ck off to the Championship - (chant)
F*ck off to the Championship, f*ck off to the Championship,
F*ck off to the Championship, f*ck off to the Championship...
(Sang to the likes of West Ham and Leeds and other fodder who battle in the relegation zone!)


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Going Down... - (chant)
Going Down, Going Down,
Going Down, Going Down...
(a favourite with all football fans)


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We'll Never Play You Again - (chant)
Again... We'll never play you again, We'll never play you again,
We'll never play you again...
(when United's opposition are facing the drop from the Premiership, they may get this treatment)


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Inbreds, Inbreds... - (chant)
Inbreds,
What's the score?
Inbreds, inbreds,
What's the score? (aimed at the likes of Blackburn and other 'Deliverance' towns)


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Going home to sh*g your sister - (chant)
Home to sh*g your sister,
You're going home to sh*g your sister,
Home to sh*g your sister,
You're going home to sh*g your sister.


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The Blackburn Family - (to the tune of 'The Adams Family')
Your father is your brother
Your sister is your mother
They're F***ing one another
The Blackburn Family.



 posted by Jordan Lee 

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