Francisco Montague Zanzibar <Joe__Robinson>

"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me"

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[McBAIN/RAINIER WOLFCASTLE QUOTES]342 weeks ago
 

!"Three divorces in three months, what can I say, I'm a romantic." !

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!"My eyes! The goggles do nothing!"!

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!"My Ferrari! I had to do awful things to pay for her!"!

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!"I have purchased the Springfield YMCA. I plan to tear it down and turn the land into a nature preserve. There, I will hunt the deadliest game of all... man." (When Lenny flees the room he cocks a rifle and says) "The hunt begins" !

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!"Now for my Woody Allen impression. 'I'm a neurotic nerd who likes to sleep with little girls."!

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!"Sarah, if tears could burst through my muscular ducts, I would cry like a baby that's just been hit with a hammer!"!

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!"Sherman, I just realised you insulted me! Now you will die!" [Withdraws a semiautomatic]!

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!While selling his possessions, including the pornographic movies he made as a young man: (Homer) "Hey, are any of these hetero?" (Wolfcastle) "What's there is there."!

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!Appearing as a small child in a sausage commercial, sung to the Oscar Mayer tune: "Mein bratwurst has a first name, it's F-R-I-T-Z. Mein bratwurst has a second name, it's S-C-H-N-A-C-K-E-N-P-F-E-F-F-E-R-H-A-U-S-E-N."!

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!"Who else should be mayor but me? A steroid-abusing, pot-smoking, woman-groping, son of a Nazi, washed-up movie star? (crowd cheers) I think we should keep an open mind toward stem cell research." (crowd boos)!

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!(Wolfcastle appears at a high profile event looking disheveled in a ripped tuxedo; Kent Brockman mentions that he's been "out of work"): "Somebody, please give me job. I play nerd, I do nude scene. Don't make me punch your throat!"!

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!Director: Up and atom!
McBain: Up and at them.
Director: Up and ATOM!
McBain: Up and atdem!
Director: UP AND ATOM!
McBain: UP AND ATEM!
Director: .. Better.!

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!Mcbain: That outfit makes you look like a homosexual.
Audience: Booooo!!!
Mcbain: Maybe you all are homosexuals, too.!

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!McBain: Leave me a message after the beep..BUT DON'T BE A MESSAGE HOG USING UP ALL MY TAPE!

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!Woman: Well, you certainly broke up that meeting.
Mcbain: Right now I'm thinking about holding another meeting?In bed.!

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{And the best one of all}

!Rainier Wolfcastle: Here is a clip from my new movie, it's a mixture of action und comedy, it's called 'McBain, Let's Get Silly!'

Clip from film:
McBain: Have you ever noticed how men always leave the toilet seat up? (no reaction from audience) That's the joke!

Audience Member: You suck McBain!

McBain pulls out machine gun and fires upon the audience, screams of pain are heard!

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!Wolfcastle: "The film is just me in front of a brick wall for an hour and a half. It cost $80 million." (discussing his new movie McBain: Let's Get Silly)
Jay Sherman: (in disgust) "How do you sleep at night?!"
Wolfcastle: "On top of a pile of money, with many beautiful ladies."
Jay Sherman: "Just asking. Yeesh."





 posted by Francisco Montague Zanzibar 

3 Comments:

Jesus Crowe said...1/3/07
 
You suck McBain!
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Adam McGahan said...1/5/07
 
(McBain pulls out machine gun and fires upon the audience, screams of pain are heard!) haha thats genius lik
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Rosie KinQUEER said...1/28/07
 
i IWSHED i sucked mcbain... lol best line ever
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