"should we go ta mass for the sneer..? :L"
|CHUCK NORRIS!!!!! XD||12/28/07|
|Chuck Norris once kicked a baby elephant into puberty.|
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse, horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
A ducks quack does not echo. Chuck Norris is solely responsible for this phenomenon. When asked why he will simply stare at you, grimly.
Chuck Norris does not use condoms because there is no protection from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn?t believe in Germany.
Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't fuck with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.
Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never.
Chuck Norris doesn?t need to swallow when eating food.
If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? Chuck Norris.
Ironically, Chuck Norris?s hidden talent is invisibility.
Chuck Norris owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, a green number 4 from Uno and a monopoly a get out of jail free card.
Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ass, don?t be offended or hurt, he maybe just trying to tell you he likes your hat.
Chuck Norris invented water.
One time while sparring with Wolverine, Chuck Norris accidentally lost his left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its technical term: Jupiter.
Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalkers real father.
Chuck Norris doesn't have nightmares. nightmares have Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris falls in water he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norrised.
Before the Boogy man goes to sleep he checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris's tears can cure cancer??. to bad he doesn?t cry.
Chuck Norris does not sleep, he waits.
The dinosaurs never died. Chuck Norris just grew out of dinosaurs.
If you kill Chuck Norris it only makes him mad.
Chuck Norris once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
|The Llama Song Lyrics (YAY!!!)||8/13/07|
|Here's a llama|
There's a llama
And another little llama
I was once a treehouse
I lived in a cake
But I never saw the way
The orange slayed the rake
I was only three years dead
But it told a tale
And now listen, little child
To the safety rail
Did you ever see a llama
Kiss a llama
On the llama
Tastes of llama
Half a llama
Twice the llama
not a llama
Llama in a car
Alarm a llama
Is THIS how it's told now?
Is it all so old?
Is it made of lemon juice?
Now my song is getting thin
I've run out of luck
Time for me to retire now
And become a duck
|The Funny/Stupid But Sorta Cleaver things People Think Of!?!?!?!?!?!||6/16/07|
|Isn't it scary that the word "therapist" is the same as the words "the" and "rapist" put together?|
Do stairs go up or down?
If you mated a bull dog and a shitsu, would it be called a bullshit?
Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?
Can you breathe out of your nose and mouth at the same time?
Are marbles made of marble?
If you pay for a vacation and your plane crashes on the way there, do you get you money back? (Granted you lived)
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?
Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?
If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible?
Why is it that if something says, "do not eat" on the packaging it becomes extra tempting to eat?
Why is it that when things get wet they get darker, even though water is clear??
Can mute people burp?
Do they have girl?s bathrooms in gay bars?
Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?
If you were a genie and a person asked you this wish, "I wish you would not grant me this wish" what would you do?
Why are Pringles curved?
What would happen if you were under house arrest and you lived in a mobile home?
Can you cry under water?
Why is it that when we are humming and then we plug our nose, our humming stops? Do people really hum through their nose, or their mouths?
Why do birds bob their heads when they walk?
How do they get those boats in those glass bottles?
......why am i writin all dis...???
well if you actually managed to get to the end of all this your life is pointless, meaningless and.....erm....lacks direction!!!! but i'm sure you've already had the time to figure that out!!!!!