Emily Louise <Emolii>

"The Lord is my shepherd!"

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..................................­..2/2/09
 
Blood-Fetishist:
Someone who is erotically attracted to the sight, taste or smell of blood; he or she generally has no physical need to consume it, and will usually be happy with small amounts.
Blood Junkie:
A derogatory term for someone who experiences the physical need to consume blood; a sanguinarian (see also ?the Thirst?, ?sanguinarian?). Particularly refers to one who has no control over his/her thirst and goes around feeding indiscriminately.
Bloodletting:
The physical act of cutting or piercing the flesh in order to extract blood. This is commonly used for feeding as well as in bloodplay and fetishism.
Clinical vampirism:
A psychological condition, such as Renfield?s Syndrome, in which the afflicted person experiences a psychological urge to drink blood. This urge is often satisfied with their own blood, and sufferers of clinical vampirism typically bear slashes from razors and knives up and down their arms from where they have drawn blood from themselves. Particularly sociopathic forms of clinical vampirism drive sufferers to attack and sometimes (although rarely) even kill other people in order to drink their blood.
A related condition is known as SMS, or Self-Mutilation Syndrome. This newly named pathology is becoming alarmingly common in American youths. Sufferers of SMS, often known as ?cutters?, feel the need to cut into their flesh and watch themselves bleed. Some sufferers of SMS also drink the blood drawn out this way, although this is not standard for the disease. Most sufferers of SMS are redirecting feelings of anger, frustration, inadequacy, or emotional pain onto their bodies. (See ?Self-Mutilation Syndrome?, and ?Renfield?s Syndrome?.)
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hmm.1/18/09
 
you try your best to be truthful and honest,
and to do the right thing.
but it all eventually falls through.

I am truely sorry to those i have hurt in the past
and i am sorry for my mistakes.
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Moonwalkers (me??)12/24/08
 
Moonwalkers, in general, are good, kind people who feel detached from society, approximately one in every eight hundred million people on Earth is a Moonwalker. It doesn't run in the blood, but these individuals are chosen by the Cosmic Dance as its children, which in time learn how to use their granted powers. Some Moonwalkers are neutral, or apathetic so their powers simply fizzle out before they began, and may never find their stars. Other Moonwalkers are evil, and though they do not have the ability to transform into Metal Moonwalkers, they usually have a feel for who may and may not be a Moonwalker. Amazingly enough, they are rarely evil in the beginning, but become currupt. Coincidently, they favor becomming polititions and CEO's, and many of them are quite rich.

Good Moonwalkers are often child-like in their attitudes towards life. They love to live, and live to love. They are generally kindhearted and give their time, attention, and money freely to a good cause. Many times they take up music, since after all, they do revel in the Cosmic Dance. They love to goof around, but when it becomes time to get serious, they can become dangerous advisaries to those who would dare to mess around with the peace they know in their hearts and minds. They beleive that within every person's heart is a song, and if they can bring out the song in that person they have bettered that person's life. They also beleive that peace is very possible if people would only listen to their hearts. Good Moonwalkers often adopt a pet cause, generally for the good of society and the environment. Good Moonwalkers (who are also called "True Moonwalkers") can recognize another good Moonwalker simply by sight (Better explained later)

Neutral Moonwalkers aren't really Moonwalkers at all. They have no powers.

Evil Moonwalkers are NOT true Moonwalkers. To those who have fought against them (namely, the good Moonwalkers!!) call them "The Dark Ones". They have strayed somewhat from what it means to be a Moonwalker, and wish to destroy the Earth. Just think President George W. Bush with PMS and you get a Dark One. Dark ones often will become polititions, or CEOs because they constantly search for power, to fill the gape that not being able to transform into Metal Moonwalkers. It is said that they gave up the ability so that they could faintly feel a buzzing in the back of their neck when a True Moonwalker is near, and know exactly where other Dark Ones are. Dark Ones are rarely dark when they first become Moonwalkers, but after finding a Black Hole to serve as their link to the Cosmic Dance they leave the path of light, and turn to darkness.


BECOMMING A MOONWALKER No one knows exactly how a Moonwalker is chosen (except perhaps Michael and Jon, but as far as I know, they're not saying!), but finding out you are a Moonwalker often begins very young. A Moonwalker child is often lonely, but not bitter. They wouldn't fit in with other children, but are very bright and often take to the arts as a form of expression. Many like to sing as young children. Some are seen as gifted with poetry.

During the teenage years, something inside them changes. They often will have nightmares. They hear a distant, faint call, and take a look at the world around them. Too many seem to say "There is nothing I can do." and be apathetic to the Moonwalker path, and thus fall to become neutral and loose any powers. Others look and say "I can change this!" and begin to receive tutilage from the Cosmic Dance instead of nightmares.

Usually it's in their twenties (but sometimes it happens younger) when they make the next big desicion about their lives. They now know what they are, and how to use their powers. Dark Ones are formed at this time, for the later they choose the star, the more likely they will be sour to the world. The True Moonwalkers have a certain loneliness in their hearts when it comes to the Dark Ones, if there were two moonwalker children in an area, are often times friends, but the friendship dies and a peice of the True Moonwalkers dies with the Dark Ones.

"Choosing a Star" and "Finding a Star" are different things for a Moonwalker. Choosing is often what leads to being a Dark One, and the star (or black hole more often) is chosen because you feel puhed. "Finding a Star" is a more patient method where the star chooses you, often used by True Moonwalkers, and often times they lead to a bright star that sometimes others (save for other Moonwalkers) can't see.

Any Magic that requires "Calling a Star" can NOT be used until a star is found.
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MOON12/20/08
 

The Sagittarius Moon is a clear-thinking and quick-minded Moon. This Moon will set goals and have no problem in attaining them. However, there is a tendency to overspend because of the overwhelming belief that things are there to be bought and enjoyed. Basically, this is a charming Moon with a deep love of travel. It is also spontaneous, freedom-loving and optimistic. The Satittarius Moon prefers not to be tied down and, by nature, is a kind and gentle Moon. This Moon has a deep desire to learn and pursue intellectual activities.

In general, the personality of those whose Moon sign is in Sagittarius will absolutely adore the great outdoors. There is an immense love for the feeling of freedom here. Others perceive Sagittarius Moon indidividuals as active with a fondness for travel and sports...not to mention the air of joviality (derived from Jove or Jupiter, the Ruling Planet of Sagittarius). However, when such individuals are not outside, they often appear restless in every sense of the word...physically, mentally, intellectually and emotionally. These are people who act first and think later, a trait which is usually most apparent..and harmful...during conversation. Such individuals say whatever is on their minds, put simply and in a rather blunt manner. In short, they are far from diplomatic and should avoid careers where diplomacy is a must. Indeed, with regard to occupations as a whole, there is a tendency to change employment frequently or have more than one vocation. Overall, Sagittarius Moon persons are usually good-natured, kind and honest. They are perceptive of others' emotions and, if someone is hurt, may even take it personally. Nevertheless, there is an obvious short temper associated with those governed by this Moon although, on a more positive note, they are also quick to forgive and will hardly ever hold a grudge. These individuals make for good teachers due to their perspective on life and are able to perceive the possible outcome of events long before they ever occur...hence the oftentimes favorite phrase of those who are ruled by the Sagittarius Moon: "I told you so!" The intuition here is strong and the dreams of such people frequently come true. This could possibly indicate a psychic influence, but with the Sagittarius Moon, nothing is ever sure. These people are simply unable to stay in one place for very long since the desire for movement is well-nigh overwhelming. Independence is greatly valued by Sagittarius Moon persons, as is freedom of spirit. They are adaptable and attract many friends who warm instantly to the inherent gregarious nature. Not necessarily materialistic, the Sagittarius Moon subject feels that experience will always count for more than the acquisition of objects. There is a firm belief in justice and fair play here, coupled with a desire to help out anyone who is in need, or who has been treated unfairly. Perhaps the worse fault of those ruled by the Sagittarius Moon is that of over-optimism and it will be necessary to learn a realistic approach through experience and the lessons of life.
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After12/6/08
 
letter after letter, word after word, line after line and i feel no better
Smile after smile, tear after tear, act after act and im still no better
Thought after thought, sigh after sigh, beat after beat, still the same
second after second, minute after minute, hour after hour > and this is my life

chorus
Watch it pass away, minute by minute, hour by hour
Watch it die away, smile after smile, tear after tear
Why am i still here, today?

Slice after slice, Bite after bite, plate after plate, do i feel much better?
Cut after cut, graze after graze, burn after burn oh i feel much better
Drink after drink, toke after toke, sniff after sniff, oh this pain is easing
Girl after girl, boy after boy, then there was you
who made me feel

chorus

Step after step, run after run, walk after walk, you made me like this
Game after game, lie after lie, tear after tear, we have to change this

chorus

Tomorrow is the future
today is the past
why cant we look forward
Instead of looking back
i'll always need you
And il always be there
in body or mind or soul
or in spirit

chorus

xxxxxxxxxxxxx
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NEW SONG7/22/08
 
Ive been staring at the same point on this wall for hours
these thoughts just keep circling through my head
the lights have dimmed black, im not looking back
my feelings have one, my hearts made of stone

Whispering thoughts into my head, You've perfect control
now youve got what you wanted, but you cant seem to let go
Youre killing me so slowly, within myself im lost
My feelings have gone, my hearts made of stone

chorus
Second after second, thought after thought
you know how to control me, to cause the pain you sought
person after person, heart after heart
killing people, breaking them

Give me that look and im stod there like putty in your hands
Im so messed up, performing every command
No, its not in me, to hurt anyone
But these feelings have gone, my hearts made of stone

chorus
solo

After all youve done to me, these feelings still stand
now youve let go of my life, its there in my own hands
I dont know what to do or if i will pull through
But i'll start to live my life without you

chorus
Second after second, thought after thought
you know how to control me, to cause the pain you sought
person after person, heart after heart
killing people, breaking their hearts
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Breathe today lyrics (flyleaf)7/6/08
 
You try your hardest
to perfect your explination
you lie until they've run out
of questions

You can only move as fast as,
Who's in front of you,
And if you assume,
Just like them,
What good will it do,
So find out for yourself
So your ignorance,
Will stop bleeding through.

only one thing
big enough to fill the void
that's inside of you
it's just a breath away
you can breathe today

So many lies swirling,
around you,
You're suffocating,
The empty shape in you,
Steals your breath,
You're suffocating.

Logic forces me to
believe in this,
And I have learned to see,
And I can only say
what I've seen and
heard,
And only you can choose,
And every choice you make
will effect you,
Search your own self.

You can breathe today

So many lies swirling,
around you,
You're suffocating,
The empty shape in you,
Steals your breath,
You're suffocating.

Breathe!!!

Big enough to fill
the void that's
inside of you,
It's just a breath away.

So many lies swirling,
around you,
You're suffocating,
The empty shape in you,
Steals your breath,
You're suffocating.

you can breathe today

breathe today
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u really have no idea.....just how much i love u6/27/08
 
if i meant half as much to u as u mean to me...then there wouldnt b a situation like there is at this moment in time
i think of u every second of every day
i look for u whenever i know ur around
i gaze at u from afar
im only here 4 u
i know im loosing myself
ur the only 1 that knows me 4 who i truely am

il always love u

x
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EVERY SONG!6/21/08
 
I still recall the taste of your tears
Echoing your voice just like the ringing in my ear
My favorite dreams of you still wash ashore
Scraping through my head 'til I don't want to sleep anymore

You make this all go away
You make this all go away
I just want something
I just want something I can never have

You always were the one to show me how
Back then I couldn't do the things that I can do now
This thing is slowly taking me apart
Grey would be the color if I had a heart

Come on tell me
You'll make this all go away
You'll make this all go away
I'm down to just one thing
And I'm starting to scare myself
You'll make this all go away
You'll make this all go away
I just want something
I just want something I can never have

In this place it seems like much a shame
Though it all looks different now
I know it's still the same
And everywhere I look you're all I see
Just a fading reminder of who I use to be

Come on tell me
You'll make this all go away
You'll make this all go away
I'm down to just one thing
And I'm starting to scare myself
You'll make this all go away
You'll make this all go away
I just want something
I just want something I can never have
I just want something I can never have
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.......erm....every song! xx6/21/08
 
My hands are searching for you
My arms are outstretched towards you
I feel you on my fingertips
My tongue dances behind my lips for you

This fire rising through my being
Burning I'm not used to seeing you

I'm alive, I'm alive

I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I'm breathing
Holding on to what I'm feeling
Savoring this heart that's healing

My hands float up above me
And you whisper you love me
And I begin to fade
Into our secret place

The music makes me sway
The angels singing say we are alone with you
I am alone and they are too with you

I'm alive, I'm alive

I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I'm breathing
Holding on to what I'm feeling
Savoring this heart that's healing

And so I cry
The light is white
And I see you

I'm alive, I'm alive, I'm alive

I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I'm breathing
Holding on to what I'm feeling
Savoring this heart that's healing

Take my hand
I give it to you
Now you own me
All I am
You said you would never leave me
I believe you
I believe

I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I'm breathing
Holding on to what I'm feeling
Savoring this heart that's healed
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