Bettie Spaghetti <hubbabubba_nightmare>

"you took that song and you made it your own."

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how to get a girl and keep her in 27 easy steps...9/26/07
How to get and keep a girl in 27 easy steps:

1. when she asks how she looks shrug and say "could be better" this will keep her on her toes. and girls love that.

2. never hold her hand. this can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. (or if she grabs your hand squeeze hers really really hard until she cries. this will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.)

3. once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. girls are like dogs. they love to be roughed up.

4. call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. if she is say you better be , repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. this will show her you care.

5. when she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. this will pave the way for her own personal improvement. and every girl needs some improvement.

6. recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most. then when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them. because jewelry is for pussies and asian ladies.

7. if youre talking to another girl, make sure shes looking. When she is, stare into her eyes mouth the words @#%$ you and grab the other girls ass. Girls love competition.

8. tell her you're taking her out to dinner. drive for miles so she thinks it's going to be really special. then take her to a burning tire yard. when she starts to get upset tell her you were just kidding and now you're really going to take her to dinner. then drive her home. when she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear "...because i can."

9. introduce her to your friends as "some chick". women love those special nicknames.

10. play with her hair. play with it HARD.

11. warm her up when shes cold...and not by giving her your jacket... then you might get cold. rather, look her in the eye and say "if you don't stop bitching about the cold right now you're going to be bitching about a black eye." the best way to get warm is with fear.

12. Take her to a party. When you get there she'll have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the partys dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you at the party.

13. make her laugh. a good way to do this is if she has a small pet. kick the pet. i always find stuff like that funny. why shouldn't girls?

14. let her fall asleep in your arms. when she's fast asleep, wait 10 minutes then JUMP UP AND SCREAM IN HER EAR! repeat until she goes home and you can use your arms for more important things. like basketball.

15. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit.

16. if you care about her never ever tell her. this will only give her self confidence. then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be.

17. Every time youre in her house steal one of the following: shoes, earrings, or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way shell go crazy.

18. Take her out to dinner. Right when shes about to order interrupt and say no shes not hungry. make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy that speaks for her.

19. look her in the eyes and smile. then clock her one. girls love a spontaneous guy.

20. give her one of your t-shirts......and make sure it has your smell on it. but not a sexy cologne smell. a bad smell. you know what i'm talking about.

21. When its raining keep asking her if shes crying. She'll say no its just the rain ten minutes later turn to her and just scream at her to stop crying you @#%$ baby. Girls like a tough man as i've already stated.

22. Titty twisters and plenty of them.

23. if youre listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no. this way she'll think you're mysterious.

24. remember her birthday but don't get her something. Teach her material objects arent important. The only thing thats important is that she keeps you happy. And your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get.

25. When your out for dinner, show her a chair then pull it away just as shes going to sit down, this way she'll never look at anything else but you.

26. When yer watchen tele and her favourite program comes on turn off the tele anyone want to finish it....!!!

27.If ya think the girl looks nice tell her she looks fat and ugly...this way she'll think that shes luckey to have you and never stray away from home!
 1 Comment 
lettuce 8/31/07
is a juicy veg.
the kings of leon album is...8/29/07
has anyone tried those tiny wEEEeatabix ? 7/18/07
you think they'll never fill you up...try eating half a box of them. i dont like this game anymore. puke.
i wanna blow up with a gay bomb gay your face non believers! 7/12/07
"Gay bomb" is an informal name for a theoretical non-lethal chemical weapon, which a United States Air Force research laboratory speculated about producing.

In 1994 the Wright Laboratory in Ohio produced a three-page proposal of a variety of possible nonlethal chemical weapons, which was later obtained?complete with marginal jottings and typos?by the Sunshine Project through a Freedom of Information Act request.

In one sentence of the document it was suggested that a strong aphrodisiac could be dropped on enemy troops, ideally one which would also cause "homosexual behavior". The aphrodisiac weapon was described as "distasteful but completely non-lethal". In its "New Discoveries Needed" section, the document implicitly acknowledges that no such chemicals are actually known. The document also included many other off-beat ideas, such as spraying enemy troops with bee pheromones and then hiding numerous beehives in the combat area.
 1 Comment 
oh my god i hate mika7/11/07
oh my GOD i hate mika
maoam M A O A M...4/1/07
ive just discovered how AWESOME they are.

also today i saw a garfield teddy that was bigger than me. imagine all the lasagne he would have to eat to get that big. i want him. lazy fat huge cat.

it's 4 am i think im going crazy and i cant stop watching sabrina the teenage with. ok one more episode then to bed.
so after thinking that he couldn't get any worse ...after getting an ex prostitute who was sharing her story in order to help other women, to have to explain what she did to men's willys by asking question after question about how she held it even tho she was c-learly trying to avoic talking about the actual willys themselves, gerry ryan actually said to joan rivers ..ahem ahem ...instead of sitting on people's face's do you take your knickers off and sit on lasagne?

i had my very first near death experience last nite, does that mean death is after me?

cue chain of elaborate events that result in gemma being electrocuted. MWAHAHaa
dear bloggy....12/31/06
oh jesus h christ. i decided that i'd expand my thousands of hours wasted on the internet by joining myspace.....there i was la la la becoming friends with fake famous people when all of a sudden i got a friend request from another quaint i thought while puffing on my pipe, i accepted her as a friend and trotted along to her site. i noticed that all the other people that she was talking to were also called una.....slightly less quaint now, slightly more single white female about to come true, so i made a comment along the lines of "ha ha this is a bit nuts all the unas and all", with the subtle undertone (what the fuck is up with how im talking !!?? i blame oliver twist on tv the other day, little orphan prick) of please dont hunt me down on the internet and hack off my head to keep in a jar along with all the other unas ur meeting. so i forgot about it till she left me a message there saying that she too was taurus, and that her birthday was april 28th.... (FYI that's my birthday, birks...)

it doesnt have my birthday on my profile.

so if i dont make it back to galway next week, it's been great knowing you guys, jenny look after gemma she is black and all. mary u can have the mould on my wall ..keeps you company.
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