Lollypop <alienfruitloop>

"♫Tonight is steak night, We're gonna eat it right, Steak is such a treat, it is the worlds best meat!♫"

chav jokes10/28/07
 
1. What do you call a Chav in a box?
Innit.

2. What do you call a Chav in a filing cabinet?
Sorted

3. What do you call a Chav in a box with a lock on it?
Safe.

4. What do you call an Eskimo Chav?
Innuinnit.

5. Why are Chavs like slinkies?
They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight of
stairs.

6. What do you call a Chavette in a white tracksuit?
The bride.

7. You're in your car and you see a Chav on a bike, why should you try
not to hit him?
It might be your bike.

8. What's the difference between a Chav and a coconut?
One's thick and hairy, the other's a coconut.

9. What's the first question at a Chav quiz night?
What you lookin' at?"

10. How do you get 100 Chavs into a phone box?
Paint three stripes on it.

11. Two Chavs in a car without any music. Who's driving?
The police

12. What do you call a chav with 9 GCSE's?
A liar.

13. What do you say to a chav with a job?
Can I have a big mac please

14. What do you say to a chav in a suit?
Will the defendant please stand

15. What do u call a knife in chav-ville?
Exhibit A

16. Why is 3 chavs going over a cliff in a Nova a shame?
A Nova seats 4

17. What do you call a 30 year old chavette?
Granny.

18. How many chavs does it take to change a lightbulb?
One, they'll screw anything.

19. What do you call 100 chavs at the bottom of a river?
A start.

20. How many chavs does it take to clean a floor?
None, "That's some uvver bleeders job innit."

21. Why did the chav take a shower?
He didn't mean to, he just forgot to close the Nova's window in the carwash

22. Why did the Chav cross the road?
To start a fight with a random stranger for no reason whatsoever.

23. What do you call a Chav at college?
The cleaner.

24. A bus full of Chavs were driving through Wales. As they were approaching Llanfgogogferrinfourasoch they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one Chav asked the blonde employee, "Before we order,
could you settle an argument for us?
Would you please pronounce where we are... very slowly?"
The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said,
"Burrrrrrrr-gerrrrrrr-Kiiiiing."

25. Two chavs jump off beachy head, who wins?
Society
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I have 7 imginary piranhas9/11/07
 
***
Bob
Janet
Axel
Toothpick
Ian
Rachel
Emily
***

^Those are my imaginary piranhas.

Axel and Toothpick are both guys as is Bob and Ian. The other 3 are female....


 4 Comments 
GCSE exams8/23/07
 
Well....


I PASSED
with high enough grades to go to college and I have 8 GCSEs.
I'm gonna study forensics nananana


Unlike someone...

who didn't take there exams. Probs because they chickened out because they're to stupid or couldn't be bothered to come to school. Something like that.

*cough* Zoe Regan *cough*


Yay I passed
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My apologies if this offends anyone but I find it kinda funy7/20/07
 
The Difference between Emo And Goth:
Emos Hate themselves
Goths hate Everyone
Emos Want to Kill themselves
Goths Want to kill Everyone
 3 Comments 
I PASSED ICT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!6/15/07
 
WOOT GO ME!!!!!


4 GCSEs ALL MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 !!!!!!!!!!!!

:) :O :)
:) :O :)
:) :O :)
:) :O :)
:) :O :)
:) :O :)
:) :O :) :) :) :) :)
:) :O :O :O :O :O :O
:) :) :) :) :) :) :)
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Why am I writing to my blog?6/7/07
 
Ughhh lord knows but it probs has something to do with the fact I'm bored and I feel like it.
Well today I had an English GCSE exam and it was eaaaaaaaaasy. I was also meant to stay after school to do IT work but I couldn't be bothered so I went home.Sirs probs gonna be nagging me about it tomorrow but like I care...I'm not gonna pass this course anyway so like I care.
>:(
Why wont people leave me alone? because I never leave them alone. So I bring you a list of things that prove human stupidity (BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE IT...and they're actually funny)
Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink

Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'

Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.

Only in America.....Will you go to a restraunt in seaworld and ask for bandaids and get mayonise

EVER WONDER Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff??

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos:! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.) (Ok, It was supposed to be translated as " to be used for intended use only" basically what it means is don't use your food processor as a wood chipper people. lol)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
 0 Comments 
Nanananana5/10/07
 
I got my belly button pierced (about 4 weeks ago LOL)
It wasnt even painful 'cause they semi freeze it and all you feel is something touching your navel...well you can feel it more than that but it honestly doesnt hurt...Not like my nose did! Talk about PAINFUl!
I love it but it's sometime sore and sensitive and i cant sleep on my stomach no more
 0 Comments