Licky Rake <licky_rake>
I've been seeing my present girlfriend for the past four months and
while I'm quite opened minded sexually she seems to be a bit more reserved.
She doesn't even like it when I put my fingers inside her. Licky I thought
that the whole point in being a lesbian was to fuck and be fucked by other women. What can I do to get her to 'open up to me'?
You have it all wrong sweetie the whole point in being a lesbian is to
keep Bulmers producers in business. I feel your pain though, the only way I could get my exhusband to have penetrative sex with me was to put on a
Ronald Reagan mask. As much as I enjoyed watching him wince with pain
because I hadn't lubed up the dildo enough, I did tire of it after a
I enjoy political debate as much as the next gal but sometimes I
yearned for some romantic chit chat followed by a sensual massage. Which is
exactly what you should try with your girl. You see I have a sneaking
suscpicion that your just diving in there like you're, trying to get the last
peanut out of the jar and thats no fun for her. Cook her a nice dinner, get
the sexy oil out and get down like James Brown. Though a little hint to
any of you gals who like your food spicey, make sure you wash any chilli off
your fingers before you get busy under the covers. Some like it hot but you don't want to be ladling the natural yoghurt up her you-know-where for
the rest of the evening. A womans private parts are pretty easy to
navigate. If you want to get through the DOOR, you have to press the door BELL. If you're not working her love button enough her little orchid will never flower. But you know, you could be cooking the right meal, be saying
the right things, flicking her like a remote control and still she
mightn't be into you penetrating her. That's her perogative. The only way to
combat this is to masturbate furiously with your favourite toy every time
you're together (this includes the queue in the off licence, having a quite
pint and while you're having her parents over for her 'coming out' dinner).
By doing this she will see how much pleasure you're getting and may join
in. If however she has other underlying issues maybe from an unsavioury
sexual experience in the past, listen to her with a sympathetic heart, while masturbating furiously.
I?ve been seeing my girlfriend for the past four months and I?m really
enjoying her company but there?s a problem in the bedroom department.
I?m really into my clitoris being stimulated and she keeps trying to plunge
her whole fist into me, without even getting me juiced up! I?m sometimes
into it but a girl needs to be ready. What can I do?
look sweetie if this cavewoman isn?t giving you and your love button
the attention you need dump her before she makes a show of you and your
try making up a bad sexual experience from your past.
|“ I have no medical qualifications what so ever but I know what I know!”||10/18/06|
I?ve been seeing my present girlfriend for six months and I?m mad about her. She?s everything you could want from a woman and I feel I can tell her anything. Well, almost anything, you see Licky, often her fingernails are dirty and I just don?t have the courage to tell her that this makes me feel uncomfortable when we have sex. How can I bring it up without hurting her feelings?
Hurting her feelings? What about hurting MY ears! Listen up buttercup, I?ll give you a word of advice, bullshit. Think of that next time she skips on the soap. Her fingers, quite possibly, could have traces of bullshit on them. And sweetie, don?t we have enough bullshit in our lives already without somebody trying to squeeze more of it up your you-know-where.
Stop beating around the bush, just grab her paw and hold it up to the light and say the words that my ex husband said to me, say ? I am a fully functioning member of the homosexual community and I?m not having your bullshit sex any more!?
If this approach is a little too forward for you, try the technique that I know a lot of you lesbians use. The good ole ?life is a nailbrush? routine. Not only do you leave a little nail brush every two feet in your house you also have to bring it into your own appearance. Fashion your hair into a tight crop so when your lover runs her fingers through your hair she?s getting a little under-the-nail clean out also. You should then shave your pubic hair (around your you-know-where) into a little line down the middle. This acts as the ultimate scrubber.
Work using a nailbrush into your sex life. Try doing an exotic strip where the climax is you scrubbing your nails. ?Look baby, I?ve got nothing on, not even a speck of dirt! Oh yeah!?. Or bring it into roleplaying, get down on your hands and knees and growl like a dog holding the nail brush between your teeth. Every time she grabs for it shake your head and you?re bound to connect with her filthy digits at some stage. When you think she?s all done let her get the brush out of your mouth, so she can give you the pat on the tush you?ve been waiting for.
Ultimately though these are all just techniques to use if you are avoiding communicating honestly with your partner. Now I have nothing against this. Sometimes a little honesty can do a lot of damage. I?ll never forget telling my Mother that she?d put on a little weight and she told me that I was really her little sister.
So before you blurt out what a filthy animal you think your lover is take a look at yourself and ask ?Do I really need to hear that my come face makes me look like Bill Cosby?.. again??