Gimly <Ruuz>


Gimly's and L'alice's 'Things to Do' List1/18/09
-"Xian Bookstore" thing
-"Bus Song" Serenade
-Go to a Mosh Pit
-Rave in Shit Pixie's Hallway
-Watch 300
-Listen to "This Is Sparta (Remix)
-Play "I've Never"
-Invade K'bar High
-Watch Friday the 13th
-Watch Friday the 13th Part 2
-Watch Friday the 13th Part 3
-Watch Friday the 13th Part 4: The Final Chapter
-Watch Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning
-Watch Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives
-Watch Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood
-Watch Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan
-Watch Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday
-Watch Jason X
-Watch Freddy Vs Jason [seen first half]
-Watch Friday the 13th (2009)
-Watch Repo! The Genetic Opera
-Listen to every Amanda Palmer song
-Listen to every Dimmu Borgir song
-Go Rollin'
-Go Rollin' at "5 Speed"
-Drive along listening to Rammstein
-Drive along listening to Techno
-Watch Metalocalypse
-Watch Buffy
-Watch Yugioh: The Abridged Series
-Watch Red Vs Blue
-Watch The Crow
-Watch a Rob Zombie Flick [Half of House of 1,000 Corpses + half of Halloween = 1 whole movie]
-Absinthe Fest
-Walk through Woden chained together...again
-Go on Civic Carousel
-Skip into Civic
-Get drunk TOGETHER
-Get Jessa drunk
-Go skinny dipping
-Build a sand castle at Pine Island
The Tale of the Gay LOL (Dedicated to Lemanie "That Faggot Stanley" Quixley)11/7/08
Boom ba-da big. Doodily doo, ding-dong doodily doodily doo. Once upon a LAN connection, in the world of Interwebz, there was a young abbrev. named Gay Lol. He was always singing to the tune of ?Faggot Faggot Faggot? All was well on Interwebz under the rule of King LMFAO, and everybody was rich because they could all make money by flitting about on their lollerskates harvesting lmaonaise for King LMFAO. Until, one day The Dark Lord Hax besieged the LMAO kingdom, bringing his armies of roflcopters and Trojans. Roflcopters blotted out the sun and Interwebs was plunged into a virus-induced darkness, the sun just simply would not reboot no matter how hard the citizens of LMFAO kingdom tried and there was much :(
Many of the abrev.s prayed to OMG to save them, but unfortunately he was set to AFK and thus could not hear their prayers over vent. All of LMFAO?s loldiers took up arms and got on their lollerskates in an attempt at a counter attack. Unfortunately all of those N00bs got pwnt by the superior roflcopter forces, and all of the loldiers were killed. Except for Gay LOL who had run all the way homepage like a prissy little bitch at the first sign of danger.
Gay LOL was an athiest who believed in evilution rather than OMG. Instead he shouted out OMLOG. He tried to warn King LMFAO that he should not send in any more loldiers, for they would be surely pwnt. But King LMFAO did not heed his warning, saying that there was NP and he was sure all his loldiers would totes BRB. Then he continued to bathe in his plentiful bounty of lmaonaise.
Gay LOL left King LMFAO?s castle very :( ly. So he went to his homepage again and went on MSN to ask The Dark Lord Hax to call off his roflcopters. But The Dark Lord Hax denied him, saying ?Yo Mom LOL!!!1!!1!!111!!Elevntyone!1!!!!? So Gay LOL went to Alaska and called across the river for the Russians to come and help his race, but they were all like ?LOLWUT!?? when he tried to enlist their aid. Then they started saying ?V? and ?O? a lot and so Gay LOL realized he couldn?t actually speak Russianese. So he watched The Devil?s Rejects and when they said ?Tootie-Fuckin?-Frootie? he rofled. In his rofling he suddenly remembered that his land was under attack by roflcopters and everybody was being slaughtered.
So Gay LOL sent an e-vite to a bunch of Scene Kids who lived on MySpace. The land of MySpace was dark and depressing. It never stopped raining blood and everybody who lived their committed suicide on their 14th birthday, so how the Scene Kids continued was quite a mystery, and yet they just ever seemed to die out. When the Scene Kids read the e-vites the all started crying and posting blogs everywhere about how they were going to cut themselves because Gay LOL was so mean to them by asking them to defend the lives of billions of innocent abbrev.s. So Gay LOL called down a Viking from the Pagan Lands and he dismembered them all without breaking a sweat. The Viking then went back to the Pagan Lands to have a (B).
Gay LOL?s brother, FTP came, attracted by the smell of Scene Kid blood like a shark. FTP asked Gay LOL why he simply did not get the Viking to kill all of the roflcopters, Trojans and The Dark Lord Hax. Gay LOL got so :@ at himself for being such a silly-billy that he immediately forgot that he could have just summoned the Viking again and he stormed off.
Gay LOL knew that if the kingdom of LMFAO was going to win they would need allies. And so he went to the magical nation of Cyanide and Happiness where The Purple Shirted Eye Stabber, SuperJerk, Ass Rape Man, Tylenol the Killer Pet Rock, Trelaf the Wise, Charles the Abusive Boyfriend, That Guy Who Peed On Your Rug And Then Showed Up The Next Day Wearing A Tuxedo And Said ?Hey You Know That Guy Who Peed On Your Rug And Then Showed Up The Next Day Wearing A Tuxedo?, A Jaguar, Charlie86, Sunflower2001, Jack Recker the Vampire Hunter, Josh, a flamboyant tree that sodomized an Angel, a bitextual guy, Chad Kroeger, Billy the Loincloth, Obese Maurice, a Pianist, a radioactive spider, Karen, a Las Vegas Hooker, Osama Bin Laden, Steve, Mike, Tracey, Rachel, Jesus and Satan all agreed to help him. They gathered their forces and attacked The Dark Lord Hax, destroying his forces and forcing Hax to combine his kingdom with that of King LMFAO, creating the most powerful realm ever, the Great Kingdom of ROFLMFAO and they all lived :) ly ever after!
Except for you? you died.
"Christianity; intolerance since 0032:D " -Anon
"I wouldn't trust in your God, even if he existed!" -Anon
"I hate people" -Jak C
"Tell your mum to stop calling me" -Greg T
"Ask me about my ability to annoy complete strangers" -Anon
"Remember kids, it's down the road not across the street, make it count!" -Rohan F
"You hate Emo. You call Emo kids wussy little fuckers. Your opinions are strong. Your music is fucking awesome. You are just plain cool... You could probably be a little nicer though" -HXC
"A fine is a tax for doing wrong, a tax is a fine for doing well" -Brett P
"Recent studies show that recent studies cause cancer in rats" -Brett P
"Admitting you're an asshole is the first step" -Anon
"Make awkward sexual advances not war!" -Jak C
"539 people agree, FUCK YOU!" -Anon
"Oh yeah, actually that remeinds me of something; FUCK YOU!" Nathan F
"FUCK YOU!" That-guy-that-kills-an-Alien-in-the-new-AVP-movie-trailer
"Heck is a place for people who don't believe in Gosh" -Anon
"Has anger solved your other problems?" -Anon
"I'm one of those bad things that happen to good people!" -Anon
"U.S.Atheist, be all you can be" -Anon
"Any connection between my reality and yours is purely coincidental" -Anon
"I have seen the evidence! I want different evidence!!!" -American courtcase
"When I was younger, I prayed for a bike. As I grew older I realised this wasn't how it worked, so I stole the bike amd prayed for forgivness" -Anon
"Forget the flag, burn a politician!" -Anon
"Carpe Scrotum, grab life by the balls" -Anon
"I haven't had my coffee yet, don't make me kill you" -Anon
"I don't love you since you ate my dog:( " -Anon
"Dain Bramage?" -Anon
"If you don't like the way I'm driving you come get these handcuffs off!" -Anon
"The dinosaurs died for our sins!" -Anon
"Do not disturb, disturbed enough already" -Anon
"The #1 cause of divorce is marriage" -Anon
"Dyslexics of the word, Dog loves you!" -Nano
"D is for Dylsexlia:) " -Nano
"I still miss my ex-wife:( ...But my Aim is improving:) " -Anon
"Grow your own dope. Bury a politician!"
"No means no!" -Her
"No means eat me out first!" Her sister
"Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather restraints" -Anon
"Nuke a communist, gay, baby seal for Jesus!" -Anon
"I used to be schizophrenic, but we're better now:) " -Micheal T
"I used to be schizophrenic until they cured me, now I'm just lonely:( " -Micheal T
"Roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia and so do I" -Micheal T
"F_CK, all I need is u" -Anon
"KFC, all we need is u" -Same Anon
"I'm fat, but you're ugly. I can diet" -Eric C
"I don't want to be part of anything that uses fear to keep my loyal" -Atheist
"My God can kick your God's ass!" -Anon
"If it's to loud, you're to old!" -Brylee C
"God forgives... I don't" -Anon
"Have you forgotten about Jesus? Isn't it about time you did?" -Anon
"If your friends tell you not to do drugs, then they're not really your friends, are they?" -Anon
"Friends don't let friends go to church!" -Atheist
"Hey, we're Americans okay? We fuck up shit!" -Anonymous American
"Emo kids; you grew up in Suburbia, no one feels sorry for you...get a haircut" -Anon
"Poetry; poor excuse for a shag, isn't it?" -Same anon
"Homophobia is SO GAY"-Anon
"Jesus told you to give me your car" -Anon
"Amazingly enough, I don't give a shit:O " -Anon
"Anyone can give up smoking, but it takes a real man to face cancer" -Anon
"Can't stop now, on my way to Hell" -Anon
"If God intended man to smoke, he would have set him on fire" -Anon
"If God dropped acid, would he see people?" -Anon
"How about a nice cup of Shut-the-fuck-up?" -Jak C
"We're going to destroy the world!...want to come?" -Julliet L
"Who would Jesus torture?" -Anon
"Pagans make the best friends, they worship the ground you walk upon" -Anon
"If you believe you can tell me what to believe, I believe I can tell you were to go" -Anon
"A cat almost always blinks when hit in the head with a hammer" -Anon
"Happiness is seeing your mother-in-laws face on the back of a milk carton" -Anon
"Are you happy or are you married?" -Anon
"Christianity; giving you the right to impose your beliefs on other people" -Anon
"Heaven doesn't want me, and Hell is afraid I'll take over" -Anon
"Well thank God I'm an atheist!" -Anon
"Don' piss me off, I'm running out of places to hide th bodies!" -Anon
"Forgive your enemies, it messes with their heads" -Anon
"Kiss me; I don't smoke" -Anon
"You are re-inforcing my inherant mitrust of strangers" -Anon
"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most" -Anon
"I'm not fluent in idiot so please speak slowly and clearly" -Anon
"If I wanted to play follo-the-leader I'd become a Christian" -Rohan F
"I LOVE SATAN" -Random guy off World Misanthropy
"Is there an imaginary cure for hypochondria?" -Anon
"Have you talked to my imaginary friend Jesus?" -Anon
"Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself" -Anon
"Jesus told me not to do my homework" -Anon
"Jesus loves pornstars!" -Anon
"Jesus was my co-pilot, but we crashed on a deserted island and I had to eat him" -Anon
"Remember kids; Jesus gets all pissed off when you start making sense!" -Priest
"God doesn't kill people, people who believe in God kill people" -Anon
"If I could get a firm grip on reality, I'd choke it!" -Anon
"Put politicians in their place; landfill!" -Anon
"You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same" -Anon
"Stop animale experimentation; use lawyers!" -Anon
"Everytime you masturbate, God kills an Emo kid" -Anon
"I molested myself last night, I said no but I knew I wanted it..." -Priest
"Your friendship means alot to me; when you cry, I will cry. When you laugh, I will laugh. When you jump out of a 400 metre high window, I will laugh" -Anon
"I have the body of a God; Buddha!" -Anon
"You're just jealous 'cause the voices are only talking to me" -Anon
"I live in my own little world- but it's okay, they know me here" -Anon
"Go away n00b!" -Pope John Paul II
"It is as bad as you thinik it is and they are all out to get you!" -Anon
"Are YOU necessary?" -Anon
"Atheism is a non-prophet organisation" -Anon
"Normal people worry me" -Anon
"My mind is not for sale to any Governemt or religion" -Aon
"I'm not paranoid! Which of my enemies told you this!?" -Anon
"Hell was full so I came back" -Anon
"I think, therefore we have nothing in common" -Anon
"Christian fundamentalists are proof that evolution doesn't exist" -Anon
"The tooth fairy bit me" -Anon
"Oxymoron #17; Rap Music" -Anon
"Oxymoron #39; Marital Bliss" -Same Anon
"Oxymoron #42; Political Ethics" -Same Same Anon
"Porn; it's cheaper than dating" -Anon
"Who says I want to fit in?" -Anon
"Hmm, yeah, I ate paintchips when I was a kid..." -Anon
"One by one, the penguins slowly steal my sanity"
"I didn't invent sin, I'm just trying to perfect it" -Anon
"I'm actually quite pleasant until I'm awake" -Anon
"Power corrupts; isn't that what it's for?" -Anon
"Don't pray in my school and I won't think in your church!" -Anon
"Hurrah!- We're not pregnant!" -Anon
"I am prone to random acts of sensless, reckless endangerment" -Anon
"Psst... God hates you" -Priest
"Puritanism; The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy" -Anon
"If we quit voting, will they all go away?" -Anon
"A friend will come and bail you out of jail. But a true friend will be sitting next to you saying; Daaamn, we fucked up... But that shit was fun!" -Anon
"I swerve to hit cars and children at random" -Anon
"Me, wet, practically naked, pressed against you" -Ali
"My ex gave me a reason to live; I want revenge!" -Anon
"Religion is a crutoh for peple that can't think for themselves" -Anon
"My cult-like following is now taking aplications" -Priest
"I am heavily medicated for your safety" -Priest
"Satan for president! Pick the lesser of two evils" -Anon
"Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial" -Anon
"What'd I miss? I was out smoking crack with Satan" -Jak C
"Save water; drink Vodka!" -Anon
"Really, it's been lovely, but I have to run away screaming now" -Anon
"If you save yourself for marriage, the terrorists win!" -Jak C
"So many few lions" -Anon
"Your new baby is a retard:) " -Anon
"I don't support seperation of church and state" -Priest
"I support seperation of church and state" -Atheist
"I support seperation of church and hate" -Jak C
"Don't be stupid, we have politicians for that!" -Anon
"Stupid people make my brain sad" -Nick F
"I've got the perfect body, blue eyes, blonde hair, etc.etc.etc....but it's in the boot of my car and starting to smell" -Anon
"I'm not as think as you drunk I am!" -Loz J
"I think, therefore I'm dangerous" -Anon
"I think, therefore I'm not Christian" -Jak C
"I'm not immature you stinky poo-poo butt-head!" Anon
"Where there's a Wiccan, there's a way" -Anon
"Judgment day is near!" -Priest
"Non-judgment day is nearer..." -Jak C
"Your God, your rules, YOU go to Hell!" -Anon
"You need a girl who's name doesn't end in .JPG" -Jak C
"Your head asplode" Strongbad
"Dead people are cool..." -Anon
"Dear God, make everyone die. Amen" -Priest
"Em'Os, the only cereal that understands you" -Anon
"Haha, I touched Choles boobs so much, and I kissed her. Wait, I touched every girls boobs and kissed them :/ lol." -Jess
"God made me a cannibal to fix problems like you" -Chloe
"Wow, where's the gay gang-bang at!?" -Chloe :L
"And this is the condemnation; that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil." -John
"Christianity: The belief that some cosmic Jewish zombie can make you live forever if you eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat fruit from a magical tree. Makes perfect sense!" -Anon
"Sure, there have been deaths in boxing, but none of them serious." -Alan
"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body." -Winston
"I owe a lot to my parents, especially my father and mother." -Greg
"As confused as a hungry baby in a topless bar." -Anon
"As confused as a blind lesbian in a fish market" -Anon
"He's as baffled as Adam on Mothers Day" -Anon
"She's seen more ceilings than Michelangelo" -Anon
"This guy is all foam, no beer." -Anon
"As worn out as a cucumber in a convent." -Anon
"About as useless as a jam sandwich to a drowning rabbit." -Anon
" He who laughs last thinks slowest." -Anon
"Those who live by the sword... get shot by those who don't." -Anon
"He's not dead... he's electroencephalographically challenged" -Anon
"The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by those who got there first." -Anon
"Those who live by the sword... get shot by those who don't." -Anon
"Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after." -Anon
"It may be your sole purpose in life to serve as a warning to others." -Anon
"Press any key to continue or any other key to quit." -Bill Gates
"We have enough youth. How about a fountain of SMART?" -Anon
"If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?" -Anon
"If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something." -Anon
"Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them." -Anon
"News is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't." -Anon
"There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved by a suitable application of high explosives." -Anon
"Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons because, to them, you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup." -Anon
"Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat
word for word what you shouldn't have said." -Anon
"Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching
them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years
telling them to sit down and shut-up." -Anon
"Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mum?" -Anon
"I think I could fall madly in bed with you" -Anon
"*bite*" -Everybody cool!!
My Me: Me7/6/07
My Heroes : Jacqui and Kate -Awwwwwwwwww :)

My King : Joss Whedon -Cauz he's the FUCKING MESSIAH!!!!!!

My Queen : Amber Benson -Cauz she is officially the coolest chick in the world! And I will quite literally kill to maintain that statement... or say that I will anyway... shhhh...

My Wife : Amber Benson -HAH! I wish, well, not really, I'm not big on the whole 'marriage' thing.

My Fiance: Jessa -Lols married on 4th of April XD

My Husband : Big Willy -The name doesn't say it?? :P

My Traitor: Brylee and Mook -Ave Traitoria!...:( she knows what she did... And Mook you little bitch! I can never trust you again... okay I can, just not for a while is all.

My Travel Partner: Chloe -We ares mad gonna sell my car and go to Norway!! :)

My Bitch : Brett -Heh, it's funny cauz of year 5.

My Dad : Rachel- FATHER!!.

My Mum : N/A- Mums are fail...

My Uncle : Bob -Hahaha, you should probably be in the bad influences part too, ah well. Lmao, it's funny cauz u got fired from being a cop!

My Little Sister : Tash -You mean so much to me! I'd do anything for you. I'd have my head asplode into a million little pieces if I thought it would make you happy. Gonna miss you too much.

My Big Sister : Jacqui- This girl is amazing, she takes shit from no one, and if anyone even thinks less of her cauz of... any reason, I'll kill you dead!

My Little Brother : Loz -Cauz he's younger'n me but twice my height!

My Big Brother : Micheal -Cauz you taght me it all and I lived with you anyway, lol.

My Daughter : Mikayla -Well, she WAS before Tenille sold our daughter for drug money.

My Son- Umm, nobody, but if I had one he'd be named SAXON!

My Best Girl Mate : Tash- YAY! I finally made up my mind, lol.

My Best Guy Mate : Brett -Cauz he just is! (bitches)

My Slave: Ali- Heh...chains!

My Punching Bag: Estelle- Well, you shouldn't have stolen afforementioned chains!

My Kitten: Eloise- It's funny 'cause it's true :P

My Plastic: Jessa- Sorry love, no matter what you say, you still kinda are...

My Angel : Nikki -Even if she is one that breaks all the rules.

My Sexy Girl : Jessa-Cauz, well, she's sexy, 'n she's a girl!

My Loser : Kalswick -Just jokin' your awesome Kate!

My Loser Lover: Tash- Hah, a'cause I'm her loser and, "one must love her own kind must she not?":P

My Stalker : Mook, Jebus and Tenille -Cauz Mook stalks everything that moves. It's just what he does. N Jebus is big and scary and in Civic :( N Tenille because she is gonna stalk me when she doesn't have any money (like now) Ohnoes! I only have one house and she knows where I live!

My Teddy Bear: HRV- Well, maybe not so much with the 'my' or 'teddy' part, but the bear bit; definately.

My Body Guard : Brylee -Cauz she'll slap you so hard your head asplode! 'Specially you Mook, so don't even think about pouring coke on me again!

My Muse: Amy and Tash -Amy a'cause she only ever seems to talk at me when I'm trying to write a song...usualy in Latin, lol. And Tash a'cause she helpses me!

My Partner in Crime : Micheal -Yay! Lets go stab more people with plastic butter knives and get into some shit with the Woden security guards when we run away from then and tell them they're spinless retard fucks...again!

My Fairy: Tilly -'Cause she is one. You still owe me fairy dust! I'm gonna get burnt by puritans for talking to you, but does that stop me?

My Lifeguard: Grant Grant -Cauz he is one BAH!

My Tutor : Probably Micheal again -You get a lot of this don't you? (Oh, but Fick too -Cauz of BtVS, Firefly etc.)

My Drinking Buddy : Either Forrest cauz of Saz's 20th or Micheal cauz of the Cruizer-offs!

My Stoner Buddy: Shit Pixie -...LOL!!

My Mistress: Nikki and Jessa- Nikki...She knows why. And Jessa a'cause apparently I have to learn from THE MISTRESS which is her.

My Bouncers: Brylee and Tenille -Cauz they protected me from Jebus when we seen him in Civic

My Gangsta : Buzzybee -Cauz he reckns he is the gangstargest shit ever!

My Murder Pal : Fick -Who told you about the body? What body? There is no body. Come with us please.

My House Egging Pal : Cherelihn -Cauz ur the only person I've ever actually egged a house with... and one of them was yours, WTF?

My Dancing Partners: One Eyed Crankus, Tenille and Jo -Heh, One Eyed Crankus taught me some crappy bushdance, then I set him on fire. Good times, good times. Tenille I danced with for like 2 seconds at her house, then there's the slow-dancing in Woden (or lack there-of). N me and Jo danced for like 2 seconds at the interchange...that is all!

My Wicked Cool Chick: L'alice -FUCKING LOVE YOU! My perfect attack :D

My Bad Influences: Holy shit, everyone! -Tash, Jessa, Ali, JJ, Alice, Shit Pixie, One Eyed Crankus, Tenille, Jaymz, Fick, Hogno, Ash, Forrest, Micheal, Kate, Mook, Brylee, Saz and all the rest of you, I blame my sociopathy on you! (But I love ya's all!)

My Support Crew: Stace -I've only caught up with you twice, but you've been there for me more than anyone else... Wow, I just realised how incredibly sad my life is... Ah well, love ya Stace!

My Everything: All the people here, and a couple more too!