Jemma H <x_X_xJeeeemax_X_x>
|Night Out Quotes! (Part 9)||10/28/09|
|Drunken Old Man: I bought body milk! I've got body milk, cuz I've got a body!!|
Random: You can stay waaayy the fudge away from me!
Rachael: See if you got blonde highlights.. then you would be blonde!
Dad: (Angrily) Commit to a modern age, for goodness sake!!
Rachael: I'm not a slut!.. But I was sitting on the slut couch!
Callum: My croch is clean!
Jemma: I heard someone say my name.
Callum: What? I was talking about haggis..
Rachael: Jemma. Haggis.... JAGGIS!
Rachael: Stupid ginger waster!
Gordo: I want a bit of cake, I really want a bit of cake! I'm gonna do it now! (Walks over to the table)
Kayla: So why did you just pick up sausages??
Drunk Man: I bet when I walk away you're all going to be slagging me off, talking behind my back. But you won't. You know why? Cuz I'm f*cking Taggart!!!
Ailidh: Whats the word, you know the thing you get between the wheels of a car?
Ailidh: It's like a kart..
Rachael: A van? A milk bus??
Morag: How would you get to France in a taxi? Would you just drive over the water??
Rachael G: I was like a wannabe chav. I just never really got there!
The Debenhams Girls: (About D-Dawgg) She's Miss Debenhams, the face of Debenhams! We should have her face printed on the bags! Or a photo of her with her rota folder. We should even get in some lasers and smoke!! And we can all ask the customers.. Do you have a D-Dawgg account?? Cuz if you wanted to open one you'd get 20% less bitchyness for a whole week!! Hah, we should get her name printed on the till roll, and a big photo of her face on the back. And there would be cigarettes as pens!!
Morag: You just keep drinking til the sun goes down!
Rachael: Mikey, where's your toilet?
Mikey: Upstairs on the left. The room with the toilet in it.
Becca: I think that's the general idea!
Morag: Can I get a cup? Or a fork?? Hahahahahaha.... I clearly found that very funny!
Taxi Driver: That was a fox man! Trust me, I'm sober, you're not!
Morag: (To a random guy) Oi, you're not meant to come into the ladies toilets!
Random Guy: I'm sorry. Have a good night ladies... Do you want to see my bum??
Craig: ...at Nelson's Column...
Rebecca: Who's calling??
Morag: (To a toilet attendant in Siberia) You're so much better than the one in Dundee! We had to pay... Wait, Jemma, whats the currency of Dundee??
Rachael: ... a giraffe...
Rebecca: Wow, where??
Rachael: He's the cheesiest sleazeball I've ever met!
Morag: (To a woman in a fluffy jacket) Do you want a hug? You're very furry!
Rachael: Jemma... Whats in the Pringles machine??
Rachael: I can't read those shot flavours from here. The only one i can see is Mayo...
Jemma: It says peach, you ass!
Roisin: Rachael, can you open my till tomorrow please? Haha, thats my new chat-up line!!
Rachael: Can we stroke that seagull please?
Rachael: But he's got a pizza box!!
Morag: How old do you think he is?
Rachael: He's wearing turquoise, he can't be that old!!
Jemma: (To Rachael) You're the cute one, (to Morag) you're the crazy one... I'm just death warmed up, apparently!
Morag: Shut up Jemma, you're just sexy!!
Man At Bar: Where are you from?
Man At Bar: Slains???
Rachael: Jemma.. Why are you holding a red ball of fire??
Rebecca: Oh my... He's got a gun!!
Rachael: It's not a gun, thats his finger!!
Rachael: Ugh, it stinks here.
Jemma: I can't smell anything. Its too cold to smell!
Drunk Guy: (After wrapping up his friend in blue toilet paper) Look, he looks like a blue Power Ranger!
Rachael: Oh no, I've taken a Debenhams bag again. I'm fed up of being a walking advertisement for my job!
Rachael: (On the phone, very drunk!) Hi, can I book a taxi please?
Taxi Man: Sure, where are you?
Rachael: (Looks around) Ummm.... I'm outside Cornhill!
Taxi Man: Okay.. What ward are you from??
Taxi Man: What ward are you in right now??
|Night Out Quotes! (Part 8)||6/30/09|
|Random Guy: Wait, so how old are you?|
Rachael: Well I'm a month older than Jemma.
Random Guy: Oh ok, so you're a leo then?
Random Guy's Friend: Oh my god, you're pulling out star signs! You're so smooth, I want your babies!!
Random KFC Guy (desperately trying to get into the locked toilets): I don't know the coooooooooode....
Jemma: Oh I could stroke him all night!
Morag: It tastes like grass.
Rachael: I have no idea what grass tastes like, so...
Morag: Have you never eaten grass before?
Morag: You must have. You must have!
Taxi Man: Do I just head straight on?
Rachael: Um, no, um (points to a street) What's that way?
Taxi Man: Oh, right!
Morag: Rachael, who was working today?
Rachael: Shut up!
Jemma: My dog's blind.
Morag: Really? How does he see??
Jemma: It doesn't!
Wasted Old Man: (Showing Fiona, Laura, Rachael, Cara and Jemma his shopping bag) Guess what I bought? I bought milk! I bought body milk! Its milk.. for your body! Look! (Throws the bottle of body milk onto the table) It's for my body! And I bought body lotion. You knowwhat else I bought.. Tights! (Shows the pack of tights) Tights!!
Morag: (EVERY time she sees someone smoking!) I don't smoke. I've never smoked! Smoking's bad!
Jemma: (Seeing a man run up the street) Run, Gump, run!
Rachael: Noooooo.... Jemma, you just squashed my chips!!
Jemma: What will I ask him? 'Did you Rachael on monday?'
Jemma: (Talking out loud as she sends a text) Kiss and send.
Rachael: What?? Kiss and sex?
Jemma: Oh... He's sowing!!!
Rachael: That was amazing... I can't believe we just saw Batman and Robin, Mr Incredible, Catwoman, Ali Baba and the gang running up the street, and Sonic doing forward rolls up Union Street behind them! That has made my night! My life is now complete!!
Jemma: ...speaks fast...
Rachael: Speaks France??
Morag: She skins Jemma fast?
Rachael: Don't be mean.. I'll go home!
Morag: No! Pee, now!
Random Drunk Priory Guy: Hey. I'm a sleaze, did you know?
Morag: Errm.. No!
Random Drunk Priory Guy: I just sleep around. That makes me a bad bad man!
Random Drunk Priory Guy: I'm a sleaze! I'm a bad bad sleaze! Do you like how I'm a bad bad man?
Rachael: Where did Jemma go?
Morag: A brothel!!
|Night Out Quotes! (Part 7)||5/24/09|
|Morag: Oh look, its Rachael's thinking face...I've never seen that before!|
Rachael: We're so uncool it's just become cool again!
Morag: Rachael in a ball is like half the size of his stomach!!
Morag: It's a bat! It's a bat!
Jemma: No. I don't think bats quack!!
Rachael: This is so random! So Rachael, what did you do tonight? Well I sat in a park eating rice with Jemma!
Rachael: She was drunk enough to pee behind a jeep!
Rachael: Ooh, there's a creepy noise my way. It sounds like a hoover.
Jemma: There's a creepy noise my way too.. sounds like a pedo in a bush!
Jemma: He's a lying fucking cheating bastard!
Rachael: Woop woop!!
Rachael: Did you find out how he knows you yet?
Jemma: No. I found out he has diabetes though.
Rachael: Remember that guy outside Priory?
Jemma: Oh yeah! He totally face raped me! I wouldn't mind if ***** face raped me though! Except I would want that, so I can't really class it as face rape!
Rachael: So it would just be face?? He would just face you?!
Rachael: (Singing along to the Hannah Montana theme tune) Is that Orlando Bloom?
Rachael: It's the Frefronatron!!
Jemma: Oh Rachael... you and your relentless! Ooh, i want some relentless now!
Rachael: Boom boom clap, boom de clap de clap, boom boom clap, boom de clap de clap...
Jemma: And now you've started calling me Baby Alien.
Rachael: Yeah I don't really know where that one came from!
Jemma: I hope I dont look like an alien! I mean it would be ok if it was ET...
Rachael: So you want to look like ET??
Jemma: She would know all the answers to the smart questions, and I'd know all the answers to... Why is there a coconut on the road??
Jemma: I'm getting so full. If I eat all these I'm gonna be so fat!
Rachael: I'm full too. If I eat them I'm gonna be just as fat as you!... No wait, thats not what I meant!!
Morag: Well, you know what they say... There's nothing like good old service with a frown!
Morag: Can I have some of yours?
Rachael: No! You've already had enough to drink!
Morag: Awww. But I really need some blackcurrent in my life.
Morag: Are you coming to the toilet?
Rachael: No I don't need. I'll just wait at the table.
Morag: Ok. But don't talk!
Rachael: To who? Myself??
Derek: Oh, I almost stood on your cat.. I thought it was a towel!
Morag: (To a woman dressed casual, all in black) Ooh, I love your outfit!
Woman: (Looks Morag up and down) I work here!
Morag: (To groups of random people) Did you know that there is this amazing machine... You put a card in it, and press some buttons, and then it gives you money! Its amazing!
Rachael: Yeeeeeaaahh boiiiii
Rachael: Pop it, lock it, polka-dot it, country five... Oh, I don't know the rest.
Jemma: Why is there a puzzle on the floor?
Rachael: I don't know. But it's got a giraffe on it. Ace!
Morag: Oh, I'm so jealous right now! Oops, did I just say that out loud??
Rachael: I fancy some rice...
Rachael: (To Jemma) If you have a kid, you've got to call him Brundon. Brundon Brucey Babes!!
|Night Out Quotes! (Part 6)||5/18/09|
|Rachael: (To a taxi driver on the way home from town) So is your taxi like your own car? Do you drive it when you're not working? How many cars have you got? What if you wanted to go to B&Q and buy loads of stuff, would you take your taxi? What car would you use if you wanted to go to Asda? Would you just take your taxi? Or would you take your other cars? Have you ever met anybody famous? What's the longest journey you've ever had to take? What if someone asked you to drive them to France, would you take them? How much money would it cost? Would you make a lot of money from that? So is this like your only job? Do you do this full time? Do you enjoy your job? Is it fun?|
Jemma: (About Rachael) I always say awww to her! She's just so cute!
Random Guy: Is that a bad thing?
Rachael: Oh the Irishness!
Rachael: No no, do NOT chat us up while you're peeing!
Jemma: Beside a graveyard!
Rachael: I so want that roof, I would do anything for that roof!
Jemma: Why do I recogise him?
Rachael: He's the "Oh my are you Irish?!" guy that I know. The one that speaks in a clearly Scottish accent!
Jemma: Oh no!!
Rachael: I just want to see somebody cry. Do you think anyone cries??
Creepy 50 Year old: (Trying to hit on Rachael) You're Scottish, right?
Rachael: No, I'm American!
Creepy 50 Year Old: American?
Creepy 50 Year Old: Oh thats cool! What part of America are you from?
Rachael: Erm, Los Angeles.
Creepy 50 Year Old: (5 mins later) Oh look, it's raining!
Rachael: (Standing, being soaked by the rain) It IS raining!
Creepy 50 Year Old: Yeah, and its raining in Los Angeles!
Jemma: Aww, we haven't peed together in ages!
Jemma: I'll be as quick as... as...
Rachael: A pancake!
Jemma: Yeah, as quick as a... Wait, why a pancake though?
Becca: I got to class earlier and I had a fly in my hair, and it was sooo stressful!!
Rachael: Westhill. It's just posh chavvy central!
Steph: Yeah, so It's like a college course. So I'm at class sometimes, but most of the time I'm training at the dentist.
Rachael: So does that mean your at college sometimes??
Cara: (After reading out instructions for 5 minutes) Ok?
Rachael: I'm sorry, I wasn't even listening to that!
Steph: Suction. You could say I do it!... At the dentist!!
(Playing a game of articulate, kind of like charades but you have to describe things instead of acting them out, then the other person has to guess what or who you are describing)
Rachael: (Describing 'John Cleese') He's old! He has a moustache!
Rachael: (Describing 'furniture') It's in a room! It's stuff!
Cara: Oh Rachael, I love your decsriptions of things!
Rachael: (Describing 'Mother Teresa') She's a person! She was good! Oh, I think she was a painting!
Rachael: (Describing 'a clog') You get it in toilets sometimes!! Um, um...
Ailidh: Sometimes?? Erm, I don't know! Pass!
Rachael: It was a clog! Oh no, wait. Thats a type of shoe, isn't it?!
Ailidh: (Describing 'nursery') It's where little people go before school!
Rachael: A bus!!
Ailidh: (Describing 'a banana') You peel it and then eat it. It's yellow.
Rachael: A potato!
Rachael: I'm not drinking tonight.
Steph: What?! Are you feeling ok???
Rachael: MINI RAVE!!!
Jemma: Oh no, you've put your diet coke on the Efron!!
Rachael: Ooh, message!
Jemma: My fridge?!?
Jemma: You just lobbed the Efron at me!
Jemma: Jesus in a grape???
Rachael: Oh no, I think I just put my head infront of the Efron!
Jemma and Rachael: (Singing along to the Hannah Montana theme tune on TV) You get the best of both worlds! Chillin' out take it slow, then you rock out the show. You've got the best of both worlds! Mix it all together and you know you've got the best of both wo -
Jemma and Rachael: Oh shit, we thought you were asleep!
Rachael: I think that was the loudest sleaze I've ever done!
Rachael: No no! I meant sneeze!!
|Night Out Quotes! (Part 5)||5/7/09|
|Morag: That guy looks like Jesus! He looks like Jesus! (To a load of randoms) We just saw Jesus! He's alive!!|
Morag: I'm a baboon! I'm a baboon!
Jemma: Aww, Rachael... You're so special!
Morag: Oh no... Where's my scarf?
Rachael: Around your neck!
Morag: I can't pout!
Steph: Try it.
Morag: (Pouts) That just looks like a duck! I'm a duck! I'm a duck!!
Morag: (Trying to take a photo of Kirsty) Look horrified... look horrified... look horrified... look horrified... No, now you just look turned on!
Morag: Rachael, did you see that my pants match my shoes?
Rachael: Yes. You showed me!
Morag: Oh, ok. Kirsty did you know that my pants match my shoes??
Jemma: I feel to posh dressed like this!
Rachael: I don't feel posh enough. I feel too chavvy dressed like this!
Morag: Hey gawjus!
Rachael: Did you just say "Can I have a poledance??"
Morag: You go over, I'll go under!... Rachael sit on my knee!
Kirsty: Is it wrong that I'm attracted to that guy with the Adidas jacket and the bald head??
Morag: I'm banging my heels together!
Chipper Man: Yay, it's you two again! (To Jemma) So.. are men still rubbish?
Rachael: Most men are.
Random Guy: Yeah men are rubbish, unless they're giving women food!
Ryan: You're saved as Rachael A on my phone.
Rachael: But my last name doesn't start with an A!
Ryan: I know that.. It's A for Awesome!
Rachael: Aww, yay! I'm Rachael.. Awesome!
Jemma: I have to say, back in the day I wouldn't have said no! But now... Oh no, wait, he's your boyfriend now!
Natalie: What did you just say??
Jemma: Erm.. Nothing!
Morag: Ow, my feet hurt!
Rachael: You're sitting down!
Morag: I'm considering telling stalker boy I'm a lesbian, maybe that will get rid of him. Will you be my lesbian lover??
Rachael: Haha, yeah sure. But then what about Jemma?!
Morag: We could have a threesome!
Rachael: He does like you. Remember what he said... He wants to marry me and have your babies!
Jemma: Yeah but he wants to marry you, he wants to spend the rest of his life with you!
Rachael: Ok yeah, but I'm not good enough to have his babies?!
Rachael: I don't think she's going to leave Espionage.
Morag: What?... Ever??
Morag: (Practicing speaking with different accents) Look, look.. I can speak like Rachael
Rachael: How do I speak then?
Morag: Erm... Like a bitch!
Jemma: Aww, Rachael, you are so sad! And soo cute!!
Ailidh: Oh no.. Even if we were the only 2 people left in the world!..... I would walk to Australia!!
Rachael: Oh, it's a sheep. I thought it was a dinosaur!!
Jemma: ... and all that shizzle!
Rachael: She's a shizzler!!
Rachael: Oi, Becca they're my peep show toes.. peep two shows.. toe peek shoes.. peep show...toe peep shows...
Becca and Jemma: PEEP TOE SHOES!!
Becca: (To Rachael) But peach snapps isn't alcohol!
Rachael: Yes it is!
Jemma: Oh dear. You can tell you two are sisters!
Rachael: Wine pastilles
Jemma: WINE GUMS!!
Jemma: Wait, are you leaving?
Rachael: Oh yeah. I'm just gonna leave you here alone with my family. Then you can go off and flirt with the DJ!
Jemma: Oh aye, the sexy DJ with the grey hair and the moustache.
Rachael: I think I'm gonna have a party here just so I can have more stovies and a magician!
Jemma: And the sexy DJ! I'd tap that!!
Jemma: Have I got cake on my mouth?
Rachael: No. Do I?
Jemma: There (Points to her mouth)
Jemma: No, YOU have cake there!!
Craig: (To Becca) You look like someone on TV...
Craig: Susan Boyle! You're dressed like her!
Rachael: Oh oh, I know this song... It's Hi Ho Silver Lin... Sweet Caroline!
Rachael: Jemma me and you should take up DJing. We'd rock a party!
Jemma: No it's too cold!
|Night Out Quotes! (Part 4)||4/28/09|
Rachael: Oh Nicola just texted me
Jemma: What did she say?
Rachael: Are you on the bus?.. Erm no, we are drunkenly walking up the street!
Rachael: Uh oh... I think I should just stop talking now. I'm really not making any sense!
Jemma: Ooh, theres an onion ring on the floor!
Jemma: No! Oh... I totally thought you were gonna eat it there!
Rachael: Sometimes I pull the most mingingest faces when I'm drunk!
Rachael: Oh my gosh, I'm totally in the mood to start skipping up the street! That's when I know I'm drunk!
Jemma: Oh no... get the hell out of my cheese bitch!
Rachael: I'm such a freak around Jemma.. I think she just has that effect on people!
Rachael: See, she has style... She drinks vinegar!
Jemma and Nicola: Drinks vinegar??
Rachael: Well technically you can't eat vinegar so you must drink it!
Jemma: Rachael, you just sit and eat your nachos ok?
Overheard Random: Hey Gav, why have you got a finger in your pint??
Rachael: Jemma, what are we like?! We can't stop bickering over the stupidist things tonight, it's so funny!
Jemma: Yeah. We're just like a couple!
Nicola: I know.. It's cute!
(Emma goes looking for Morag, Rachael and Jemma after they have been missing for over an hour. She goes to the toliets...)
Emma: What the hell are you doing in here?
Morag: Taking photos!
Emma: Guys... its closed!
(They walk out to an empty bar, with the cleaners sweeping the floor)
Jemma: See, we really do make a cute couple! Oh, if I was a man. Or gay...
Rachael: Oh, I could turn you gay if I wanted!
Jemma: I don't remember that. Was I drunk?
Morag: How funny would it be if a girl was called Debbie Hams??
Rachael: I wish people would stop 'lol'ing at things that don't need to be 'lol'ed at!
Random Guy: (To Morag) Can I have your number?
Morag. No! But just take my phone (Morag hands over her phone and walks off) No, wait, I need that!
Morag: Rachael... do you want to dance?
Rachael: Do I want to dance? Hell yeah! (Morag starts dancing at the table) Now? No!
Morag: (To Jemma) Can I brush your eyebrows?
Emma: I'm so fat I broke your necklace. Sorry, I will buy you a new one!
Morag: (Takes a photo of the inside of her mouth) Did my eyes just flash??
Rachael: This quiz is too difficult, and we're losing anyway. Do you just want to leave?
Natalie: Yeah, it's getting kinda boring. And we should go meet the others.
Rachael: Will I just put Chesney Hawkes for the rest of our answers? It's bound to come up at some point!
Morag: Rachael, I'm a drunk punk!
Rachael: (As she writes a text) Oh no... Where is my phone? I think I must have left it back inside the pub.
Morag: (Walks into a chipper) Is there anything thats not chips?
Morag: Emma make me pretty
Emma: It would take a lot more than lip gloss to make you pretty. It would take a cosmetic knife!
Morag: Rachael, Rachael... I didn't pull a ginger guy!
Rachael: Jemma, go take photos on your camera cuz Morag's camera makes people look ugly!
Morag: (In her text after a night out) Rachael i love you thanks for such a ducking fantastic might! Lol hagarlo oxy you arm such a legand Xxx
Rachael G: Rachael surely your liver must be fucked by now!
Natalie: I like this carpet, it matches my dress.
Rachael G: Oh you would love the kind of parties I go to. Everyone does the conga through the whole house, it's well fun.
Rachael P: Ace!
Rachael G: And I was at this party once and sniffer dogs turned up! And they weren't even invited!!
Rachael: (Taking shots) Cheers bubz!
Jemma: Cheers.. Bubz!
Jemma: I'm so excited for stud muffin!
Rachael: Oh I hate that, when your on a night out and you lose your friends and end up by yourself.... Although it's never happened to me, so I don't really know what I'm talking about
Jemma: You just shoosh and drink your alcohol!
Natalie: Rachael.. shut up!
|Night Out Quotes! (Part 3)||4/25/09|
|Dunk Guy's Friends: Come on, stop chatting up the girls, leave them alone! You're married.|
Steph, Laura, Rachael and Laura: You're married?
Drunk Guy: (To the girls) Oh yeah. Its ok. I'm gay...
Drunk Guy's Friends: (Looking confused and shocked) What???
Steph, Laura, Rachael and Laura: You're gay??
Drunk Guy: Erm (Thinks for a few seconds)... a wee bit!
Guy: And this is my mate, he's called 8 Ball...
Rachael: 8 Ball.. is that his real name??
Laura: What's your name?
Rachael: You should give him a text since we never got to see him tonight.
Jemma: Who? Grant?
Rachael: Aye, Granty Babes!!
Jemma: Oh look, there's Tom Jones! (That was his real name!)
Rachael: Oh go shout on him.
Jemma: No, you shout on him.
Rachael: No you!
Jemma: You do it!
Rachael: No... TOM!
Rachael: Has he texted you back yet?
Jemma: Who, Matt?
Rachael: Yeah, Matty Boy!!
Jemma: Oh no, I'm just not a fan.
Rachael: What? You're dressing up as a flan??
Lee: You're not my type. You're blonde...
Rachael: What's wrong with blondes? Are you saying I'm dumb?
Lee: No -
Jemma: What's wrong?
Rachael: He just called me stupid
Lee: No I didn't
Rachael: You said I was blonde and stupid. (To Jemma) He's trying to say I'm thick (Rachael walks off in a mood)
Jemma: (To Rachael) Did he actually say that you were stupid? Cuz if he did, that's reallly harsh!
Rachael: I don't know. I can't remember...
Rachael: I wish people would stop lolling at things that don't need to be lolled at!
Rachael: Oh Jemma, guess what I watched yesterday.. I watched this episode of Hannah Montana, and it was the funniest episode ever!
Jemma: Awww, you are so sad! And so cute!!
Rachael: Yeah, so I was talking to Granty - no wait, why was I going to say Granty Babes?? I wasn't talking to him...
Jemma: Oh you're just Granty Babes on the brain you are!
Rachael: I didn't realise how many photos we took until I was trying to put them on my computer and there was about a majillion photos!
Rachael: She thought that he looked younger than me. Like, that must take an awful lot of looking young!
Jemma: I was totally wondering what that red button was for!
Guy: Its for the heaters. See, it says 'turn me on'.
Jemma: Ooh, it can turn me on!.. It's freezing!
Rachael: Go ask him if he's got bebo!
Rachael: Jemma, Jemma, Jemma.
Jemma: Rachael, Rachael, Rachael... what?
Rachael: Jemma, seriously, why are we so drunk?
Jemma: Seriously, why are you drinking faster than me? That's not normal!
Rachael: I'm finished before you!
Jemma: What is wrong with the world??
Rachael: Oh Jemma, you naughty little monkey!
Jemma: (After writing a funny/embarassing drunken text) Oh no... go click send for me!
Rachael: Not this time babes...
Rachael: It's a P.J.
Jemma: A what???
Rachael: A private joke!
Jemma: ... I like them big.
Rachael: That is bebo material!
Jemma: (Finishes her drink before Rachael) And the world is back to the way it should be!
Rachael: I love drunk Morag!
Morag: I love drunk Rachael!
Rachael: Oh no, I dropped my fork, thats your fault!
Jemma: Hows that my fault?
Rachael: Cuz it is!
Jemma: Oh no, not you again!
Drunk/Stoned Guy: I'm sorry, I'm sorry -
Jemma: Go away! I'm not in the mood for you!
Drunk/Stoned Guy: Sorry, I'm not a creep, ok? I just want to talk about life, ok?
Jemma: You said that last time and you didn't want to talk about life. Just go away!
Rachael: No wait, well what part of life do you want to talk about?
Drunk/Stoned Guy: Erm... death!
Jemma: Oh, you know, just chavving along!
Jemma: Can I get a free rose for my friend, cuz its her birthday?
Woman: No, they're �2.
Woman: No, they're �2
Jemma: �2? No wait, i didn't say that, ignore that! �1.50?
Jemma: It smells really girly in here!
Rachael: I know... smells like grandma!
|Night Out Quotes! (Part 2)||4/7/09|
|Rachael: (After talking to the guy for 10 minutes) Oh wait... is your hair green?? I didn't even notice!|
Jemma: (To Rachael) Oh no, I'm drunker than you! That's never good!!
Jemma: I really need a fag! But they're way too expensive in that machine
Rachael: (Points to the Helpline number) Phone him, he might be able to give you a free fag!
Drunk Guy: You smell beautiful!.. (Great chat up line!)
Rachael: Oh I've had those shots before, they were pretty good.
Jemma: What's in it?
Rachael: I don't really know. Well it's like a layer of red, with a big see-through layer on top, and then just like a plonk of Bailey's in the middle that looks like a tornado of sick...
Barry: (In KFC) Ok, what do you want?
Jemma: I don't know... I fancy some chicken.
Rebecca: Can I have your monkey yet?
Rachael: What monkey?
Rebecca: The one from the TeePee Chips advert...
Rachael: You mean PG Tips? Like the tea??
Jemma: He was being so sexist last night. And so midgetist...
Doreen: (Waiting to cross to the other side of Union Street during rush hour) What's keeping us?
Rachael G: Who you texting baby?
Rachael P: Did you just call me baby?
Doreen: Oh, I don't like the thought of a strange cat coming through my cat flap!
Morag: I don't have a cat flap.
Doreen: No, neither do I...
Emma: You should get one for James!
Doreen: A cat flap? He'd need a bloody monster flap!
Jade: Oh, we should totally go to a gaybar!
Scott: Haha, oh yeah, but then she won't be able to meet any guys tonight...
Jade: Oh yeah
Scott: But then I don't know if that would stop her!
Rachael: I always get bullied when I'm drunk!
Morag: I love Pink, even though she's a lesbian icon.
Emma: What? You're a lesbian??
Morag: (Shouting at the photographer as he walks past) PHOTO!! We need a photo!
Rachael: I need to dance now.
Emma: No Morag. Fellow A Team members don't lick each other!
Doreen: (Looking at a menu) What is there for pudding? A chocolate brownie explosion... She'll just come and shit on the table! That sounds horrible that! (Reading more from the menu) A warm mountain of chocolate brownies... We can all just shit on the table!
Everybody: Doreen, sshh!
Doreen: You won't be wanting a dessert now, aye! Shit pie!
The Waiter: Can I get you's any desserts?
Doreen: What like's the brownie explosion?
The Waiter: It's quite nice actually.
Doreen: Oh... Anybody else fancy some??
Morag: I think he's got extensions. Should we tell him?
Emma: I think he'll probably know!
Rachael: (To a really annoying drunk guy) You should go to Liquid. It's amazing, you'll love it!
Drunk Guy: You're amazing! (He walks off to go to Liquid)
Rachael: (To Morag and Jemma) Just tell everybody disgusting to go to Liquid. Since we're not gonna be there!
Rebecca: ... And then the penguins came off their boat and made sushi for alex...
Random Guy 1: (To Rachael and Jemma) You two are lovely. (To his friend) Aren't they lovely?
Random Guy 2: Yeah, you both are. (To Rachael) But I bet you're not as innocent as you look!
Rachael: Oi, whats that supposed to mean?
Random Guy 2: Well your friend looks innocent, but you... nah i don't think you would be very innocent. I can just tell.
Rachael: Hey, I'm a lot more innocent than Jemma is!
Random Guy 1: Doubt it...
Jemma: Oh my... are you Irish?? (One of Jemma's most used phrases!)
Morag: (To a homeless man on Union Street) Are you actually homeless? Or are you pretending? Because I mean, why would you pretend? Why don't you get a job and get your own money?
Rachael: JEMMA!... Help me get Morag into Priory, she's acting like a weirdo!!
Rebecca: Whoa... Oh Rachael, I turned around and for a second there I thought you looked like Kevin from the Jonas Brothers!
|Night Out Quotes!||3/31/09|
|Jemma: Don't worry, there's plenty more emos in the sea!|
Jemma: Eww, I just stood on a pickle... No wait, it was a gherkin!
Rachael: I am totaly drunk right now!
Jemma: He doesn't need to know why he's being slapped, he just needs to know he's being slapped.
Rachael: He is actually beautiful!!
Jemma: He's got hair like a sheep!
Jemma: Mega confused fucking dot com!!
Random Drunk Polish Guy: I don't want no sex, I don't want no kisses. I just want to talk about life, ok?... I know I'm an ugly shite...
Rachael: Do you believe in ghosts?
Rachael: HE'S BALD! (Turns to see a bald guy standing next to her, looking really offended) Shit!
Kirsty: I think that's the funniest thing you've EVER said!!
Jemma: (Most used phrase) Is he hot?
Jemma: Down it woman!
Rachael: No wait.. It's too fizzy, I can't!
Everyone: Awww, Rachael you're so cute!!
Rachael, Kirsty and Jemma: Shall we just get our ID out now??
Drunk Guy: Seriously, I have really soft hair! Feel my hair!!
Jemma: The gobby shite wasn't too bad looking, he was just a bit of a gobby shite!
Emma: Aww, Rachael you look so innocent... But you're not!
Beryl: Trust the debenhams crew to be in amongst the cake!!
Jemma: Oooh, was he hot?
Rachael: Gads no!!
Jemma: Omg, I'm vibrating!
Jemma: 'Tis deleted!
Random Drunk/Stoned Stalker: I know what you must be thinking, Im a bit of a creep. But I'm not like that, I just want someone to talk to. Lets talk about life, ok?
Random Drunk/Stoned Stalker: Let me take you to the beach, and we can go sit and talk about life there....
Rachael: Erm, no!
Random Drunk/Stoned Stalker: I know what you're thinking, I'm just some stupid Russian creep
Random Drunk/Stoned Stalker: Well I'm not even Russian... I'm Polish
Jemma: I did enjoy this, I must say!
Rachael: (Most used phrase) I have a Miley Cyrus song stuck in my head!
Morag: Lets sit down my feet hurt. (2 minutes later) No wait I want to dance, lets go dance. (2 minutes later) I need to sit down. (2 minutes later) Let's dance. (2 minutes later) Ouch, my feet hurt, lets sit down again......
Jemma: That was so mean!
Rachael: I know. But he loves me in his own little gay way.
(Hot guy walks to the bar. Rachael and Jemma turn to each other)
Rachael and Jemma: Oooh...
(They realise how loud that was, and try to slyly take their shots)
Blair: My boyfriend's gonna come and pick us up with his bike.
Sarah: But wait, there's 3 of us. How are we all ging to fit on his motorbike?
Blair: No, he doesn't have a motorbike. He's got his pushbike.
(Sarah and Rachael are on the floor laughing for 20 minutes)
Rachael: Ew, no. You work in strip club... DO NOT stare at me!!
Jemma: Oh no, I can't even stand straight.
Random Drunk Dude: Do you want me to stand gay??
Jemma: Hurry up woman!
Rachael: No wait, I'm having issues here!...
Rachael and Jemma: That's totally got to go on bebo!
Jemma: Nobody should ever have that much cheese in their mouth at one time.
Rachael: I don't think I'm gonna remember this in the morning!
Overheard Random: He's got that thing, you know... Whats it called?... Oh, hairy toe syndrome!
Jemma: Text me back, bitch.
Rachael: Wait... how did we get from talking about easter eggs, to Spongebob to the Hoff?
Jemma: I don't know. I like it though!
Rachael: I keep eating these chips even though I don't like them.
Jemma: Stop eating them then!
Rachael: I can't
Jemma Why not?
Rachael: I don't know
Rachael: I don't know what it is, but I totally seem to be attracted to gay men!
Random Guy: You've got a tidy ass!
Jemma: Who was he talking to, you or me?
Rachael: I don't know... It must have been you, cuz you were walking in front of my ass when they were walking past!
Rachael: (Taking shots) Cheers babes!!
|Bebo Family (write a comment telling me who you wanna be)||9/3/06|
Big Sister-- [[Kathryn]]
Big Brother-- [[Dougie]]
Little Brother-- [[Neil/Sonny]]
Evil Twin-- [[Ailidh]]
Ace Twin-- [[Blair]]
Cousin 1-- [[Sam]]
Cousin 2-- [[Scott]]
Cousin 3-- [[C.Rhiace]]
Great Great Great Grandma-- [[Leanne F]]
Great Great Great Grandad--
Father-in-law-- [[Tom C]]
Fairy God Mother-- [[Chris]]
Fairy God Father-- [[Dominic]]
The whore-- [[Leanne T]]
Stalker-- [[Tom D]]
Good bitch-- [[Hannah]]
Bad bitch-- [[Christina]]
Good enemy-- [[Martin W]]
Best friend-- [[Shahana]]
Hotty-- [[Aimee W]]
Person i'm having an affair with-- [[Josh]]
Bit on the side-- [[Daniel]]
My Panda-- [[Alexis]]
My Frank Iero-- [[Jimmithy]]