"someday the whole world will speak with a scottish accent!"
|The World is Officially CRAZY !!!!!!!!!!!! |
In case you needed further proof that the world has gone potty, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down.
(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)
On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)
On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's just a suggestion.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me time?)
On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(..I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to what?)
On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: say what?)
On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
|BAD NEWS BEARS!!||11/26/07|
|the one liners in this film are absolutley hilarious!!|
i dont think we should give up- no me either- what do you think *cnt memebr the wee guys name-...sometimes bird poo tastes lyk candy!!!
theres no 'i' in team- no but hteres an 'm' and an 'e'- there should b an 'f' and a 'u'
wen ur tooth falls out and u put it under ur pillow he comes and takes it and puts money there instead- nooo u dickhead thats the tooth fairy!!!
have u got a probkem?- no but u do...and its called my foot up ur ass!!
damn i cnat think of nemore..wen i do il ad them!!wtch this film i love it!!Lol!
|r u a victim??!lmao!!||12/10/06|
|1. You are at a bar or club and you suddenly realize you recognize someone. You can't figure out how and then it dawns on you... You have never met this person before, but have spent a considerable amount of time looking at their bebo.|
2. After meeting someone your conversation somehow leads to - "So, are you on bebo?" like we do this to nearly everyone we talk to!
3. You do not call people anymore, you post comments and send messages through bebo
4. When talking about one of your friends you just refer to them as "Brandonisforlovers" rather than their real name.
5. When you're out with friends and you take a good picture you exclaim loudly, "That's going on bebo!"
6. Conversations with friends tend to lead to, "Did you read that bulletin/comment/ or see that new picture 'Cuddlemaria' left?"
7. You check your bebo as soon as you wake up, and right before you go to bed, including the 10 times you check it during the day.
8. You start off intending to check if you have new messages/comments but find AN HOUR LATER that you are still on and have no idea what you even accomplished during that time except stalk. we are totally guilty of this!
9. You find yourself laughing (sadly) and agreeing as you read these, and you know you're going to repost this for everyone else to see.
|my wee poem for ryan!!R.I.P!!x x x||9/24/06|
|im glad i have memories,im glad of photograps|
were wud i b without these things and ur cute little laugh!
i remember al the times u smiled and al the times of fun
but i cn nt find a memory were u frowned not even a tiny one!!
its hard to know that your not here and that we cant get u bak
we live in hope that ur in heaven,sharing the angels with tupac.
you were a great we rapper, and tupac will b glad
cuz now he has competition up there and some1 equally as mad!!
i no u can see al of us now,i no u see us cry,
its sad that you had to go before you found out why!
we love you so much ryan,we will miss you till the end,
but we cant hold bak these tears now bcuz u r r friend!
weve al got things to remember you by,a poem,a picture,a song
and we know with you guiding us we can do nothing wrong!
i hope your watching over us and listening to our prayers
because when our time of heaven comes we hope to c u there.
luv ya n miss ya always!!x x x x
|memory blog..plz do it!! x x||8/30/06|
|Leave one memory of you and me together as a comment. It doesn't matter if I know you a little or a lot, anything you remember. Next, repost this bulletin on your own blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. |
|gud 2 remember if ur goin to belfast!Lol||8/23/06|
Afeard - scared
Ah - I or me, ie Ah don't feel well
Aminal -common mispronounciation of Animal
Amptinat? -I most definitely am.
Ar$ehole -calling someone a rectum
Aye -meaning "yes"
Balleex -"b0ll0cks" Thats balleex - Used in context when disagreeing with someone
Bake -someones face
Baltic - quite cold
Banjaxed - drunk
Bate -beat, I bate her up so ah did
Bate The Wife - bottle of cider
Beef -male sexual organ ie "Ah slipped her the beef lawst nite"
Beezer - Very good, Thats Beezer
Beg -wafer thin plastic vessel; good for carrying shopping :also oul' beg" when referring to an elderly female
Blurt -Slang for female genetalia
Boggen - dirty, unclean
Boulin' -messing about
Bout Ye -"Hello"
Brave - large
Brew - weekly benefit
Cameracorder -grannies use of the word "camcorder"
Cheeser -like Beezer, meaning "very good" or "exellent"
Chicken -child slang for "afraid"
Chinks -popular Chinese food Take Aways
Cracker -not something you put cheese on, means beezer
Dander -a walk, ie I'm goin fer a dander
Dawg -canine, dog
Digikil -common mis-prounciation of "Digital"
Dour -a door
Earlee-er -before the present
Eejit -derived from "Idiot", means "Idiot"
Eff Aaf - F*ck Off
FaakAaf - Excuse me my good man, kindly vacate the premises
Fally - follow
Fillum -a movie or film
Fingy -someone whose name you can't remember
Frig -polite word for "F*ck", also used: Flip
Flour - a floor
Fut - foot
Gat -slang, You're a wee gat or get
Geg -fun, "Ats a geg"
Getawaydaf*ck -go away now
Givuz -give me
Goes -replaces the word "Said" ie And I goes: What? Are you slabberin'?" And then she goes,Yip."
Gutties -training shoes
Happy Days - that's good
Hardly -meaning "Thats not true" ie Hardly now. Hardly.
Hectic - See Mad
Heel -not to be confused with the back of your foot, means end of a loaf
Heerzme - "And then I said..."
Hippy - someone who likes Bon Jovi
Houl On -please wait
Job -activity usually carried out under the cover of night
Kudn't -couldn't ie Ah kudn't do that...
Lairdindeyit -please do start eating (or drinking) see also
Leenantarsapees -Famous Italian landmark
Lifted - arrested
Mad - See Hectic
Mairshen -Emersion Heater
Magic -not tricks, but another word meaning great or good
Majassif - large
Mawn -a man, male
Meat Wagon -RUC Landrovers
Melt -no actual meaning, used as: "I'll knock your melt in"
Messages - weekly shopping
Milly -name given to teenage females. See also: Steek
Moufycunt - rather outspoken person
Mucker -a friend or mate
Muller -Mother or "Ma"
Nek it - drink that drink in one
Nice One -that was good
Norman -bullying term for someone with no friends
Norwegain - Another Gin please
Now Yer Sucken Deezel -that's a good way of going about that
Offees -alchohol retailer
Oi -a yelp for someones attention ie Oi! You! C'mere!"
Pat - container in which food is boiled
Prably -maybe, its likely
Passion -heavy rain in Ballymena
Parfil - strong
Peeler -a police officer
Pot - short for Patrick
Pssskety -common misprounciation of "Spaghetti"
Pump - to urinate
Purdie -countryside slang for Potato
Quim -slang for female genetalia
Ragin' -angry, Ahm bloody ragin' so ah am.
>> >>>Ration -you'd be doing this if you were trying to get to somewhere
in a hurry, in Ballymena
Rare -not to be confused with "scarce", means crap
Samitch -mispronunciation of "Sandwhich"
Scundered - embarrassed
Sebm -seven 
Shar -a shower
Sicken' Ye - would annoy you
Skinned Ye! - Haha my good friend, I do believe I won that particular game by a significant margin
Slabber -someone who makes bad comments about you behind your back or to your face
Spoofen - lying
Spide - see Steek
Spoon -someone with a low IQ
Steek -male with bad dress and hair sense
Stroked - stolen / ripped off
Ta -Thank You
Tarl - a towel
Theee -the number three
Theee Leet - 3 litre bottle of cider
Till -replaces the word "to" ie Goin till the shap"
Tube -see: Spoon
Two Leet - 2 litre bottle of cider
Undurstawnd -understand ie Do ye undurstawnd me?
Weaker -yet another word for "brilliant"
Welt -male genitals
Wee -put in front of words such as "drink", "dander", and basically anything
Wick -not exactly brilliant
Willik - nose
Wiredintillit -"Got wiredintillit earlee-er"
Windie -a window
Windielickurs -horrid term for the mentally disadvantage
Windie Still -a window sill
Wheelie bin - a bin
Wooden One -not a clever person
Yermaa -an insult said when nothing else can be thought of
Yeegittin? -Are you being served?
Yousens - When addressing more than one person
|advice 2 fellas!lol!-20 ways 2 keep ur girl!||8/21/06|
|1. Hugs from behind.|
2. Grab her hand when you walk next to each other(don't make her grab yours).
3. When standing, wrap your arms around her.
4. Cuddle with her.
5. DON'T FORCE HER TO DO ANYTHING.
6. Write little notes.
7. Compliment her Honestly.
8. When you hug her, hold her in your arms as long as possible.
9. Be super sweet to her.
10. Call her at night to wish her sweet dreams.
11. Comfort her when she cries.
12.Wipe away her tears
13. Love her with all your heart.
14. Pick her up and flirt with her (she'll scream and say put me down but really she loves it).
15. Be a gentleman (hold the door for her).
16. Don't let your friends talk trash about her, it'll get back 2 her!
& DONT ever act diff in front of ur friends than u r when its just u and her!!!!
17. Take her for a long walk at night!
18. Always bring a blanket where ever you go outside when its cold to comfort her and hold her close
19. NEVER LIE TO HER!!!!!! because then she will think everything you ever said to her was a lie, even "i love you"
20.On her birthday give her a birthday kiz wif a hEeeUGE big expensive gift
|i dont no ne1 like this....do i?:D:D||6/22/06|
|When girls drink to much: |
> >> 1. I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHERE MY PURSE IS.
> >> 2. I BELIEVE THAT DANCING WITH MY ARMS OVERHEAD AND WIGGLING MY BUTT
> >>WHILE YELLING "WOO-HOO!" IS TRULY THE SEXIEST DANCE MOVE AROUND.
> >> 3. I'VE SUDDENLY DECIDED I WANT TO KICK SOMEONE'S ASS AND HONESTLY
> >>BELIEVE I COULD DO IT TOO.
> >> 4. IN MY LAST TRIP TO PEE, I REALIZE I NOW LOOK MORE LIKE A HOMELESS
> >>HOOKER THAN THE GODDESS I WAS JUST FOUR HOURS AGO.
> >> 5. I DROP MY 3:00 A.M. SUBMARINE SANDWICH ON THE FLOOR (WHICH I'M
> >>EATING EVEN THOUGH I'M NOT THE LEAST BIT HUNGRY), PICK IT UP AND CARRY
> >>EATING IT.
> >> 6. I START CRYING AND TELLING EVERYONE I SEE THAT I LOVE THEM SOOOOO
> >> 7. I GET EXTREMELY EXCITED AND JUMP UP AND DOWN EVERY TIME A NEW
> >>PLAYS BECAUSE "OH MY GOD! I LOVE THIS SONG!"
> >> 8. I'VE FOUND A DEEPER/SPIRITUAL SIDE TO THE GEEK SITTING NEXT TO
> >> 9. THE MAN I'M FLIRTING WITH USED TO BE MY 5TH GRADE TEACHER.
> >> 10. THE URGE TO TAKE OFF ARTICLES OF CLOTHING, STAND ON A TABLE AND
> >> SING OR DANCE BECOMES STRANGELY OVERWHELMING.
> >> 11. MY EYES JUST DON'T SEEM TO WANT TO STAY OPEN ON THEIR OWN SO I
> >> THEM HALF CLOSED AND THINK IT LOOKS EXOTICALLY SEXY.
> >> 12. I'VE SUDDENLY TAKEN UP SMOKING AND BECOME REALLY GOOD AT IT.
> >> 13. I YELL AT THE BARTENDER, WHO (I THINK) CHEATED ME BY GIVING ME
> >> LEMONADE, BUT THAT'S JUST BECAUSE I CAN NO LONGER TASTE THE GIN.
> >> 14. I THINK I'M IN BED, BUT MY PILLOW FEELS STRANGELY LIKE THE
> >> FLOOR
> >> 15. I START EVERY CONVERSATION WITH A BOOMING, "DON'T TAKE THIS THE
> >> WRONG WAY BUT..."
> >> 16. I FAIL TO NOTICE THAT THE TOILET LID'S DOWN WHEN I SIT ON IT.
> >> 17. MY HUGS BEGIN TO RESEMBLE WRESTLING TAKE-DOWN MOVES.
> >> 18. I'M TIRED SO I JUST SIT ON THE FLOOR (WHEREVER I HAPPEN TO BE
> >> STANDING) AND TAKE A QUICK NAP.
> >> 19. I BEGIN LEAVING THE BUTTONS OPEN ON MY BUTTON FLY PANTS TO CUT
> >> ON THE TIME I'M IN THE BATHROOM AWAY FROM MY DRINK.
> >> 20. I TAKE MY SHOES OFF BECAUSE I BELIEVE IT'S THEIR FAULT THAT I'M
> >> HAVING PROBLEMS WALKING STRAIGHT
|perfect man!fill er in n let em no!||6/4/06|
ok girls dis 4 u! wel actuali its kinda 4 da felas 2,u no wat da gals want lmao!
ok ere we go, da perfect man quiz!!
1)height? e.g. tall, short, 5"11?
2)hair colour? blond, black, brown?
3)hair style? short/spiky, long/curli?
4)muscles? hot r not?
7)new age man? i.e. in2 shavin n fake tan n dat?
9)mancho man r a man hu can show his emotions?
10)humour? sacastic humour/toilet humour/practical jkr?
11)treat em mean keep em keen r a romantic fela?
13)smartness? do u lik a fela hus smarter dan u?
14)dress sense? grudge/skater/rock/fashionable?
15)makeup?! lik eyeliner n al!
17)sportsman r lazy couch potato?!
1 time spent in hair usin straighteners n dat?
19)ok big finale, pink shirts, hot r nt?! lik dats even a q worth askin!!!
ok so every1 has 2 do this!!!!!!
|wasnt guna put it up but its here nw!!||4/28/06|
|1. Who are you?|
2. Are we friends?
3. When and How did we meet?
4. Do you have a crush on me?
5. Have you ever wanted to punch me?
6. Give me a nickname and explain why?
7. Describe me in 1 word
8. What was your first impression of me?
9. Do u still think the same?
10. What reminds you of me?
11. If you could give me anything what would it be?
12. How well do you know me?
13. When was the last time you saw me?
14. Ever wanted to tell me something that you couldn't?
15. Are you going to put this on your blog and see what I say about you