Blessed Metal Emoslayer <Howling_Lunatic>

"Death to all...but metal."

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To-do List for Life11/18/09
- Get what I want for a profession, and love the hell outta my job.
- Try and find true happiness outside of work.
- Hold a fox
- Pet a wolf
- Hug a tiger
- Make a home in balance with nature
- Slice a watermelon in two with some form of bladed weapon
- See all the wonders of the world
- Visit Germany
- Live in Germany for a while (maybe longer, who knows?)
- Live in Canada for a while (maybe longer, who knows?)
- Wear a fursuit
- Meet Rammstein
- Get a piggy-back ride from Rob Trujillo
- Give Lars Ulrich a piggy-back ride.
- Have a conversation with a Native American
- Assemble a Warhammer army of at least 1000 points
- Game with a Warhammer army of at least 1000 points
- Paint a Warhammer army of at least 1000 points
- Find a way to make "perks" in real-life. (For example, being a Cyborg with Wired Reflexes, Juggernaut and Stopping Power)
- Slay a king in his own castle (beat someone who claims to be the best at something)
- Make a car explode
- Pick up Matt Bellamy and carry him to wherever he wants to go.
- Wear a suit of armour
- Fire a rocket launcher
- Get Ari to make ME a sandwich

<more to come>
Roter Sand (Red Sand) - Rammstein10/17/09

Eine Liebe, ein Versprechen
Sagt, "Ich komm zur�ck zu dir"
Nun, ich muss es leider brechen
Seine Kugel steckt in mir

Eine Liebe, zwei Pistolen
Eine zielt mir ins Gesicht
Er sagt, ich h�tte dich gestohlen,
Dass du mich liebst, wei� er nicht

Roter Sand und zwei Patronen
Eine stirbt im Pulverkuss
Die Zweite soll ihr Ziel nicht schonen
Steckt jetzt tief in meiner Brust

Eine Liebe, ein Versprechen
Ach, das Blut l�uft aus dem Mund
Und keiner wird mich r�chen
Sinnlos, gehe ich zu Grund

Eine Liebe, zwei Pistolen
Einer konnte schneller zielen
Nun ich bin es nicht gewesen
Jetzt geh�rst du ihm

Roter Sand und zwei Patronen
Eine stirbt im Pulverkuss
Die Zweite soll ihr Ziel nicht schonen
Steckt jetzt tief in meiner Brust

Roter Sand und wei�e Tauben
Laben sich an meinem Blut
Am Ende gibt es doch ein Ende
Bin ich doch zu etwas gut

Roter Sand und zwei Patronen
Eine stirbt im Pulverkuss
Die Zweite soll ihr Ziel nicht schonen
Steckt jetzt tief in meiner Brust


A love, a promise
Said "I'll come back to you"
Now I have to break it, unfortunately
His bullet is in me

One love, two pistols
One is aimed at my face
He says I stole you
That you love me, he does not know

Red sand and two cartridges
One dies in the kiss of powder
The second will not miss its goal
Stuck deep in my chest now

A love, a promise
Oh, the blood running from my mouth
And nobody will avenge me
Senseless, I go to the ground

One love, two pistols
One was quickly able to aim
Well, it wasn't me
Now you belong to him

Red sand and two cartridges
One dies in the kiss of gunpowder
The second will not miss its goal
Stuck deep in my chest now

Red sand and white doves
Feast on my blood
In the end, there is but an end
At least I'm good for something

Red sand and two cartridges
One dies in the kiss of gunpowder
The second will not miss its goal
Stuck deep in my chest now
Music Blog9/24/09
Step 1: Put your music player on shuffle.
Step 2: Post the first line from the first 50 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing. (I did 75 cause I was bored)
Step 3: Strike through the songs when someone guesses both artist and track correctly.
Step 4: For those who are guessing -- looking the lyrics up on a search engine is CHEATING!
Step 5: If you like the game, post it your blog

1. I will not regret, no, no!
2. Hello Darkness, my old friend...
3. I'm tearing away.
4. Well, now, dont you tell me to smile
5. Messenger of fear in sight
6. Why does it feel like night today?
7. Hey little sister, what have you done?
8. Graffiti decorations under a sky of dust
9. Spineless from the start
10. One life, I'm gonna live it up
11. Scum of the earth, come on!
12. Say say my playmate, wont you lay hands on me?
13. You'll take my life, but I'll take yours too!
14. I woke up in a Soho doorway, a policeman knew my name
15. I've exposed your
16. Sweet dreams are made of this...
17. It starts thing, I dont know why.
18. Its too bad that yu have made mistakes
19. The microphone explodes, shattering the mold
20. Bury the priest and burn religion alive!
21. Leeeeeeeee, Leeeeeeeee, Leeeeeeeeee
22. One last thing I beg you please
23. I am so alike you in so many ways
24. I said the Joker is a wanted man
25. I close my eyes, only for a moment.
26. Holy Diver, you've been down too long in the midnight sea
27. Life it seems will fade away
28. Come gather 'round people, wherever you roam
29. Imprisoned inside this mind
30. Ooh baby, don't ya know I suffer?
31. I hate you...I hate you...SHUT UP
32. Another mission, the powers have called me away
33. I can't escape this hell
34. Faster than a bullet, terrifying scream
35. A long ass fuckin' time ago
36. Purple haze, all in my brain
37. Du kampfst mehr, immer mehr
38. With karate I'll kick your ass
39. Dont walk the cold and ruthless streets
40. You can find a way to release my passion
41. I do not need (he does not need) a microphone (a microphone)
42. We're all living in America
43. Auf jeden Tisch liegt bleiche Haut
44. Finished with my woman cause she couldn't help me with my mind
45. Guilty as charged, but damn, it ain't right
46. Aw shit, get your towels ready, its about to go down
47. Living, fighting, obsessing
48. When there's lightning, you know it always brings me down
49. Memories consume, like opening the wound
50. Is it any wonder why I'm scared?
51. All you people up there, in city hall
52. Today is the greatest day they'll know
53. Shriek the lips across ragged tongue
54. From the top to the bottom (and at the top I stop)
55. Gotta leave your seat, gotta get up on your feet
56. I got my head a jumbo jet
57. I climb up on my faithful steed
58. Come ride with me, through the veins of history
59. Do you feel that...? Oh shit... OOH AH AH AH AH
60. Promise that you always will, keep candles lit on the windowsill
61. Tu bosses toute ta vie pour payer ta pierre tombale
62. The world is my expense, the cost of my desire
63. I was born long ago, I'm chosen, I'm the one
64. Fast and furious, we ride the universe
65. There I was completely wasting, out of work and down
66. I left alone, my mind was blank
67. I've done my share of working out
68. I watched you walk away, loveless, with nothing to say
69. Beyond the boundaries of your city's lights
70. Damn...a hard day's rockin'
71. I don't want to set the world on fire
72. You mesmerise slowly till I can't believe my eyes
73. Come and climb the mountain
75. Howling winds keep screamin' 'round
Interview Log AK-10 - "Owl" --- Cpl. Harald Fress9/19/09
NB: Interrogator <name classified> hence forth known as "Owl"

<log begins>

Owl: What happened once the barbarians came within your range?

Fress: Well, half of us took up firing positions, me included. The otherhalf, they screamed and ran. They was saying how we was all going to die, and that they'd never seen brutes that size before.

Owl: They ran? You mean to say, they ran back into the fort?

Fress: Yessir. Well...they tried.

Owl: Explain.

Fress: Well, thats when Lord Kryzlac arrived, you see. He wasnt best pleased. He caught Gordan (Cpl. Gordan Highley) by his throat and slammed him to the ground, bellowing at the top of his lungs, he was! "You lot" says he, "No retreat, you dogs! Another step back and I swear I'll have your heads on the pikes just like these savages!" So, most of us started yelling at the others to get back in formation, and they did, sharpish.

Owl: And you held the position?

Fress: Yessir. I wouldn't be here if we didnt.

Owl: Was this your first time encountering Akre Kryzlac?

Fress: Oh yessir. Well, I've seen him about town. Really nice bloke, always says hello. But this was my first time seeing him at work.

Owl: I see. Tell me about his regiment.

Fress: Begging your pardon sir?

Owl: His unit. "The Eternals", some of the captains cal them.

Fress: Oh, those boys. I wouldn't know much about those lads now, sir. All I know is that they aint so much given to obeying the orders of anyone but the king and the priests. I know that Lord Drnadford, the prince I mean, doesnt like them. They dont listen to him you see. I wouldn;t either mind you, he's a scrawny bastard with his head up his-

Owl: Why only orders from the king?

Fress: Well, its not the king I dont think. Those boys are real good guys, you know? Religious, give money to beggars, help out cripples. The king is like that too, so they get on, see?

Owl: Tell me about Priestess Redfon.

Fress: Sorry? Oh, Ms. Redfon. She's a nice lady, lke most of them in the chapel. What of her?

Owl: Her relation to Kryzlac.

Fress: Pardon? I'm sorry sir, I dont know what you mean.

Owl: We have heard reports of her being a kind of mother to him since his own mother died when he was younger.

Fress: Begging your pardon, but I dont know anything about that, sir.

Owl: ...very well. You may go. Speak of this to nobody, but return discreetly if you find out anything of importance about either Kryzlac or Redfon.

Fress: Yessir.

<log ends>
Bah, I dont name things!7/22/09
There was a palpable air of tense excitement in the courtyard.The sky was a depressing shade of grey, no clouds to distract the more nervous people attending the trial. A massive statue stood atop a podium in the middle of the square, an imposing man bearing a burning torch and a great marble shield. At its feet, a middle aged woman dressed in rags cowered in front of a stake, daring not to look up at her prosecutors or the two guards at her side. Her silent tears darkened the dry cobblestones. Nearly the whole population of the place had arranged around her, clogging the narrow alleys and leaning over balconies to get a look at the events transpiring in the High Court of Holfornon City .
The judge, Prince Drandford II, glared down upon the accused with cruel dark eyes from his throne at the top of the steps to the shrine of Ghilode, the warrior-god, his hands clenched tightly together. His grand appearance, created by fine clothes bedecked with glittering jewels, did nothing to make him anymore noble-looking. He was a harsh man, and everyone knew it, too afraid to speak the truth
The jury, assembled around the Prince, his sycophantic advisors. Lesser nobles, military captains and priests, all huddling around their leader, trying to remain personal, trying to remain in his good graces, uncaring of anything but him, and the benefits he brought. Even now, they were glancing up at the Prince, paying no real attention to the matter at hand.
And the executioner. Akre Kryzlac. Possibly the most frightening person present, a dragon with a man?s body. Clad in thick black plate armour to match his dark-as-night blue scaled skin, a seven-foot tall drake looked down with pity at the woman sobbing on the ground. But there was nothing he could do. His job as a marshal of King Drandford was to obey orders, not to mourn for the life of the citizens. At least, that?s what they told him.
The atmosphere changed. The tension mounted as the Prince leant forward, a sneer on his face. His advisors too leant forward, making poor attempts at looking truly threatening.
?You, Sara Highley, are accused of illegal use of magic, for the purpose of brewing potions. Explain yourself.? he growled, nearly spitting at the woman.
The crowd seemed to shift as one. They knew full well what the Prince was going to do. The sadistic bastard always asked these questions, pretending to piece together a logical course of action to take and then he denied his clearly innocent victim their reprieve. They all remembered the witch-hunts he had led, burning down tiny shops selling trinkets and even taverns that imported foreign wines. Prince Drandford II hated mages and magic, potions and all. There would be only one outcome in this sad excuse for a trial.
The woman stopped her sobbing to look up and around. Akre caught her eyes and nodded solemnly to her with a small smile. She smiled back weakly and turned from the drake to the Prince, tears still in her eyes, but her voice steady.
?My lord, please have mercy! My grandmother was ill and I could not afford the medicine! It was nothing more than a simple charm an-?, she stuttered, before being silenced by a derisive snort from the Prince.
?Ha! You expect me to believe you, you filthy heretic? You, as well as the rest of this fair city? (He gestured around himself) ?know that magic is one of the many languages of demons! You speak with demons, you wretch, and you beg me for forgiveness??
The Prince stood up to his full height, gazing down at the woman, to make his power known to her. Another noble, an elf, moved forward from behind him and muttered in his ear.
?Lord, perhaps you should pass this matter over to your father. He wil-?
The Prince rounded on her.
?Hold your tongue, Ratheila! Am I to assume you have sympathy for this heretic?!? he growled.
The elf shook her head vigorously.
?No! Of course not, my liege, but I was merely suggesting your father could bring greater ju-"
Again, cut off by the Prince.
?And now you doubt my power? One more word, and it?ll be the same fate for you!? he said. He turned as she fell silent and retreated to the cabal. He brought his sight back upon the crying woman.
?You will get no forgiveness. No person in this land who associates with dark beings will walk free among pure souls! I?ll strike you down myself, heathen!?
Striding forward, knocking his surprised followers and the guards aside, Prince Drandford II drew his dagger and seized the woman by the collar, dragging her up. His face was frozen in a snarl, eyes full of bloodthirsty rage. He rose his knife high into the air, feeling his power pump through him, hearing the woman?s beautiful scream of terror, the shouts of the guards. It was just pure pleasure to him. He plunged down for the kill.
A hand with a grip of iron took hold of the Prince?s arm.
Akre Kryzlac was at his side, towering above him. Drandford II stared at him with a mix of outrage and fear.
?My lord, your father would not be pleased with this. He reminded you of your duty before this trial, did he not?? Akre said calmly.
The Prince looked at Akre, then at his knife, then back at Akre. His face settled back into its usual sneer as he released the woman. She crumpled to the ground and began twitching and crying once more.
?Yes?yes, Kryzlac, you?re right. My duty is to hold court and that alone. My anger?overwhelmed me, you understand.? the Prince said, glancing around. Everyone?s eyes were still on the pair of them. As if to regain his composure, the Prince smoothed out the front of his silk shirt and stood more upright. He returned to his throne, ignoring the whispers among his advisors and the crowd. He stared hatefully out at the courtyard and spoke coldly.
?Sara Highley, I sentence you to death for the crime and heresy of witchcraft. Kryzlac, dispose of her. Now.? he added, glaring at Akre.
The woman was now quiet, but tears continued to flow down her face. Akre nodded to the two guards. One took hold of the woman and tied her to the tall pole, while the other lit a torch. Akre stood behind the woman, and silently drew the long cord he brought to every execution.
?The Ones Above have mercy on your soul.? He whispered, and wrapped it tightly about her neck. She choked and spluttered, looking at him.
?Th?.thank?.y?? she managed, before she lost consciousness and her world went dark.
A torch was handed to Akre. Knowing that the woman would never feel pain again, he touched it to the kindling at her feet and watched as she became a light in the middle of the square. After a long respectful silence, Akre turned to the sombre crowd, nodded slightly and then looked upon the grinning face of the Prince.
?It is done, my lord.? he spat, barely hiding his disgust.
With that Akre Kryzlac pivoted on his heel, gave a salute to the statue of the Warrior Spirit and disappeared into the main street, tail lashing angrily behind him, scattering fearful humans, elves and dragon-kin alike.

Prince Drandford II watched as another victim burned.
?So this is what real power feels like?? he thought, smiling mirthlessly, ?No more will I be constrained by my father.?
No more would he be kept by the weak, morality-bound laws his fool of a father laid down. He would soon have more power than even him, the ruler of one of the greatest cities in the Re-forged Land. And it all starts with murder.
The sight of the woman burning gave his soul warmth just as the fire consuming her heated his body. When the crowd had dispersed, she had continued to burn in the courtyard. He, and his closest advisors, had remained behind to watch the spectacle. He laughed cruelly and waved forward two hooded priests. They glided to his side like ghosts.
?Gather her ashes. I want them? as testament to my power.? He ordered, pointing to the stake. The priests chuckled in dry, deathly voices and swept forward.
Oh yes, he would have them as a reminder of his power. His old power.
And as a starting point for his new power?

A tall thin drake yelped and dropped the barrel of ale he was carrying as the armoured figure of Akre Kryzlac stormed past through the busy main street. He paid the cursing man no mind. Thoughts of the execution, no, the murder, he had just performed swam crazily in his head. The sobbing of an innocent woman, the smirk on the face of the cruel bastard who ordered her death?and himself, the one who carried out the command. He felt sick. Strange, that he could kill brutally and mercilessly without thought when he was called to defend the city, but the painless death of one lowly woman disturbed him so much.
?You need to calm down, Akre. You?ll do yourself no good with inward rage.?
The voice of Sister Olivia reverberated in his head. It always did when he started to get like this. The priestess had basically been his mother since his father fled the city with another woman and his mother took her own life out of grief, so it was normal he memorised her lectures, no matter how boring he thought them.
The main street of Holfornon City was flanked by massive brick buildings, immaculately clean for the perfection-demanding eyes of the noble classes that made frequent journeys down the street. To Akre?s left stood the Holfornon Academy of Engineering and Science, a short, but massively wide building covered in ancient insignias depicting lightning and fire, as well as busts of the most prestigious (or wealthy) members of the school. It was the only building unclean, perpetually stained with the soot of the black fumes emanating from its many chimneys. The street cleaners had simply given up on it, paying attention to the buildings that didn?t produce their own filth. To his right, the Church of the Ones Above. Akre always laughed quietly when he thought about the two buildings. The Chapel was tall and almost shone it was so clean. A place of great respect for most people, but one that caused many of the students in the Academy to snort all-knowingly and mutter about ?silly traditions?, perhaps in response to the claims by the Church that the Academy was ?just a place for heathens?. Ironic then, that they stood nearly exactly opposite.
He turned left, towards the Academy, sighing and tossing his horned head to clear it.
?The counsel of a true friend is always the best cure for your troubles??
Gods, he wished his memory was a little worse and his own thoughts a little louder?
 1 Comment 
Can you take this without deleting any questions?
I suppose...

What?s going on between you and the last person you kissed?

What was your worst mistake in your life?
Letting my feelings get in the way of calm logic. >:(

Would you get back with your last ex if they asked you?
Ummm....dont have one. :D

What?s the last thing that made you sad?
The sad truth that is reality.

Last time you had butterflies in your stomach?
Today, for no discernable reason.

How was today?
Bit boring, a little convoluted though.

Do you wear glasses?

Anywhere you'd rather be right now?
Anywhere but this reality...

Are you going anywhere for the next summer?
Don't think so.

Are you waiting for anyone to call you?
Nope. Wish people did though.

Will you call them if they don't call?

Where did you get the shirt you are wearing?

Could you go a day without eating?

Have you ever kissed anyone whose name starts with a K?
I dont know...?

What does the 8th message in your inbox say and who was it from?
no problem =)

What was the last thing you drank?

What is for dinner tonight?
Chicken stir-fry

Does your ex miss you?
Dont have one.

Is anyone in love with you?
Roxy! I love furry goddess...

How has this week been?
Not great, truth be told.

Does the last person you shared a bed with mean anything to you?
Ari means an awful lot to me. :L

Are you slowly drifting away from someone?

Who did you see today?
A lot of people who I wont see again.

Have you ever kissed anyone whose name started with a J?

Did anyone see you kiss the last person you kissed?
Roxy and I are very private creatures...for good reason...

Do you still talk to the person you last kissed?
All the time.

Does anyone hate you?
Yup! Theres a queue by now...

Do you believe every one deserves a second chance?
Yes. But only a second chance.

Have you ever seen your best friend(s) cry?

Do you walk around naked?
Who doesnt?!

Ever had the opposite sex over when no one was home?
Roxy lives with me, so...

Who will you be sleeping with tonight??
My beautiful mate Roxy...

Are you getting engaged any time soon??

Do you watch? "The Hills?"???
Uhhh, yeah...

Who was the last person you cried in front? of and when??
My mam a good while back

What's on your agenda for tomorrow?
Struggle with reality, play PS3, hug Roxy.

Who do you not get along? with?
Lots of people!

Does anyon?e know your passw?ord besid?es you?

Did you have a good day yeste?rday??
Not really.

Is tomor?row gonna? be a good day?
Probably not.

Do you like coffe?e??
On occasion.

What kind of mood are you in?
Very confused and frustrated

What were you doing? at eight? o' clock? this morni?ng?
Getting ready to go to DCU

Last thing? purch?ased?
Ummm...a bread roll I think...

Would? you ever date anyon?e your paren?ts disap?prove?d of?
My parents disapprove of ROxy, doesnt stop me.

Do you think? the word love is overu?sed??
Depends on whether you feel such emotion for someone that you just want to be part of them. I love Roxanne, I love Roxy, I love her.
Prologue (Well, probably first chapter)6/26/09
The old man coughed into his handkerchief as he shuffled towards the heavy oak door of the chambers where the generals and tacticians were waiting, probably shifting uneasily in the long wait for their leader. Akre Kryzlac could hear the phlegm in the king's throat as he wheezed once more into the cloth. Shaking his head as if to ward away his sickness, King Salir looked up at the tall drake that was his bodyguard with a somewhat paternal smile.
"I'm getting too old for this, Kryzlac. An feeble little man like me should be in bed, drinking wine and remembering his victories, not deciding how younger men such as yourself should gain their own glory." he chuckled.
Akre was silent. In truth, he didnt know what to say. So he simply nodded, and pushed open the door.
I need help. (Obvious? Well, depends.)6/15/09
Righto...heres tha deal, muthafuckaz.

I enjoy writing. And I have had these ideas for characters. However, what I have discovered about writing scenes is that a kickass soundtrack for different characters helps me think and develop the situation. Thats where you, my loyal minions, come in. Since my taste in music is painfully restricted to just metal (which is helpful, but not always), I need YOU! to help me out.

But, you see, every character has two sides, one somewhat nobler than the other, which is darker. So, I need songs which compliment the "light" sides AND the "dark" sides. But this is not relating to one personality. Often, the darker side will be directly opposite to the light.

The reward for helping? My undying gratitude and furry affection. Sound good?

I already know the answer. :P

So, onwards!

(Former) Cpt. Akre Kryzlac

Akre Kryzlac was a much-esteemed military commander in his home city of Lodythu, now a wanderer, after the city's ruler known only as "The Tyrant" by Kryzlac invited a demonic being to inhabit him and grant him an iron grip upon the city and its inhabitants souls

Akre is a drake, a humanoid dragon. He has deep blue, nearly black skin with amber eyes and wears his massive plate armour with little effort upon his seven foot tall body. He bears a long two handed blade in battle.
His best friend is Sebastian Grask with whom he shares a strange affection for war and with whom he is constantly competing with to be the best in a fight.

Light - Akre can be seen as an ambitious young man with a notable code of honour. He is chivalrous and misses no opportunity to put down any would-be oppressors anywhere he sees them. When interacting with people however, he is often blunt and direct and doesnt handle emotional matters with much tact most of the time. (His talks with Kaila Virle are an exception)

Dark - Akre is also seen as a bitter, paranoid older drake, with a snarl constantly on his lips. He cares little for others and often lashes out at those who try to talk with him. He seems intent on dying a most violent, but glorious death. This is perhaps the side of Akre that he hides, an effect of what he saw in Lodythu.

(Former) Prof. Sebstian Grask

Sebastian Grask was born in the same city as Akre Kryzlac, and was interested in machines from a young age. He excelled in the Lodythu Engineering Academy and decided to follow his friend Kryzlac onto the battlefield with his designs. So, now he follows Akre across the world, wherever they may end up.

(more to come, chillllllldren...this is Three Dog, <howls> and youre listening to...ah feck it...)
 1 Comment 
How 'bout YOU name it?! Fucking pressuriser person!5/26/09
Then came the death of the day, the final lamenting choruses of songbirds and the slow spread of night-time across the world. They lit a fire to drive away the dark and whatever hid within. Akre sat down heavily on a felled tree but didnt sigh, as he usually did. He wasn't tired per se, just weary of his life and his memories.
"Thats partly why I drink", he thought, "Isn't it? I never did before, in the city. But it helps me forget, so I drink."
He glared moodily into the thin froth of the flat beer and took another gulp of liquid comfort.
"But I'll never get rid of the memory. Never, not until things are put right..."
The shadows flickered in front of him on the forest floor as Kaila moved in front of the fire towards him. The elf sat down on the opposite end of the trunk and cast him a strange look, one between interest, worry and disturbance. Akre's lips twisted into a snarling smile. Since they had met, each one of the two, the drake and the elf, had kept their distance, waiting for one to start a proper conversation. Akre was growing tired of the game. He growled deeply and deliberately, breaking the silence, and causing Kaila to start. Sebastian looked up from the other side of the fire where he was polishing his rifle's gears. He snorted and went back to the task. He knew what Akre was doing, playing the big bad monster to get attention. He had to admit though, it worked.
Akre tossed his head for effect and fixed a blazing stare on Kaila, but his softened expression betrayed him as he spoke.
"Well? Are you going to come over here and talk to me or will we just sit here and stare at one and other? I wont bite...hard."
He laughed raggedly. Kaila seemed to relax now, and slid over to him. So close, Akre appreciated how tall she was. Not as tall as him, of course, but taller than the human women. About six feet, one inch, he decided. But she was in proportion, his wandering eyes and mind told him. She was looking at him, right in the eyes, as if trying to read a book in a foreign language. Akre blinked. He didnt like people looking into his eyes, made him feel vulnerable. His crest flared in annoyance and he snorted.
"Whats up anyway? You look at me a lot." he said.
Kaila folded her arms and smirked at him.
"Look who's talking! Every time I'm not looking in your direction, youre looking in mine. You have something to say?" she asked in a pleasant tone.
Akre, slightly shocked by her sudden confidence, was silent. He shook his head in response.
Sebastian looked up again. He grinned to himself. Akre, the big drake with nerves of steel, put in his place by this young huntress.
Kaila unfolded her arms and giggled. She put a hand on Akre's armoured hand.
"Wow, youre strange, you know that? Most men would have put in some kind of flirting there."
Akre smiled weakly.
"Sorry. Im not really in the mood....ummm...Im sorry." he mumbled. His thoughts were crowding up, obstructing his speech. He could have flirted with Kaila there, and gods knew he wanted to, but the memories never seemed to allow him to do anything like that. Sebastian had said it himself, he'd become withdrawn and very quiet. Akre had shot him a look that said "Shut up. Now." and the engineer had shrugged and muttered about "only wanting to help" Would there be a time when help would come? Could he ever get rid of the constant reminder of his failures in the city? Kaila brought him form his reverie by doing something even stranger, stroking his snout. He didnt move his head, hust his eyes to look at her. She didn't stop.
"Look, Sebastian told me about...what happened. You really shouldn't carry stuff like that with you. And from how I see it, how is any of it your fault? I know, I know, I waqsn't there and I don't know the first thing about being a soldier, but you need to look ahead. You won't find anything useful in the dark of the past, thats what my grandfather says." she said, finally bringing her hand away from his face.
Akre was silent again. Kaila sighed and got up slowly. The drake allowed a new wave of thought to wash over him.
Who is she to tell me if I failed or not? She wasn't there, thats true, she doesn't get to say anything...but...what if she's right? I mean, why was it MY fault? Why do I think that? Why am I so obsessed with it, with being a perfect man, a perfect soldier? Maybe...maybe I SHOULD just look forward? And doing that, Ill be able to see...him....easier.
Thats it.
No more looking back to the sorrow in the past, only towards the goal, only towards the tyrant.
Damn, he realised, Kaila WAS right...
He looked up at her.
" have beautiful eyes, has anyone ever told you?" he said quietly.
Kaila smiled at him. She seemed to see the new hope in him, pleased with it.
"You're sweet....but Ill talk to you tomorrow...goodnight, Akre." she said softly and vanished towards her tent. Akre smiled to himself for the first time in months and gazed into the fire.
Tomorrow had never looked brighter, he thought.
The Unforgiven III - Metallica4/18/09
How could he know
This new dawn's light
Would change his life forever?

Set sail to sea
But pulled off course
By the light of golden treasure

Was he the one causing pain
With his careless dreaming?
Been afraid
Always afraid
Of the things he's feeling

He could just be gone
He would just sail on
He'll just sail on

How can I be lost,
If I've got nowhere to go?
Search for seas of gold
How come it's got so cold?

How can I be lost?
In remembrance I relive
And how can I blame you
When it's me I can't forgive?

These days drift on
Inside a fog
It's thick and suffocating

His sinking life
Outside it's hell
Inside, intoxication

He's run aground
Like his life
Water much too shallow

Slipping fast
Down with his ship
Fading in the shadows

Now a castaway
They've all gone away
They've gone away

How can I be lost
If I've got nowhere to go?
Search for seas of gold
How come it's got so cold?

How can I be lost?
In remembrance I relive
And how can I blame you
When it's me I can't forgive?

Forgive me
Forgive me not
Forgive me
Forgive me not
Forgive me
Forgive me not
Forgive me
Forgive me
Why can't I forgive me?

Set sail to sea
But pulled off course
By the light of golden treasure

How could he know
This new dawn's light
Would change his life forever?

How can I be lost,
If I've got nowhere to go?
Search for seas of gold
How come it's got so cold?

How can I be lost?
In remembrance I relive
So how can I blame you
When it's me I can't forgive?
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